The Office: Todd Packer, 7.18

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The Office: Todd Packer

Writer: Amelie Gillette, Director: Randall Einhorn

Summary (NBC): After many years and motel rooms, Dunder Mifflin traveling salesman Todd Packer is ready to leave the road behind and take a desk job in the office. However, it remains to be seen if Jim, Dwight, Holly, and the rest of the office are ready for Todd. Elsewhere, after his computer freezes for the millionth time, Andy battles office administrator Pam for a new computer. Guest stars: Amy Ryan, David Koechner.

The Office Todd Packer extras

The Office Todd Packer rating

In a poll conducted February 24-28, 2011, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.21/10

See all The Office Season 7 ratings.

The Office Todd Packer quotes

Kevin: You’re eating eight year old tomatoes.

Dwight: I ignore your cries and do not let you in. You want to know why?
Jim: Because of the sign that says, “No pounding, no begging.”

Dwight: Kevin will be eaten. Pam will be taken slave. Jim will be made a warlord’s jester. Meredith will do okay.

Jim: 494 months.
Dwight: I could see that happening.
Jim: 495 months.

Packer: Truth is, I got a couple of love bumps on my ding dong.

Michael: It was the best of times, it was the awesomest of times.

Packer: I thought we were meeting Holly today, not Jennifer Aniston.

Michael: Yes! The Pack is back.

Michael: I would like to introduce you to a man who needs no introduction. Probably because most of you have done it with him. Just kidding. He wouldn’t be interested in any of you.

Packer: It’s great to be among friends. Until then, you suckers will do.

Kevin: Nice. We got burned.

Kevin: What don’t you understand about the word “approved”?

Kevin: I have very little patience for stupidity.

Pam: I don’t want to say the other one was old, but its IP number was 1.

Michael: We have been thinking about where Packer should sit, and we can’t just sit around waiting for Creed to die.

Carved under Dwight’s (and Packer’s) desk: Packer was here and so was your mom.

Dwight: Whose dirt box is this?
Holly: That’s our zen garden.
Dwight: What do you grow in here, bullcrap?

Andy: Hey you guys! The Yarmouth Regatta video is up.

Andy: This is a sick computer! Gwen Stefani has this computer!

Andy: If you donated my computer to Africa, it would become famous as the slowest computer in Africa.

Stanley: So something good happening to Stanley is crazy now.

Andy: What, are you gonna play Mahjong faster?

Packer: Three Muske-Queers!

Packer: Since when did you learn how to read?

Dwight: Kevin, in sumo culture, you’d be considered a promising up-and-comer.

Andy: Please make sure nobody is humping me.

Erin: I think the ants are waking up. They need to start farming soon.

Michael: So I’m less funny than not funny at all?

Erin: I think the ants are starting to eat each other!

Holly: Bill Cosby, Steve Martin, Charlie Bit My Finger, Michael Scott. Then all the way down here, Todd Packer.

Packer: The only hot chocolate I’m into is Vivica A. Fox.

Jim: You know you can’t actually poison him.

Dwight: Does Edgar Allan Poe know about that one? So sinister!

Jim: Call Froggy 101, say that we’re the tour manager for Justin Bieber and we’re giving away free tickets. We give them a number to call for the tickets, and it’s his number.
Dwight: Who is Justice Beaver?
Jim: It’s a crime fighting beaver.

Andy: Pretty sneaky, sis.

Ryan: Hey cats, we got a jam session in mods 6, 9, and 12.

Dwight: Number three, “eat a frog.” Number four, “eat a dog.”

Andy: Allow all cookies. Why certainly. Pop-ups? Yes please. Bit torrent streaming from a Somalian music website? Yeah, why not.

Andy (in computer voice): Why are you doing this to me, Andy?
Andy: Because I hate your broke ass!

Michael: You’ve been an outdoor cat. And now you have to be an indoor cat. So you can’t be peein’ all over the walls.

Packer: Michael, can I open the kimono with you?

Packer: Kevin, I am so sorry. You are skinny and you’re a genius.

Michael: Angela loves pussy cats, Packer loves… I was going to say dogs!

Michael: Packer’s going to be here until the day he dies. Just like the rest of us.

Packer: I’m a huge alligator nerd. I can name you every genus, every subspecies. Also, I’m a huge boob nerd.

Andy: Thank you for my garbage computer.

Packer: I’m going to put the ass in Tallahassee.

Darryl: Maybe you can go back down there and see if you can find me some extra sick days.

Pam: I’m full-on corrupt.

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