The Office: The Fire, 2.04

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The Office: The Fire

Writer: B.J. Novak, Director: Ken Kwapis

Summary (DVD): A kitchen fire forces the employees to congregate in the parking lot, where Jim suggests a game of “Desert Island” to pass the time, and the staff learn a little bit more about one another than was detailed on their resumes.

The Office The Fire extras

The Office The Fire quotes

Jim: What, how did you get this number? Stalker!

Pam: Katy and Jim met in the office, and now I guess they’re like going out or dating or something. And, uh, I don’t know, you know, they’re just, she calls him, and they, you know, I’m sorry, I feel like I’m talking really loud. Am I talking really loud?

Michael: Wanna be a manager?
Ryan: Uh, no actually, uh, what I want is to own my own company.
Michael: That is ridiculous.

Michael: I’m like Mr. Miyagi and Yoda rolled into one.

Michael: Do you know who that is?
Ryan: Fozzie Bear?
Michael: Mmm, no. That was Yoda.

Michael: There are ten rules of business you need to learn. Number one, you need to play to win, but … you also have to win to play.

Dwight: Michael and I have a very special connection. He’s like Batman, I’m like Robin. He’s like the Lone Ranger, and I’m like Tonto. And it’s not like there was the Lone Ranger, and Tonto, and Bonto.

Angela: Arms at your side! Arms at your side!

Dwight: This is not a test! Can you leave?
Phyllis: Oh, you say that every time.

Dwight: Remove your stockings, okay? They’ll melt right into your flesh. Stay below the smoke line. Let’s go! Clear out, stat! Stat means now!

Michael: Women are equal, in the workplace, by law. So I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.

Michael: Adapt, react, readapt, apt. Alright? That’s rule number two.

Ryan: I don’t want to be, like, a guy here, you know? Like, Stanley is the crossword puzzle guy, and Angela has cats. I don’t wanna have a thing here, you know, I don’t wanna be the something guy.

Phyllis: Um, the Da Vinci Code.
Angela: The Da Vinci Code. I would take the Da Vinci Code. So I could burn the Da Vinci Code.
Dwight: Okay, great, that’s gonna keep you warm for like, seven seconds. Question: is there firewood on the island?
Jim: I guess?
Dwight: Then I would bring an ax, no books.
Jim: No, it has to be a book, Dwight.
Dwight: Fine. Physician’s Desk Reference.
Jim: Nice. Smart.
Dwight: Hollowed out. Inside, waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket, and … in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. No, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Question: did my shoes come off in the plane crash?

Michael: Rule number four, in business, image is everything. Andre Agassi.

: Legends of the Fall, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Legally Blonde, Bridges of Madison County …

Pam: Well I kind of like Legally …
Jim: Wait, wait, wait, Pam, no. Do you understand the, the game is Desert Island Movies, not Guilty Pleasure Movies. Desert Island Movies are the movies you’re going to watch for the rest of your life! Forever! Unforgivable.
Pam: I take it back.
Jim: Unforgivable.
Pam: I take it back!
Jim: Good.

Michael: When I was Ryan’s age, I worked in a fast food restaurant, to save up money for school. And then … I lost it in a pyramid scheme, but I learned more about business, right then and there, than business school would ever teach me, or Ryan would ever teach me.

Michael: I did not go to business school. You know who else didn’t go to business school? LeBron James, Tracy McGrady, Kobe Bryant. They went right from high school to the NBA, so … so it’s not the same thing, at all.

Jim: Pam, get us back into it. Five movies, go ahead.
Pam: Okay, um, Fargo, um, Edward Scissorhands, Dazed and Confused …
Jim: Ooh, definitely in my top 5.
Pam: Yes, in my top 3, so suck it.

Pam: You know, I bet Ryan thinks to himself, I wish I were a volunteer sheriff on the weekend.
Dwight: He doesn’t even know that I do that.
Pam: You should tell him.
Dwight: Oh yeah Pam, right. That’s going to help things, just talk it out. I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted.

Dwight: Oh Jim, I’m not going to quit. Then Ryan wins.

Jim: Um, Kevin, hands down. Yeah. He’s really got that teddy bear thing going on, and afterwards, we could just watch bowling.

Michael: Well, I would definitely have sex with Ryan. ‘Cause he is going to own his own business.

Roy: You’re all gay!

Michael: I didn’t say it to him. I said it about him.

Dwight: Apparently, in business school, they don’t teach you how to operate a toaster oven. Because some smart, sexy, temp left his cheese pita on oven instead of timing it for the toaster thing!

Ryan: I can’t believe I started … the fire.

Katy: First, Legally Blonde.
Pam laughs. Cut to Pam talking to the camera.
Pam: I forgot what a super-nice girl Katy is. It’s just … good for Jim. They are so cute together. And um, what an adorable car.

Dwight: Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe. RYAN STARTED THE FIRE!


  1. I have really sentimental feelings for this episode because I wrote B.J. (who wrote this episode) to tell him I thought the Andre Agassi line was really funny, and B.J. wrote me back! I was thrilled.

    He said: “You are the first to quote the Andre Agassi line! I came up with it on the spot and told it to Steve and was SOOO proud of it. I thought no one noticed, or remembered the Canon ads. Glad you did!”

  2. I rewatched this one today and I noticed that when they are playing “who would you do?” Kevin, and more importantly, Oscar say Pam right away. Is this a flaw in writing? Cause by now we all know that Oscar is gay. Hmmmmm…
    I’m over thinking this too much…

  3. We don’t know Oscar is truly gay until “The Secret” episode where Dwight spies on Oscar because of his mysterious “sick day.” They provided subtle hints previous to this episode, like “Halloween” where he’s dressed as a woman but otherwise it was not blatantly known until later on.

    But yeah, he might have been trying to cover up his homosexuality if that was the case? (No one in the office knows besides the camera people)

  4. I also noticed that in the scene after Meredith’s favorite movies that there is a clear sighting of a camera man quickly moving out of the way during the scene with Ryan, Dwight and Michael. Tell me if you see it too. It’s a pretty big mistake.

  5. One of my favorites from this episode that I didn’t see already listed…

    Dwight: This is not a test! Can you leave?
    Phyllis: Oh, you say that every time.
    Dwight: Do you wanna die?! Do you wanna die?!

  6. NICE catch, Adam! Had to rewind the tape a few times before I caught it. Of course, one could argue that it was all under the guise of the whole mockumentary thing.

  7. adam, i dont really think its a mistake, they make it fairly obvious, remember this is a mockumentary type show.

    this is one of my favourite episodes yet

  8. Adam, it’s not an error, Oscar just probably didn’t want everyone else to think he was guy so he said pam. Ahaaa

  9. This was the first full episode I watched back in 2005. I started watching My Name is Earl and watched half of Office Olympics. This episode really hooked me in on the dynamics. One thing I noted, they really worked to soften up Jim and Pam. The scene where they confront Dwight in the car and tell him to quit. I thought they came off a little mean. I wonder if the Producers did too, and started making Dwight’s ridiculous actions prompt Jim’s retaliation. Just a minor thought.

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