The OfficeTally Dunder-ku Contest

“Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.” — Jim as Dwight, ‘Product Recall’

This, my fellow Office fanatics, is what I hereby dub a Dunder-ku — an offbeat version of its namesake — the haiku.

A Dunder-ku consists of four words, three of which must alliterate (start with the same letter).

The goal of this contest is to come up with your own Dunder-ku, describing any character on The Office.

How to enter

  • Create a Dunder-ku according to the requirements above.
  • Add your Dunder-ku in a comment to this post.
  • One Dunder-ku entry per person.
  • Spelling and punctuation count!
  • Please include a valid email address.
  • U.S. residents only, please.


  • Pushed around Pam-puppy. (Toby)
  • Hysterical. High maintenance. Hussy. (Jan)
  • Ryan’s dumpster-diving ditz. (Kelly)


  • Submit entries by Saturday, July 14th, 11pm PT.


  • I will choose my favorite 20 entries. You will get to vote on your favorite. The top three vote-getters will win a prize!
  • Prizes will be awarded waterfall style: the top vote-getter will get their choice of three prizes, the second-place vote-getter will get to choose from the remaining two prizes, and so on.
  • Prize choices: Dunder Mifflin cap, This is Pam t-shirt (size L), and I Heart Jim t-shirt (size XL).
  • Prizes graciously provided by the NBC Universal Office Store.


  1. i thought it was “bear beats battlestar galactica” have i been wrong all along?

  2. hey m, yeah that’s what I thought too because Dwight said right after, “Bears do not beat…wait what’s going on? what are you doing?”

    and here’s mine for Michael: humorous, hopeless, attention hog

  3. I LOVE this!!! So we can only do one? I have four! Guess I’ll have to pick the best…

  4. Okay, here’s my favorite: (I could A cappella as one word – hope that’s okay)


    Anger. A-cappella. Angela’s adversary.

  5. Kevin: Apathetic, Animalizing, Anal Fissure-Ridden Accountant.

    (FYI-Animalize is a verb tense of the word pervert. I thought it fit perfectly for our favorite accountant.)

  6. Andy: Saucy singing sumo sycophant.

    I like to think that when Andy was floating in the lake, he comforted himself by singing “S.O.S” by Sting/the Police.

  7. finally a contest that is doable for me!

    oh wait.
    i’m canadian.

    bitter nameless northern neighbor (me)

  8. I love yours, TobyFan! It’s friggin’ hysterical!

    Here’s my ANDY BERNARD Dunder-Ku:
    Rockin’ Robin Ringtone Bearer

  9. oops, i messed up punctuation. Here is a re-do..

    Michael: What?! When? Why??? Toby…

  10. Ryan: Callow. Cavalier. Corporate office.

    This is so much fun. There are so many possibilities!

  11. I know it says one character, but I don’t listen.

    Perfect pranking pair.

    Jim & Pam

  12. meredith: loving liquidator of liquor

    (different email address, more current)
    thanks…sorry for the mix up

  13. ok this one won’t count since i already submitted, but can i still post it (it’s alliterative when said aloud)?

    Naughty. Knickers. 99% sure. (ben franklin)

  14. One for Roy:
    Pammy, Pushy, Proud.

    One for Pam:
    Improved, Illustrative, Influencing.

    One for Dwight:
    Merciless, Mordor, Man Meat.

    One for Kevin:
    Accountant, Anal Fissures, Angela anger.

  15. Ooops didn’t see the one per person this is my favorite:
    Merciless, Mordor, Man Meat.

  16. Sorry about that first one…I accidentaly hit “enter.”

    Jim: Adorable. Awesome. Admired by all.

  17. Oi! I just noticed that my Dunder-ku has 5 words! So sorry! Here is my final, edited version:

    Jim: Awesome. Adorable. Ask Pam.

  18. I just realized mine was 5 words!!! Dang it!
    Let’s try this…

    Bar, Beers, Buzzed, Bejesus-Annoyer! – Andy Bernard

  19. Open. Only her. Once. (Casino Night)

    Michael: deuce-dropping debonair.

    Katy. Karen. Obstacles kicked.

  20. Man, if only I read the rules… (affixes dunce cap firmly upon own head)

    Erase those and I’ll submit this one:

    F stands for fudge. (Todd F Packer)

    Sorry, Jennie. :)

  21. tanster, I know we can only do one and I know these don’t count since I already posted, but I was so bored and I love this contest! I couldn’t resist! Here are my other unnofficial Dunder-kus just for fun:

    Meredith- Van. Vodka. Bat victim.
    Angela- Pam Pong Player Extraordinaire.
    Jim- Prankster Pining for Pam.
    Toby- Divorced. Defeated. Devil’s Butthole.
    Creed- Steal. Sixties. Death Smell.
    Dwight- Menstruate. Mordor. Mose’s cousin.
    Pam(and Jim)- Reception. Rejection. Finally Reunited.

  22. I know it’s supposed to be for only one character but there’s no Jim without Pam and vice versa so you could say in some ways JAM is a character in itself…

    Crush… Eye Contact… Chemistry (JAM)

  23. *Slight* revision to previous entry. Try this:

    Delayed dating Dunder pair. (Jim & Pam)


  24. Hey tanster – just ignore my last batch of illegal poems! I was a little over-enthusiastic! I promise to obey the rules from now on!

  25. Here are my first drafts:

    Recreational Routes to Receptionist (Jim)

    Taboids. Talkative. Temp-lover. (Kelly)

  26. Sorry, StBernard. I just saw yours and realized mine overlapped it. I’ll try another

    Dwight’s assistant? Ally? Absolutely!

  27. Bitter. Belligerent. Ungrateful. Bee-yotch

    Mrs. Allen (from Product Recall)

  28. Prejudiced. Profane. Prison Mike. (Michael)

    Hard. Heartless. Dwight’s Hooker. (Angela)

    Drunk. Desperate. Drives Minivan. (Meredith)

    Dumped. DUI. Angry Dude. (Roy)

    Unloving. Unmarried. Now Unemployed. (Roy)

    Wallflower. Waiting. Fire Walker (Pam)

    Supervisor. Sexy. Stretch Pants (Jan)

  29. oh, and that was for dwight. because he won a dundee (of course), because Andy called him a douche, and because michael sang ‘tiny dancer’ at the dundees.

  30. Kevin: Hateball. Hero. Heat 69.

    Andy: Sabotage. Sandwich. Sumo. Sorry.

    Oscar: Gil. Gaycation. Great Settlement.

    Dwight: Sheriff. Subordinates. Schrute Bucks.

    Dwight: Monkeylover. MarijuanaHater. Mozart’s Friend.

    Dwight: Samuel Chang. Cookie. Coals.

    Dwight: Battlestar Galactica. Gaydar. Griffendor.

    Jan: Sandals Sun Princess Snapshot.

    Ryan: Mufasa. Mexican Lemonade. Manager.

    Carol: Condo. Cheerleader. Called Off.

    Phyllis: Sports Bra. Bride. Blindsided.

    Jim: Teapot. Transfered. Big Tuna.

  31. Joined in Jestful Jamming.
    (Jim and Pam–and everyone who loves them!)

  32. Great contest! Here’s my submission:

    (Andy Bernard) Brownnoser. Broken brain. Buoyant!

  33. My official submission:

    Pennsylvania’s preeminent party captain. (Captain Jack)

    My others:

    Bearded cousin befriends beets. (Mose)

    Peddling purses. Perturbing Pam. (season 1 Katy)

    Ditched Gould; dating dope. (Jan)

    (and for you JAM lovers out there…)
    Pray…pretend…Pam Halpert. (Pam)

  34. I’m not trying to pull an Andy here but:
    Cool… Consistent… Commendable Host (Tanster)

    My actual one for this contest is:
    Crush… Eye Contact… Chemistry (JAM)

  35. Another fun contest! Thanks, tanster. Here’s my submission:

    Brief. Brave. Beach Speech. (Pam)

  36. I probably missed the deadline, because I always do, but here goes:

    Jam, the jinxing jokers

  37. I made the time limit! Anyways, forgot to say who Jam, the jinxing jokers are. Can a dunder-ku include two people anyway? Well, mine is Jim and Pam obviously. If it can’t include two, then my back-up is:
    Dorky, dim witted Dwight

  38. I know I’m only supposed to enter once, but I’m having too much fun!

    Fancy. Flonkerton. Fire-walker. (Pam)

  39. Perverted, pretentious, paper manager-Michael’s bad side

    Caring, Comedic, Chrysler driver.-His good side.

  40. Divorced, Dull, but Dear.

    Against Michael, Meloncholy, Monotone

  41. Contrived, convicted, conflicted, stereotyped. (“Prison” Mike).

  42. Natasha, this one is excellent!

    “Mom. Minivan. Malt liquor.


  43. Inept. Inarticulate. Inevitably Lovable.
    – Michael Scott

    Jim, jump Pam! Jam.
    – Jam

    Stretch pants sound scary.
    – Jan

    Perverse poster equals porn.
    – Oscar

    Pathetically patient punching bag.
    – Toby

    Alluring artist. Office amore.
    – Pam

    Dreamy, devilish hero. Delicious.
    – Jim

    Traitor temp turned corporate.
    – Ryan

    Clingy girlfriend gone. Goodbye.
    – Karen

    Gloss, glitter, gossip fanatic.
    – Kelly

    Bribed by fudge brownies.
    – Kevin

    Stuffy, stifling, sex fiend.
    – Angela

    Booze bag burnout mama.
    – Meridith

    Sticky fingers. Strange standards.
    – Creed

    Ok, I’m addicted… must… stop…. writing.

  44. Bob’s Flonkerton-finishing female (Phyllis)

    Hungry hippie hoarding money (Creed)

  45. Tanster, this contest has been so fun! Great idea! People are so creative. I’ve laughed out loud many times. Have fun trying to narrow down the finalists!

  46. Reluctant, resentful, wet ring-bearer. (Michael Scott)

    My computer counts “ring-bearer” as one word; I hope you do, too. If not, please use the one below as my submission. Thanks!

    Married. Matronly. Mother Goose. (Phyllis Lapin Vance)

  47. Oops! Dunder Mifflin isn’t hyphenated! Re-entry!

    Dimples dumped Dunder Mifflin. (Josh)

  48. (Michael)
    sub-par schoolgirl video star

    makes Sybil seem sane

    world wide WORD blogger

    fridge’s first lady. Flonkerton!

    sumo buoy sets sail

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