The Office: Blood Drive, 5.18

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The Office Blood Drive

Writer: Brent Forrester, Director: Randall Einhorn

Summary (NBC): Michael meets a mysterious woman at a Valentine’s blood drive. Dwight and Kevin pair up with single women at the office “Lonely Hearts Party.” Meanwhile Jim and Pam have an awkward lunch with Phyllis and Bob.

The Office Blood Drive rating

In a poll conducted March 5-9, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.86/10

See all The Office Season 5 ratings.

The Office Blood Drive quotes

Pam: But I’d like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone … vending machine.

Jim: You’re only engaged once. Well, present company excluded.

Kelly: “It’s time for your dental cleaning, and maybe a check-up, too.”

Michael: These people need to be protected from having love shoved into their faces.

Dwight: It’s so sexy, it becomes hostile.

Michael: Hey, everybody. I just invited Jim to suck it.

Dwight: I can retract my penis up into itself.

Michael: Wow. I feel like a human juice box. Hawaiian Blood Punch. Type O-cean Spray.

Jim: I have a lot of work to do this afternoon. Those mines aren’t going to sweep themselves.

Michael: I was so nervous about this, I don’t think I ate for three days.

Michael: Excuse me, waitress? Where did the lady go?

Meredith: Now it’s just a stupid baby.

Michael: Relationships. We don’t need no stinkin’ relationships.

Kevin: Was he into you, in like, a gay way?

Michael: No, not a giant net.

Michael: I was thinking maybe, like a mixer. Old fashioned meat market.

Dwight: You’re not allowing natural selection to do its work. You’re like the guy who invented the seat belt.

Michael: “I’m in love! I was hit by Cupid’s sparrow!” Funny little bird but he gets the job done.

Dwight: I can untie any knot.

Michael: Meredith recently had a total hysterectomy. So that’s sort of a repair.

Dwight: Three billion women on the planet, most of them live in Asia, so the numbers just don’t add up.

Michael: I think our blood bags touched.

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123 comments

  1. Great episode! Very understated and nothing was too over the top. I loved the end scene with everyone walking out all together. Very sweet.

  2. SUCH a great episode. Very classic, sad, hilarious and adorable (AND kinky) all at once. Perfect, I would say.

  3. I loved this episode! It’s one of my new favorites for the season so far. I especially liked the Jim/Pam dynamic.

  4. The cold open was weird…other than that, loved it. Perfectly awkward and really cute. “Cupid’s sparrow” was funny, and I loved the references to the season two Valentine’s…Pam got her flowers!!! The Phyllis and Bob lunch was HILARIOUS! It was pretty obvious what was going on when they mentioned it had been ten minutes, but their faces were hysterical. Dunno how I feel about the Kevin love interest…but overall, I really enjoyed this one.

  5. Top 10 among the worst cold opens in 5 seasons.

    Top 10 among best episodes among the 5 seasons.

  6. Hilarious and a great job with Jim/Pam and Phyllis/Bob. If only Michael would have found the girl….maybe next week?

    (PS: I don’t think Dwight was wearing a mustard shirt, was he?)

  7. They just HAD to go looking for Phyllis and Bob, didn’t they??

    Great episode. I was hoping Michael would find that girl.

  8. That was one of Dwight’s better episodes, he was hilarious. There’s 3 million girls, most of them in asia, the numbers are against you.

  9. MUCH better than the Lecture Circuit episodes. I loved the cold open and there was nothing over the top (Angel licking her cat and coughing up a hairball.) The best part for me was Kelly’s dentist appointment reminder.

  10. I was smiling throughout the whole episode! That’s even more important than the laughs sometimes. This episode did not lack laughs — maybe it didn’t have as many as a season 2 episode — but it was overall a very enjoyable, feel-good experience that we’ve had too few of this year.

  11. Another awesome episode. I loved when everyone in the office was telling their worst break up stories. Kevin and Michael were great in this episode. I was happy when Kevin got the girl’s email. It was cool to see everyone be supportive of Michael while he waited for the girl from the blood drive. Jim and Pam’s lunch was no fun. I thought Bob Vance was a bit annoying. However I did enjoy the JAM moments at the beginning of the episode.

  12. I love the scene where all the Office singles are talking about past relationships. It’s incredible how supportive they’re actually being of each other, and Michael (!) of all people is leading the charge! It’s amazing! Michael’s singles mixer was actually a pretty good idea, and I was impressed with the fact that he wasn’t delusional about Blood-Drive-Girl, just hopeful. The scene where they all walk into the parking lot and are all saying goodbye to Michael was really nice too.

    Awesome episode. :)

  13. Oh wow. I absolutely loved this episode. Everything about it. I actually liked the cold opening. Jim and Pam with Phyllis and Bob was amazing. I was hoping we would see a little more after they came back from the bathroom, haha. Oh well. Still loved it. Definitely one of my favorite episodes of this season!

  14. I loved it! But I started watching late, and my DVR never records the first few seconds of it so I missed half of the cold open, so I really did not get it. But other than that it was a great episode. The Jim/Pam dynamic was great because of their reactions to Phyllis and Bob, who always seem awkward to me anyway (but in a very good, endearing way). I love that Phyllis and Bob are so secretly kinky!!! And I’m sort of glad that Michael didn’t see his glove girl again–it makes it more realistic and gives us something to look forward to. Dwight was hilarious–it seemed like he was coming on to that girl when he was really just trying to get her business.

    Great Episode!!!

  15. Great episode – YAY for Kevin! “Are you on email?” drew one of my biggest laughs of the night. I thought the couples’ lunch was hilarious, and I always love when the staff shows that they truly care about Michael. I hope “Cupid’s sparrow” finds its way back to him soon. Haha. :)

    Very enjoyable ep! Nice work, Brent!

  16. Oh goodness. Laughed like a two-year-old when Jim and Pam heard the Vance’s “putting something in the refrigerator.” That’s what she said.

  17. This episode was great and the ending was so sweet. Loved how everyone was so supportive of Michael. Also Dwight was hilarious in this episode, as usual, and Pam finally got her flowers. So cute.

  18. What was wrong with the cold open? Jim helped out Pam, and knew he could get Michael to not say anything by acting goofy. Hilarious.

  19. Good episode overall! Only part I didn’t like was the line of Dwight saying he can retract his penis. That just seemed too weird. Michael was calmly sane as much as he possibly can be, which was a nice change of pace. Creed stealing the blood cracked me up!! Jim and Pam are great as always. Andy was missed in this episode!!

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