The Office: Blood Drive, 5.18

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The Office Blood Drive

Writer: Brent Forrester, Director: Randall Einhorn

Summary (NBC): Michael meets a mysterious woman at a Valentine’s blood drive. Dwight and Kevin pair up with single women at the office “Lonely Hearts Party.” Meanwhile Jim and Pam have an awkward lunch with Phyllis and Bob.

The Office Blood Drive rating

In a poll conducted March 5-9, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.86/10

See all The Office Season 5 ratings.

The Office Blood Drive quotes

Pam: But I’d like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone … vending machine.

Jim: You’re only engaged once. Well, present company excluded.

Kelly: “It’s time for your dental cleaning, and maybe a check-up, too.”

Michael: These people need to be protected from having love shoved into their faces.

Dwight: It’s so sexy, it becomes hostile.

Michael: Hey, everybody. I just invited Jim to suck it.

Dwight: I can retract my penis up into itself.

Michael: Wow. I feel like a human juice box. Hawaiian Blood Punch. Type O-cean Spray.

Jim: I have a lot of work to do this afternoon. Those mines aren’t going to sweep themselves.

Michael: I was so nervous about this, I don’t think I ate for three days.

Michael: Excuse me, waitress? Where did the lady go?

Meredith: Now it’s just a stupid baby.

Michael: Relationships. We don’t need no stinkin’ relationships.

Kevin: Was he into you, in like, a gay way?

Michael: No, not a giant net.

Michael: I was thinking maybe, like a mixer. Old fashioned meat market.

Dwight: You’re not allowing natural selection to do its work. You’re like the guy who invented the seat belt.

Michael: “I’m in love! I was hit by Cupid’s sparrow!” Funny little bird but he gets the job done.

Dwight: I can untie any knot.

Michael: Meredith recently had a total hysterectomy. So that’s sort of a repair.

Dwight: Three billion women on the planet, most of them live in Asia, so the numbers just don’t add up.

Michael: I think our blood bags touched.

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