The Office: Blood Drive, 5.18

Thursday, March 5th, 2009 | 123 comments


The Office Blood Drive

W: Brent Forrester, D: Randall Einhorn

Summary (NBC): It’s Valentine’s Day at the office. Michael meets a mysterious woman at a Valentine’s blood drive. Dwight and Kevin pair up with single women at the office “Lonely Hearts Party.” Meanwhile Jim and Pam are banished from the office for being too publicly affectionate, and have an awkward lunch with Phyllis and Bob.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.

Favorite quotes

Pam: But I’d like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone … vending machine.

Jim: You’re only engaged once. Well, present company excluded.

Kelly: “It’s time for your dental cleaning, and maybe a check-up, too.”

Michael: These people need to be protected from having love shoved into their faces.

Dwight: It’s so sexy, it becomes hostile.

Michael: Hey, everybody. I just invited Jim to suck it.

Dwight: I can retract my penis up into itself.

Michael: Wow. I feel like a human juice box. Hawaiian Blood Punch. Type O-cean Spray.

Jim: I have a lot of work to do this afternoon. Those mines aren’t going to sweep themselves.

Michael: I was so nervous about this, I don’t think I ate for three days.

Michael: Excuse me, waitress? Where did the lady go?

Meredith: Now it’s just a stupid baby.

Michael: Relationships. We don’t need no stinkin’ relationships.

Kevin: Was he into you, in like, a gay way?

Michael: No, not a giant net.

Michael: I was thinking maybe, like a mixer. Old fashioned meat market.

Dwight: You’re not allowing natural selection to do its work. You’re like the guy who invented the seat belt.

Michael: “I’m in love! I was hit by Cupid’s sparrow!” Funny little bird but he gets the job done.

Dwight: I can untie any knot.

Michael: Meredith recently had a total hysterectomy. So that’s sort of a repair.

Dwight: Three billion women on the planet, most of them live in Asia, so the numbers just don’t add up.

Michael: I think our blood bags touched.


In a poll conducted March 5-9, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.86/10


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  1. 123. heyoh  

    Is it just me or are Karen and Andy shown at the restaurant sitting together when Jim and Pam start eating Bob Vance’s fries?

  2. 122. smudgy  

    I didn’t find this episode very funny, but it had its moments, such as the ones that everyone has already posted about. Reading everyone’s posts always gives me a new prospective, so I may watch it again. Looking forward to Golden Ticket tonight (:

  3. 121. Jimmy  

    Wasn’t Stanley’s wife in Stress Relief? I think he was there for the food.

  4. 120. I_hate_so_much_about_the _way_you_choose_to_be  

    I can’t remember if Stanley got divorced or not. I know that the wife we have met was his second wife, but for the life of me I can’t remember him saying he got divorced again. Great episode

  5. 119. Dwigt  

    I think Stanley just stayed for the Cake. I could so see him doing that, especially with the little cotton ball cookie stunt at the end!

  6. 118. orficeflan  

    Didn’t Stanley get divorced? I thought he talked about that recently or maybe last season.

  7. 117. Spiderface  

    Did anybody else see the tiny little bite of broccoli that pam eats when Phylob gets back to the table? It is a puny morsel, and it’s right before The Look. Stanley wasn’t at the original party, and seems to just be thrown into the conference room near the end when they are packing up to leave. Perhaps he was making sales calls and doing a crossword during the mixer. Just a guess.

  8. 116. JL  

    To Ed K (#112), the Enchanted mention could be a nod to Amy Adams … the “Hot Girl” from Season 1. And it’s so classic that Michael thinks it’s “Cupid’s Sparrow.”

  9. 115. DJ Jazzy Flax  

    Great to see Kevin’s mug from Kelly’s party in the scene where he says it’s been a good day after all :)

    Michael: “Where are you from?”
    Kevin: “I’m from here.” Haha, gotta love Kevin

  10. 114. what's the dealio?  

    Great episode. The thumbs-up “Aaaayyyy” in the cold open was just the sort of interaction Michael craves with his co-workers, and his enthusiasm and naivety over it, and his wanting to continue was so very him in a nutshell. I loved how everyone was supportive of him as he waited for the blood drive lady; it’s great to get those little glimpses that the co-workers really do care about each other. And Kevin just about broke my heart!

    Pam and Jim sneaking fries and bites of steak (get out!) was hysterical. Wonderful to see Jim and Pam still best friends but in love, publicly, on a Valentines day episode! Phyllis and Bob–oh yikes, I thought they actually had dined and dashed…how wrong I was!

  11. 113. jACOB  

    I did not understand why Stanley, who is married, was allowed to go to the Valentine’s Day mixer

  12. 112. james  

    Anita, that was one of my favorite parts too.

  13. 111. Anita  

    You know what my favorite part was? Seeing Stanley smiling in the parking lot as he and everybody else was leaving work for the day.

  14. 110. Ed K.  

    I liked Michael calling the bloodmobile lady “waitress,” and that Kelly thought Michael meeting the mystery woman was “like a modern day Enchanted.” I guess 2007 is too ancient for Kelly! Oh, and Michael trying to comfort Dwight by saying “You don’t deserve her.” Great episode.

  15. 109. nv  

    I loved how simple and feel-good this episode was. The mystery woman storyline was so sweet, especially when the office stuck by him. And wow- that line Michael popped out about the significance of just picking up the slipper- probably one of the most insightful Michael Soctt moments ever!
    The understated Jim-Pam storyline was perfection too. I need to take the episode descriptions with a grain of salt!

  16. 108. phyllis*farm  

    103, pop1013-

    Excellent observation. What makes Jam so great is that both John and Jenna have had over four years to develop a comfort zone while playing characters in love with each other. Compare this to actors playing a couple in a movie who have just met and have to imagine a multi-year chemistry. John and Jenna don’t have to do it, so little moments like eating Bob Vance (Vance Refrigeration)’s food have an added depth of adorableness.

  17. 107. timeerkat  

    I really liked this episode, it’s in my top favorites for the season. It’s funny how in just a few seasons, it went from Pam being the odd woman out on V-Day to her being the only one receiving a Valentines gift (Kelly’s card doesn’t count). The cold open was priceless!

    @ 89 – I was thinking that too! But my guess would be since JAM and Phyllis were all out, Stanley was the only non-single person left. So he was probably just with the group so he wouldn’t be the only one not at the party…if that makes sense?

  18. 106. DJ Jazzy Flax  

    -Michael was indeed cute & charming in this episode. Poor guy fainted though…well, he’s meant to be w/Holly!
    -Kevin was adorable: “Are you on email?” “Seriously, feel how sweaty my hand is.”
    -Bob Vance: “I honestly don’t know how you can work with that Jackass, that other Jackass and that new Jackass.”
    -Jim & Pam eating off Bob’s plate
    -Dwight saying something about feeling lopsided because of the blood taken from his right arm
    -Stanley & Phyllis trying to score cookies, Creed stealing blood

  19. 105. RobertVance  

    Chuck, you’re a superstar!

    I saw Puffy Chair a few months ago. Michael’s interest was indeed the female lead.

    She was uncredited on IMDB as of yestereve and trying to place her was really starting to do my head in!

    Thanks for the save.

  20. 104. Rachel  

    Loved Michael in this one, particularly the cubid’s sparrow part, he also looked cute in this one! I loved Pam’s laugh when Bob suggested Jim model ladies jewelery!

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