The Office: Casino Night, 2.22

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The Office: Casino Night

Writer: Steve Carell, Director: Ken Kwapis

Summary (NBC): In the season finale, Michael and the Dunder Mifflin crew hold a Casino Night for charity in their warehouse and take some big gambles.


The Office Casino Night extras

  • From a January 2013 TV Guide article: [Greg] Daniels says there have been ideas to involve the elusive documentary crew more in the show since the show’s early years, and he pointed specifically to an alternate ending that was shot for the Season 2 finale, “Casino Night,” when Jim and Pam kissed for the first time. “There was this huge divide among the writing staff and the director and the cast,” Daniels said. “[Steve Carell, who wrote the episode, and director Ken Kwapis] really wanted to follow the characters and the emotion of the moment, and the writing staff was itching to do something kind of weird and have it be a private moment that the doc crew didn’t know was going to happen and so only heard on their mics and came running around the corner to film.”
  • Read more about Casino Night in Jenna’s TV Guide blog, TV Guide’s Q&A with John Krasinski, and Angela’s MySpace blog (no longer available).
  • The song that Kevin’s band, Scrantoncity, performs is “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by The Police.
  • What do you think Pam’s mom was saying at the other end of her conversation with Pam? Weigh in at She Said, She Said.
  • In Jenna’s MySpace blog, she confirms that no words were spoken between Jim and Pam after the kiss.
  • LITO has a little tidbit on the evolution of Kevin’s band.
  • Read James’ Northern Attack recap.

The Office Casino Night quotes

Michael: Tonight, the Scranton Business Park is having Casino Night, and we are converting our warehouse into a full-blown gambling hall. And I know it’s illegal in Pennsylvania, but uh, it’s for charity, and I consider myself a great philanderer. It’s just, it’s nice to know, at the end of the day, I can look in the mirror and say, “Michael, because of you, some little kid in the Congo has a belly full of rice this evening.” Just … makes you feel good.

Jim: Excuse me. How long is the wait for a table for two?
Dwight: I would never, ever serve you. Not in a million, billion years.
Pam: It’s a nice tux.
Dwight: I know. It belonged to my grandfather. He was buried in it, so … family heirloom.

Jim: Ever since I was a little kid, like eight or nine, I could sort of control things with my mind.
Dwight: I don’t believe you. Continue.
Jim: It was just little things, you know, like I could make something shake, or I could make a marble fall off the counter, you know, just little things.
Dwight: That’s ridiculous. You know what? Uh, why don’t you move that coat rack? Excuse me, everyone, attention in the office, please. Jim is about to prove his telekinetic powers, and he needs absolute silence. Go ahead.
Jim: Okay, I’ll try.
Jim focuses on the coat rack. The coat rack moves. Pam reveals an umbrella. Pam winks at Jim. Jim grins and concentrates even harder.
Dwight (stunned): Oh my god.

Michael: I promise I will kick it up a notch. Bam!

Michael: You are the Eva Peron to my Cesar Chavez.

Michael: Jan and I understand each other. The romance thing is sort of on hold for the time being. But we’ve remained good friends. Good friends with privileges. Not now. Someday.

Oscar: It’d be nice to do something for people who are actually suffering.

Michael: Comedy’s very much alive. As are homeless people.

Kevin: Something with animals. Or people.

Creed: There’s a great soup kitchen in downtown Scranton. Delicious pea soup on Thursdays.

Kelly: Kobe Bryant has a foundation. And he is so hot. And he gave his wife the biggest diamond ring. I know he didn’t do it. (Thinks for a second) Maybe he did it.

Angela: We are giving money that has been gambled. Why don’t we just deal drugs, or prostitute ourselves, and donate that money to charity?

Toby: Actually, I didn’t think it was appropriate to invite children, since it’s uh, you know, there’s gambling and alcohol, and it’s in our dangerous warehouse, and it’s a school night, and you know, Hooters is catering, and is that enough, is that enough, should I keep going …
Michael: Why are you the way that you are?

Michael: I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.

Michael: I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim: I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.
Michael: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael: What?
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael: That’s a dog.
Pam: No, that’s Afghan.
Michael: That’s a shawl.
Dwight: Wait, canine AIDS?
Michael: No. Humans with AIDS.
Creed: Who has AIDS?
Jim: Guys, the Afghanistananis.

Michael: AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried. There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians. JFK. AIDS. The Holocaust. The Lincoln assassintation just recently became funny. “I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head.” And I hope to someday live in a world where a person could tell a hilarious AIDS joke. It’s one of my dreams.

Jim: Pam, these are people who have never given up on their dreams. I have great respect for that. And yes, they’re all probably very bad. And that’ll make me feel better about not having dreams.

Pam: I’m pretty happy these days. I’m getting married soon, and I’m getting along with everybody at work.

Jim: Why did I talk to Jan about transferring? — well you know … I have no future here.

Darryl: Mike, I am not having fire eaters in a paper warehouse!

Darryl: I taught Mike some uh, some phrases to help with his interracial conversations, you know, stuff like, “fleece it out,” “goin’ Mach 5,” “dinkin’ flicka,” you know, things us Negroes say.

Jim: Now this band is called Scrantonicity.
Pam: Okay.
Jim: Take a look. Nice.
Pam: Oh, wait. That’s Kevin. On the drums.
Jim: What?
Pam: On the drums!
Jim: Oh, my God, that’s Kevin. Great song, Kev. Oh, my God, he’s the drummer and the singer.

Kevin: We really don’t do a lot of weddings. We actually don’t play in public very often. We’re all really hoping that Pam’s wedding works out. This could be a turning point for the band.

Jim: Yeah, you haven’t seen that since 1983.

Pam: Jim is great. Being with him just takes away all the stress of planning my wedding.

Pam: Sometimes I don’t put Michael through until he’s already said something. I look at it as a practice run for him. He usually does better on the second attempt.

Michael: At Christmas, the tree helped.

Michael: Two queens on Casino Night. I am going to drop a deuce on everybody.

Dwight: Codename Remax is here. No sign of Lan Jevinson.

Dwight: Michael said, “We must deceive them, so as not to hurt them. And in that way, we honor them.”

Creed: Oh, I steal things all the time. It’s just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago. You should see how many supplies I’ve taken from this place. Honestly, I love stealing things.

Michael: Billy, your nurse is hot.

Michael: Lady Fortune is your boss.
Stanley: Will Lady Fortune give me a raise?
Michael: Shut it, shut it.

Michael: Old friends, new lovers, and the disabled, welcome all!

Michael
: Let’s get it started. Black-Eyed Crows.

Toby: I don’t really play cards, but I’m not going to lie to you, it felt really good to take money from Michael. Gonna chase that feeling.

Jim: It’s the weirdest thing. Every time I cough, he folds.

Michael: If luck weren’t involved, I would always be winning.

Angela: Good evening, Dwight. What is this?
Dwight: Evening, Angela. This is craps. I need to roll an eight. If I do, everyone wins.
Angela: Then roll an eight.
Dwight: Thank you, Angela.
Angela: Good luck, Dwight.

Jan: Casino Night in the warehouse. Good sport.

Ryan: One beer, and one 7 and 7 with eight Maraschino cherries, sugar on the rim, blended if you can.
Jim: So that’s still going on, huh, you and Kelly.

Kevin: I won the 2002 $2,500 No-Limit Deuce to Seven Draw Tournament at the World Series of Poker in Vegas. So yeah, I’m pretty good at poker.

Phyllis: Look, I have all the clovers!

Creed: Thanks. I never owned a refrigerator.

Pam: Hey.
Jim: Hey, how’s it going?
Pam: Good. Especially after I took all your money in poker.
Jim: Yeah. Uh … hey, uh, can I talk to you about something?
Pam: About when you want to give me more of your money?
Jim: No, I …
Pam: Did you want to do that now? We can go inside. I’m feeling kind of good tonight.
Jim: I was just … um … I’m in love with you.
Pam: What?
Jim: I’m really sorry if that’s weird for you to hear, but I needed you to hear it. Probably not good timing. I know that, I just …
Pam: What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?
Jim: I just needed you to know. Once.
Pam: Well, I um … I … I can’t?
Jim: Yeah.
Pam: You have no idea …
Jim: Don’t do that.
Pam: … what your friendship means to me.
Jim: C’mon. I don’t want to do that. I want to be more than that.
Pam: I can’t. I’m really sorry … if you misinterpreted things. It’s probably my fault.
Jim: Not your fault. I’m sorry I misinterpreted uh our friendship.

Michael: Love triangle drama. All worked out in the end, though. The hero got the girl. Who saw that coming? I did. And Jan is really happy for me. So actually, the hero got two girls. He got the girl that he works with, and he got the girl that he buys real estate from. So I got my New York girl, and my local flavor … life is good.

Pam (on phone): About ten minutes ago. No, I didn’t know what to say. Yes, I know. Um, I don’t know, Mom, he’s my best friend. Yeah, he’s great. Yeah, I think I am. Jim walks in. Um, I have to go. I will.

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