The Office: China, 7.10
Thursday, December 2nd, 2010 | 114 comments
W: Halsted Sullivan and Warren Lieberstein, D: Charles McDougall
Summary (NBC): After reading an article about China growing as a global power, Michael decides China must be stopped before they take over the US. Everyone in the office complains about Dwight’s building standards and Pam threatens to move Dunder Mifflin to a new building.
Icon provided by pessimistreader.
The Office China trivia
- Learn more about Dwight’s handyman, Nate
- What one fan spotted behind the counter at Dwight’s Caffeine Corner
- Congratulations to Spleegan (90) for winning the iTunes Giveaway
- Promo
Rating
In a poll conducted December 2-6, 2010, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.56/10
The Office China quotes
Dwight: Twenty minutes a day, all feet, no hands, and I’ll have the pededexterity of a chimp and you’ll be sitting there like an idiot.
Jim: Thank you, hands. Nothing else in the universe can do what you do.
Hank: Welcome. Start your morning right with a burst of blueberry. Or try plain.
Dwight: Owning a building is a war between the landlord and the tenant. Not a literal war, unfortunately, but I am using the same tactics. I’ve surrounded the enemy and I’m slowing starving them. To save on electricity, I’ve installed a timer and motion sensors on the lights. It’s part of my green initiative. And by green, I mean money.
Michael: China is a sleeping dragon that is just beginning to stir.
Michael: Anybody read the news anymore?
Dwight: China is on the move.
Michael: I found that in the waiting room at the dentist’s office. This kid had the magazine I wanted to read. That’s the only one I could reach. And I read it. And then I read it again.
Michael: My whole life, I believed that America was number 1. That was the saying. Not “America’s number 2.” England is number 2. China should be like 8.
Andy: I wanted you to know that Michael and I are wearing the same tie today. It’s insane!
Darryl: You need to change your standard for what’s worthy of a text.
Darryl: There was a time when the only people who texted you were people you wanted to text you. Girls. And they’d all say the same thing. “I’m coming over, baby.” And I would text back “B.T.B.” Bring That Booty.
Stanley: Dwight, why is the toilet paper only half a ply?
Dwight: Oh, I’m sorry. Is that not good enough for your anus? Don’t get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.
Stanley: Don’t tell me how to do my business.
Jim: Which is you.
Dwight: “Which is you” is not a sentence.
Jim: I disagree with.
Nate: Y’ello.
Pam: Hi Nate, it’s Pam Halpert.
Nate: Hey, Pam? Dwight’s being questioned by the police in connection with a string of dognappings.
Dwight: I would much rather see a smile from Kevin than save hundreds on plumping and electricity.
Erin: According to the Internet, the tallest man in the world is Chinese.
Michael: So much for keeping our secrets up high.
Erin: What’s America going to do?
Michael: I want you all to imagine a world in which America is not the number one superpower. Where forks are irrelevant. And where every man, woman, and child is expected to learn how to play the cello.
Michael: That’s what America is built on. Big ideas, blue jeans, the Grand Canyon.
Pam: An idea bigger than the Grand Canyon?
Kevin: An antacid that you only take once a week.
Michael: Once a week antacid is the idea to beat.
Erin: What if we all get together, and help each other and hire a new guy and we all kill him, but first we take out, like a hundred thousand dollar life insurance policy. I bet you guys like that idea, don’t you?
Erin: I think that’s what they’re doing to me. I can’t prove it, but I wanted to see their faces when I said it. I learned nothing.
Dwight: I say we bomb them. By 2020, they’re going to be the world’s largest economy and they’re getting a taste for protein. and they’re getting a taste for protein. We’ll all starve.
Michael: Did you know that in China, there are 56 cities with over a million people? You know how many we have here? Nine.
Oscar: Michael, China’s agrarian. Urbaning fast? You betcha.
Meredith: Suck it, Oscar!
Jim: Well, on the plus side, all this worrying about China has made you smarter than Oscar, Michael.
Stanley: I will not work in a roach billboard.
Gabe: Oh my god. I can’t look at roaches.
Pam: Does anyone want to know where I’ve been for the last two hours?
Jim: Oh my god, I’ve been playing Zombie Soccer for two hours?
Phyllis: I like being in the same building as Bob. Keeps me honest.
Kelly: Is the nail place Koreans or whites?
Pam: Koreans.
Kelly: Good. And the dry cleaners?
Pam: White.
Kelly: Good.
Kelly: Michael, how do I create a new tab?
Michael: Try Control P.
Oscar: That’s Print.
Michael: Not if the printer isn’t hooked up.
Kelly: Oscar, it must be killing you that Michael is smarter than you.
Jim: Around here, Oscar is known as “Actually.” Because he will insert himself into just about any conversation to add facts or correct grammar. He really does fit that old stereotype of the smug, gay Mexican.
Darryl (reading text on phone): “Megan Fox. Question mark.” What’s that mean?
Darryl: You’re one bad text away from getting blocked.
Andy: Yes. But one good text away from a high five.
Kevin: I wish for a million wishes.
Dwight: Yeah, no, I’m not a genie. I’m just talking about…
Kevin: Then see you later, building.
Jim: Haven’t you noticed that I don’t bring up the Tour de France around him?
Michael: To be safe, I should learn everything about everything, but I don’t have time. Okay, okay, I’ll just learn about China and science and geography and math and literary.
Jim: No politics?
Michael: I’m pretty good on politics.
Michael (impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger): “California is bankrupt. And California, California.”
Dwight: Parlay. My office. Five minutes.
Creed: Pirate code. He wants to meet.
Pam: So everyone here knows pirate code?
Creed: I understand it. I can’t speak it.
Dwight: Why do you even need soap? Are you that bad at going to the bathroom?
Dwight: Moving is one of the most stressful things you can do in life. You’ll probably just take it out on your kid. Jim will turn to the drink. The family will fall apart. And twenty-five years from now, Cece will become world famous. For stripping.
Pam: That’s a sad story. I have another one. We move, the other tenants follow, the bank takes the building, takes your farm, takes your car, and beats the crap out of you. Penniless, you die, and my daughter Cece dances on your grave. Fully clothed.
Ryan: Where is Tibet?
Michael: Pass.
Ryan: Who is Mao?
Michael: Lifeline.
Andy: Damn it, Michael. You are moments away from the smackdown of your life.
Michael: I could talk about boobs.
Andy: Michael, I have to tell you something. It’s from Rocky 2.
Jim: Thank you.
Andy: This guy doesn’t just wanna win, you know, he wants to bury you, he wants to humiliate you…
Michael: Wait, wait, wait, how long is this going to take?
Andy: I’m like a quarter of the way through.
Michael: Is it going to be worth it?
Andy: No.
Dwight: There’s no building. This can only mean one thing.
Nate: Building’s underground.
Dwight: She was lying.
Dwight: I can’t wait to do to Pam, what I just did… to Pam.
Dwight: Oh, you’re a funny guy, Pam.
Pam: I don’t want to fail. Again.
Nate: “I wasn’t here.” It’s a pretty common saying. You may want to log it away for future use.
Oscar: People use China as the bogeyman for all their problems. In the 1980s, it was Japan.
Oscar: Do you really think that manufacturing is a relevant indicator of where the world economy is heading in 2011? Do you know the comparative expansion of say, the information sector? I say that’s far more relevant. Wouldn’t you?
Pam: You’re breaking the law.
Dwight: Impossible, I love the law!
Pam: No more cutting the tampons in two.
Dwight: I see I’ve underestimated you. And I didn’t think that was possible.
Dwight: Nate, re-ply the paper.
Nate: I don’t think it goes that way.
Dwight: Re-ply it!
Erin: Fire him. No. Show mercy.
Michael: A lot of people say, that if you dig long enough and hard enough, you will get to China. And that may be true. But what they don’t tell you is that if you dig long enough and hard enough in a conversation, you get to a friend. So here is to conversation. Raise your cups on high.
Dwight: They say the best vampires don’t bleed their victims dry.
Dwight: I was not motivated by compassion. I have no compassion. Make sure you got that. “Not motivated by compassion.”
Darryl (reading text on phone): “Come to parking lot. Crazy pigeon action.”
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Without a single doubt my favorite episode of S7. It was just so incredibly well-scripted. PLEASE HAVE CHARLES MCDOUGALL DIRECT MORE EPISODES!!!
Dare I say that this is one of the best episodes of The Office EVER?
I loved every single second of China. The way the characters interacted with each other – specially the Pam and Dwight (and Nate) plot – was intriguing and it kind of felt like the older days of The Office. The episode was amazing from cold open to the pigeon scene with Andy and Darryl at the end.
I really want to see more from the guys that wrote this episode.
Best part easily was when Dwight and Nate were in the car saying “Pam Pam Pam” and that random lady came up. “Ive been known to bend the truth..” Too funny
Tanster, are you loving this one as much as everybody else?
[from tanster: yes, i did enjoy it!]
Loved this episode! Dwight proves he has a heart just when we least expect it. Also, Michael being the smartest guy in the office was priceless. My son thought the pigeon scene with Darryl and Andy was the funniest thing ever.
Perfect episode! Absolutely classic Office! Thank you to the writers for getting it so right :)
Just watched this onDemand, and thought it was wonderful. Seemed like a slice of life of the small moments of TO, with every character written to perfection. Nothing much to add except kudos to the Jim and Pam stairwell scene (touching but not sappy) and to Dwight all throughout. And the toilet paper re-plying scene.
I’m surprised so many people liked this episode. I thought it was really bland. While I LOVE that Oscar got more screen time (he’s one of my fav characters), this was just a really dull episode. Not sure what everyone means by it felt like season 2…I’m watching season 2 now actually and this episode is NOTHING like the brilliance of season 2! Overall, major disappointment. 2/10.
@105 Anthony. I also found Zombie Soccer… It’s quite awesome.
Great episode. But on a slightly related note, after I watched this I found Zombie Soccer online, and wasted half an hour on it.
Especially liked Dwight yelling at the other Pam, that scene deserves more recognition.
Agreed with all the previous posts about it being one of the best (if not the best) of season 7. The Dwight/Pam storyline reminded of the time Dwight had a concussion and acted so sweetly to Pam (who was being very motherly anyway).
While I liked the cold open, it kinda felt too much like the recent cold opening when everyone was sneezing on Dwight’s food. It would’ve also been a great chance to have a cold opening with a character that didn’t get much action in the episode (or who hasn’t really had his/her own cold opening), like Gabe.
Pam: Hey, guys. Can I show you some pictures?
Andy: Omygod. She’s so cute. She looks like both of y-
Pam: They’re not of CeCe.
Andy: Oh, cool.
It sometimes itches when my favorite quote doesn’t make the cut.
Great episode! Great season!!!
husband’s exact words, “I LOVE it when THE OFFICE is about nothing.” Thank you Office writers for a fabulous episode. It did our bodies good!
Wasn’t able to catch the episode until today since I work at nights now, and to be honest I wasn’t looking forward to it too much. I’m so glad I was wrong.
This was the best episode of the season. It had some pretty funny character moments, and while I don’t really like it when the Office gets overly sappy JAM-wise, this episode almost made me teary. Pam confessing her feelings to Jim and Dwight shooting himself in the foot for her was amazing. That, plus the fact everyone was so supportive and protective of Michael (Ryan too, pleasant surprise)was really sweet.
Jim was great in the cold open and failed to be annoying, Creed and parlay, Andy and Darryl…there wasn’t one part I didn’t love.
Bravo writers. This was a solid 10, for sure.
This episode wasn’t anything great but it was good. A whole lot better than “Christening.” All I can say is I can’t wait for the next episode.
@Hanley – But Jim is smug in the most charming way possible. So all is forgiven!
Jim calling Oscar smug – take a look at yourself, bro!
Dwight’s face when he overheard Pam in the stairwell was so touching. I’ve always really loved the Dwight/Pam friendship dynamic, and I think they really nailed it in this episode.
Very pleasantly surprised with “China”; 8/10
This episode was not very funny at all. The only kind of funny part was Ed Helms texting Darryl. Dwight was good at the end. I love when his character breaks and he shows just a small bit of compassion.
Not much to add to the overwhelmingly positive reviews. I did not know they still had an episode like this in them. There have been some good episodes this season, but they knocked it out of the park with this one. I guess you can’t judge an episode from its summary.