The Office: Koi Pond, 6.08

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Writers: Warren Lieberstein and Halsted Sullivan
Director: Reggie Hudlin

Summary (NBC): It’s Halloween and the office plans a “Haunted House” for the children in the community. And at an important business meeting, Michael falls into a koi pond. Pam and Andy go cold calling to drum up more sales.

Michael Scott Falls In The Koi Pond

The Office Koi Pond: Michael roasts himself

The Office Koi Pond extras

The Office Koi Pond rating

In a poll conducted October 29-November 2, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.75/10

See all The Office Season 6 ratings.

The Office Koi Pond quotes

Michael: Join your gangster pumpkin on his pallet truck of doom.

Darryl: This is a surgery with an octopus and a burn victim.

Darryl: Label yourselves or take what you get.

Jim: Yes, I am the popular social networking site known as Bookface.

Michael: Why is Christmas the only holiday that can have a message?

Michael: Who wants candy?

Michael: I can’t believe it’s yogurt.

Michael: Why would you date an amateur when you could date a professional?

Michael: Let me go get your stroller.

Michael: This is not the phone, this is real life, baby, and you gotta own it.

Jim: He’s trying to micro co-manage me. Or … co-micromanage me.

Andy: Now my head hurts. Feels like I held in a sneeze.

Michael: Jim and I got caught in a little flash rain, flash wind, flash lightning.

Meredith: I don’t think it rained. My hip would be throbbing.

Andy: Looks like somebody’s got a case of the “definitelys.”

Oscar: Did Michael fall into a koi pond?

Michael: I’m not going to bump, and it was not hilarious.

Jim: Truthfully, it wasn’t the way he fell in, it was how long it took him to get out.

Andy: My girlfriend, on a scale of 1 to Gisele, uh, a 9.

Andy: We put our baby in Pam. It doesn’t matter what Pam looks like.

Stanley: Michael, don’t listen to them. You just ignore their carping.

Dwight: They’re mocking you with wordplay!

Creed: Hey boss, did you find Nemo?

Oscar: Don’t you mean, ‘Koi Story’?

Phyllis: When you fell in, did you flounder?

Michael: I’m not usually the butt of the joke. I’m usually the face of the joke.

Michael: Who here has been koi ponded?

Andy: I love to dance …
Pam: … I love to watch him dance!

Phyllis: So now you’re comparing yourself to a cute, tiny animal?

Creed: Who’s your worm guy?

Andy: Omigosh, like a little magical foot just high-fived me!

Andy: Message received, little soybean.

Jim: I am a big, stupid goofball.

Michael: I just wanna say that I cannot believe that I walked into a koi pond. I mean, seriously. Walk much? Oh. I should wear a snorkel to the next business meeting that I go to.
Phyllis: Michael. You know, when you think about it, it’s not all your fault. I mean, who puts a koi pond in a lobby?
Michael: Well, you know what? You’re right, Phyllis, but I’ve been there before. I’ve seen that pond. This is the thing, I am a world class moron. That’s the problem.
Dwight: Michael, please. Stop it now. You’re embarrassing yourself.
Michael: It’s okay. We’re having fun. It’s actually not the first time I’ve been embarrassed by a pond. In high school, the girls volleyball team always used to throw me into the frozen lake. Four years in a row. Oh… it was freezing. No. No. No. Oh, this is even worse. Couple weeks ago, I went to get a new cell phone and I wanted one of those packages where you have the five, you know, the friends, friends and family thing, and the guy was like, “who are your five friends?” and I’m, like, “uh…,” I didn’t even know, I couldn’t even think. Oh my god, it was so embarrassing. I don’t even have Jan’s cell phone number, and I hate her! She won’t give it to me. I was like, “oh, I guess I’m a loser.” A loooooze-er. Too far! God! Thanks a lot, man. Thanks for the advice.

Kevin: Enjoying your nut?

Andy: Going by the Nard Dog curve, I’d say we nailed it!

Andy: I gotta get my goin’ out on.

Kevin: No, use QuickTime. Trust me, I’ve done this.

Jim: It’s a killer new dance move.

Dwight: Jim is my enemy, but it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy. So actually Jim is my enemy. But …

Michael: Jim is jealous of me? Jim is jealous of me.

Erin: He’s like the coolest person I’ve ever met.

Pam: I actually do mean Marlon Wayans. Yeah.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.


  1. so i feel like everyone else is going to have hated this episode because i feel like my opinion is always the minority… but i ABSOLUTELY LOVED that. the jim/michael dynamic was hilarious and there were some AMAZING lines. wow. 9/10. fantastic.

  2. Decent show, kinda meh…some nice laughs just no huge laughs for me.

    Creed: “who’s your worm guy?”

    Michael: “Dammit he’d still look good”

    Sex with a terrorist!

  3. I’m sad. This is the first Office episode EVER that I didn’t laugh. At all. It just wasn’t funny. I WANTED to like it…but I couldn’t. I tried.

  4. I loved the costumes and that Darryl could not identify everyone’s costume. Everyone mocking each other was hilarious. Anyone notice that Erin’s name was on the marker board? I didn’t know Erin thought so highly of Andy. Sounds like they need to go on a date.

  5. Koi Pond was great!! It really reminded me of old-school Office humor. I love the Pam/Erin animosity lol

  6. I loved the Pam/Andy interaction pretty solid episode. Did anyone else find Stanley’s outfit weird..the sweater?

  7. Great episode! Now, I want to see Jim do what Andy did to Pam! I haven’t seen him mention the baby since Gossip!

  8. I would’ve liked to see more of the haunted warehouse, it looked awesome! Loved everyone’s costumes too! Did anyone else find Andy’s baby talk creepy? If I was Pam I would’ve slapped him! I would NOT want my coworkers kissing my belly and touching it in the middle of a BUSINESS meeting!

  9. I wish the haunted house was longer… so many costumes were under-used. Like Oscar’s Killer Sarah Palin and Pam’s Rosemary?! Where were they? Hopefully there will be some deleted scenes on this. Darryl as the “gangster pumpkin!”

    Overall, I loved the episode. I felt like it was really funny, but had some sweet moments too.

  10. I love this episode! The cold open was great! I wish there was more Halloween stuff, the costumes were so great, shame it was all done only for one scene. I love the Michael/Jim relationship. I felt bad for Andy when he was talking to Pam in the car about being single, and I like how Pam started talking up Andy to Erin. Lots of LOL moments during the episode. I really am loving this whole season! And OMG did you all see the fake Mose during the cold open? Brilliant!

  11. Pam and Andy, weird. Halloween just as the cold open, annoying. Not seeing Pam in the cold open as Mia Farrow, irritating. Jim leaning back as Michael grasped for help, stupid.

    The only thing good about this episode was Pam was showing. That was really cute.

    Also: “I outran it” was hilarious.

  12. This is the real Office. No sappy Jim/Pam garbage. Pure, great awkward humor with character driven jokes.

    10 out of 10.

  13. I started watching this episode tonight, but I had to turn it off not even 5min into it. Having recently lost my brother to suicide, I found Michael’s “staged suicide” extremely disturbing to watch. Shame on “The Office” for being so insensitive to the loved ones left when someone dies of suicide. I already have to deal with hearing the occasional suicide “joke” made in the media, but to actually see the “hanging”…on what used to be my favorite show…it makes me sick.

  14. Sad that the Halloween stuff was only the cold open. Didn’t really laugh at this one. Them being mean to each other is getting old now.

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