W: Danny Chun, D: Greg Daniels
Summary (NBC): Michael’s world is rocked by troubling rumors about Dunder Mifflin. He forces the office into a day of strange diversions, upsetting Jim and leading others to wonder if Michael has gone insane. Meanwhile, Andy finds that his chief obstacle in courting Erin is his own awkwardness.
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- Check out OfficeTally’s exclusive ‘Murder’ Q&A with writer Danny Chun!
- The Office lolcat inspired by ‘Murder.’
Jim: As we all know, the one thing that thousand-year-old martial arts do all the time is change.
Dwight: You are all members of the yakuza, and you happen to be visiting the Lackawanna Trolley Museum. And you are attacked by triads. How can you hold them off until your clan arrives?
Dwight: You cannot go wrong with a throat punch.
Kevin: Last time you pulled my pants down and then you tried to choke me with my shoelace.
Jim: The most worthy opponent of you is you.
Dwight: We always have what is called the element of surprise.
Michael: You’ll have to be more specific, Dwight. I get like eight emails a day.
Erin: Your feelings journal? You told me to put it in the time capsule.
Dwight: You can all have jobs at Schrute Fams. As human scarecrows. It doesn’t pay much, and you can’t unionize.
Michael: I’ll catch you on the flippity-flip!
Michael: Just poopin’, you know how I be.
Michael: Crazy world, lotta smells.
Andy: It is time for the Nard Dog to take matters into his own paws.
Michael: Oh god, I can’t think! I need more Mullins.
Michael: Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey pee all over you.
Jim: All right! Let’s conference room it up!
Jim: I only slack off when things are good.
Dwight: He needs me. Seat-save infinity.
Michael: There’s been a murder! There’s been a murder … in Savannah.
Michael: “Battleship” got me through my parents’ divorce. “Operation” got me through my vasectomy.
Meredith: “Belles, Bourbon, and Bullets — A Murder Mystery Dinner Party Game.”
Michael: Tube City. You owe me one.
Michael: If you talk slowly in real life, your character could, say, have been kicked in the head by a horse.
Angela: “Voodoo Mama Juju — the witch doctor of the Savannah swamps.”
Michael: Delta Burke, I do declare.
Meredith: Nice accent. You sound like Forrest Gump.
Andy: What you really want is more of a Savannah accent, which is more like molasses, just sort of spillin’ out of your mouth.
Kevin: He lives on Sesame Street, dumbass.
Angela: It’s not my fault. I was exposed to Harry Potter.
Dwight: I know the killer to be Phyllis, aka Beatrix Bourbon, the person I most medium suspect.
Meredith: How ’bout a threesome?
Angela: Hey everyone. Kevin’s going to give us his take on the situation. Let’s listen up!
Dwight: A lot of the evidence seemed to be based on puns.
Pam: Which is worse, snapped or stuck?
Meredith: I’m the dead body and these are my brain chunks.
Dwight: Hey shut up, you’re dead.
Jim: Well, there is some bad news. There has been another murder.
Michael: Today is the hardest I have worked in a long, long time.
Pam: It wasn’t me. I’m not goin’ down for this!
Jim: Yeah, I want to go home.
Pam: Get the keys out of my purse, start the car.
In a poll conducted November 12-16, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.36/10