W: Warren Lieberstein and Halsted Sullivan, D: Paul Lieberstein
Summary (NBC): The press finds out that Sabre’s printers catch on fire. Jo (guest star Kathy Bates) shows up to the office in hopes of finding out who the whistleblower is. Everyone suspects Andy, who adamantly denies he leaked the information.
Icon provided by pessimistreader.
Michael: Michael Scott, as seen on TV.
Packer: I saw you on the news, and I want to pinch your tiny weiner.
Michael: We cannot let the pedophile win again.
Michael: Get it up. That’s what…
Michael: Really? A baby otter? Okay, count me in as “who cares?”
Phyllis: Put your hand up, Norma Rae.
Andy: The Bernards, for generations, have silenced whistleblowers. It’s how we made all our money.
Andy: Old Mr. Bernard, old Mr. Bernard, who have you silenced today?
Michael: We should give them a one-way ticket to Montego Bay. Where they keep all the Al-Qaeda.
Dwight: Apache persuasion hold, that’s the hell.
Kevin: Sometimes I run. I’m a runner.
Michael: And like I’m going to believe one of his spermed lovers.
Dwight: I don’t want to waste your time and I wouldn’t dare waste mine.
Jo: You turning that money into more money?
Dwight: Are you referring to alchemy?
Dwight: I’m not dumb. I’m smart.
Darryl: I think she could sense my sadness.
Darryl: She was a copy editor at the Trib.
Michael: Was she cute?
Michael: And if that is not poetic justice, I don’t know what is.
Toby: Write your own damn novel.
Jim: This is good. Let’s get all the bad ideas out now. Flush ‘em out.
Michael: My mind is going a mile an hour.
Pam: That fast?
Pam: I weirdly know exactly what you’re saying to me.
Michael: We need to brainstorm. We need to get out of this. Brain hurricane.
Michael: Hey, hey, it’s as interesting as a morgue.
Kelly: I video chat, I Skype, I text, I tweet, I phone, I woof.
Erin: Ryan, you have a woof on line 1.
Michael: That’s just what we need, another black man in prison.
Dwight: Basement office? You mean like a lair?
Michael: I was up all lunch thinking about what we should do to this individual.
Jo: Michael Scott, what do you know?
Michael: Are you going to kill me?
Michael: I have an early dinner that I need to get to… with the chief of police.
Creed: I’m very relieved to learn it wasn’t you.
Gabe: What a rich timbre your voice has.
Michael: My favorite restaurant closed down. My new favorite restaurant sucks. BIG BIG
Michael: It’s not been a blockbuster year for me financially. My Blockbuster stock is down.
David: I am here to talk about “Suck It!”
Creed: I think we can all agree that it’s either Gabe or Angela.
Creed: It’s Angela. Get her, boys.
Nick: You guys have 15 parties a week. You can’t learn my name?
Dwight: Inner city kids use computers for two things: games and porn. So good luck wasting your life. Lurch.
Nick: Darryl, man, you’re on Facebook. Why have you been telling people you’re not on Facebook. People want to be your friend, man.
Jo: Oh honey, surely you don’t want that.
Michael: I surely do, and don’t call me honey. Airplane 2.
Dwight: Pretty soon, you will be on your feet. Like Buckingham Palace.
Michael: There will be no questions. Are there any questions?
Michael: Hey, you could transfer Holly back from Nashua.
In a poll conducted May 20-24, Tallyheads rated this episode: 6.52/10