The Office: Christmas Wishes, 8.10

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The Office: Christmas Wishes

Writer: Mindy Kaling, Director: Ed Helms

Summary (NBC): Andy grants everyone’s holiday wishes — Andy tries to make this year’s Christmas the best ever by granting each person’s holiday wishes. Meanwhile, Robert California tries to drown his sorrows at the office party.

The Office Christmas Wishes extras

The Office Christmas Wishes rating

In a poll conducted December 8-12, 2011, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.30/10

See all The Office Season 8 ratings.

The Office Christmas Wishes quotes

Quotes manually transcribed by tanster. :)

Stanley: I’ve been here 18 years and have suffered through some weird thematic Christmases. A Honolulu Christmas, a Pulp Fiction Christmas, a Muslim Christmas, Moroccan Christmas, Mo Rocca Christmas, I don’t want it. Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas!

Jim: I got Stanley tickets to see Lewis Black for his birthday. Might not have been the best idea.

Creed: Hey, what’s Ruth’s deal, man?
Andy: Totally out of your league.

Andy: Mistletoe is not an excuse for sexual assault.

Erin: We don’t even need to meet, you know? I already love you. Stay home.

Robert: Happy Pancha Ganapati.

Robert: I feel like a kitten being cradled by a gorilla.

Robert: I’m so tired of the Black Eyed Peas. It’s rock and roll for people who don’t like rock and roll. It’s rap for people who don’t like rap. It’s pop for people who don’t like pop.

Jim: Kathy wants to leave our clump?

Dwight: The weak always bully the strong. Contrary to what you see in the media.

Andy: I’m going to speak in a language you both understand. Monet.

Andy: You need consequences. I want you both walking on eggshells.

Andy: My ex is meeting my sex. Which is always scary.

Andy: I hope you’re not talking about my penis.

Andy: I want you to meet Jessica. She is an assistant cross country coach at Bryn Mawr.

Andy and Jessica: Spontaneous scoliosis.

Val: Isn’t that just for popsicles?
Darryl: Popsicles?
Val: Yeah, upstairs people, ’cause you got a stick up your butt.

Nate: You had me at cookies. I can’t wait to find out what they are!

Jim: Dwight really wants my bonus. He’s trying to entrap me. Oh god, now I can’t drink at this thing. I get really pranky when I drink.

Erin: Jiminy Christmas!

Darryl: I meant dressed up compared to normal. You usually dress like a ghost buster.

Darryl: It’s good for people to get to know you.
Val: As a contestant on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ maybe.

Erin: I want my sugar-free cookie. And then I want a sugar cookie. And then I want my nap.

Toby: This sounds a lot like the premise of my latest Chad Flenderman novel. A Murder For Framing.

Toby: Chad Flenderman. Just an easygoing black guy who knows the streets. Yet he also went to Oxford. Just as comfortable on a motorcycle as he is on Air Force One. He’s also the world’s leading Egyptologist.

Angela: No. Porcupines don’t have souls. They’re like dogs.

Jim: Were you quilled?
Dwight: Yes, I was quilled.
Jim: And what’s its name?
Dwight: Henrietta.

Erin: I’m going to go do another reverse spit. That’s how the cool kids say “get a drink.”

Kevin: I don’t want to put you out, but if someone’s making oatmeal, I’ll take an apple cinnamon and a maple brown sugar in one bowl with whole milk.

Erin: I said I wish Jessica was dead. I wish she was in a graveyard. Under the ground. With worms coming out of her mouth.

Erin: So which one are you? A murderer or a liar?

Kevin: Hey. So there was talk of oatmeal.

Andy: Do you think two friends who are not sleeping together can stay friends?

Andy: Christmas miracles do happen.
Jim: Yes, they totally do.

Ryan: You can’t click on these Kardashian links. That’s why you have so many viruses.

Erin: Kelly.
Kelly: Yo.
Erin: Game on.
Kelly: On it.

Kelly: Jessica, did you just fart?

Kelly: And that is how it’s done.

Erin: I would like another alcohol.

Oscar: Oh, this is daunting. I need a mortar, pestle, muddler. Does anyone have any chocolate shavings?

Creed: Whoa. We got a real Clarence Thomas here.

Dwight: What are we going to do with all that bonus money, Henrietta, huh?

Andy: Meredith, shut your drunk hole right now.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.


  1. Item 1: No Jenna Fischer in the episode cast list. Makes me a bit sad. :(

    Item 2 (speculation to follow): Robert “drowns his sorrows”…leads me to believe (think I saw this in an early spoiler) that things won’t end well with Mrs. California on the Dec. 1 episode. Which, of course, could lead to his fling with Nellie when Catherine Tate comes back.

    Looking forward to this, the Christmas episodes are among my top favorites of the series!

  2. Of course Pam will be in this episode. A Christmas episode of the show would suck if she is not around. Besides, it’s the first Xmas episode without Michael, who has always appeared in every one of them; well, not anymore. Let’s focus on Andy leading Christmas in the office for the first time in his life, as a manager, and let’s see how hard he’s gonna work for it.

  3. Mindy tweeted that she’s wrote the episode and that Ed Helms is directing the episode. Can’t wait for this episode, wanna see what a great director Ed is. And I know he will be a good one

  4. I think Robert California is a great character, but I was under the impression that he wouldn’t be in every single episode, which I would have liked.

  5. the fact that mindy is writing it already has me intrigued. if it’s at least half as good as classy christmas it’ll still be amazing.

  6. Why is Robert California always in Scranton? Isn’t Sabre’s headquarters in Tallahassee, Florida?

    Unless he turns out to be the Scranton Strangler…his role on the show is dumb and pointless.

  7. Yeah, we were told that Robert would only be in 15 episodes. Either he will be absent most of the second half or the season, which I’d like honestly, or they changed their mind on 15.

  8. I’m glad to see that others would like less Robert. He’s not really doing it for me and he’s kind of putting a damper on my favorite show. He makes everybody in the office act dumb which is so painful to watch (and not in the good way it used to be painful to watch Michael talk to Phyllis about getting a boner).

  9. ugh! I could do with less Robert California too. All he really does is hover around the office and make everyone start acting insane.
    Also, I don’t think Jenna is going to be in any of these ‘upcoming’ episodes, since they were filming once she was on maternity leave (I’m guessing if she is it will be briefly, or possibly something they could have pre-filmed).

    ps – I’d love for Robert to be the Scranton Strangler, it would explain so much (Or Gabe, he’s a little out there too)

  10. I just hope Jenna is in this one, even if it is only briefly. Anybody know? Her presence would be missed greatly from a Christmas episode.

    I enjoy Mindy’s writing most of the time, as long as there’s no blood involved this time! I love the episode premise.

  11. I am enjoying James Spader, but the writers don’t seem to know what to do with RobCal. It seems every episode they are changing the tenor of Robert. I keep hoping they get him figured out soon so Spader can settle into the character, and the show can move forward. Unfortunately I am not enjoying Andy as RM; I liked him much better as a salesman.

  12. Rob Cal isn’t so much the problem as is Andy trying to impress everyone. Out of the 8 episodes so far, 5 or 6 have been about Andy needing approval. Let’s ditch this story-arc and get back to some good ol’ fashioned office. Where’s Toby? Where’s Ryan and Kelly? And Creed? Has he had a speaking role this season? I watch The Office, not The Andy Bernard Needy Hour.

  13. My Christmas wish is less Andy as the focus of the show and more balanced interaction with the ensamble. Of course it’s a given I would love lots of JAM!

  14. @Karen – I wish I was Santa, because I’d love to make your wish come true! I’d even throw in less Robert lurking around the office for no apparent reason.

  15. Mindy’s writing has gotten a little darker of late – Jim and Dwight’s snowball war, Michael’s Last Dundies. I hope she continues in this vein and gives us something really strong and original.

    I can’t wait. And, yes, everyone is right – it wouldn’t be Christmas without Pam so I hope she drops by.

  16. @Waller, I agree…she did seem to be hitting on Dwight! Dwight and then Andy, it is no wonder Robert was desperately determined for her not to work at the office. Either that or judging by the deleted talking head he was ready for this marriage to be over.????

  17. It’s written by Mindy Kaling!! She did the last 2 Christmas episodes and those were the best of their seasons!! Excited!!

  18. Excited for the Christmas episode ! My wish is less Robert California and Andy , more Jim and Dwight !

  19. Should be good. I think I would like to see more of Mrs California and less of Mr. She should be running the Office ! And why is the staff so scared of him. I mean after putting up with Michael he should be a piece of Cake.

  20. I thought this cold open was incredibly ironic considering the Lincoln Chafee “Holiday Tree” thing up here in RI – I don’t know if you guys have seen FOX News and/or Jon Stewart recently. Can’t wait to see how this episode turns out!

  21. As a Season 8 episode, this was above average, but as a Christmas episode this was pretty sub-par…

    I did LOVE the Transsiberian Orchestra part, and the Jim-Dwight storyline was gold, but drunk Erin felt a bit too sitcommy, and Andy’s girlfriend was unbelievably bland

    The Darryl/Val story was a nice bit too, short, sweet, and not too overbearing. I wish they had left some potential in the Robert/Erin story, it would have been a bit of progress in this stagnating season.
    As usual, the inter-office gifts were just great, but the noticeable absence of Pam was still quite felt..
    One more bit – “Someone get me a mortar and pestle!” – Oscar (:

    overall, 7.5/10

  22. I LOVED this episode. Ellie was hilarious! I loved how she was being overly nice to Jessica and then told Andy, “I wish she were dead in the ground and worms were crawling out of her mouth.” It’s just so true to life! I also loved the musical montage. I think my parents own that Christmas music Dwight loves…oh boy…And I’m so glad nothing happened with Robert California and Erin. I was nervous. My stomach actually hurt a little.

  23. Excellent!!!!! Not bad for a Christmas episode without Michael and Pam at the same time. It’s understandable that it is the first XMas episode without Michael. It also kinda sucks not to see Pam on the show because of her maternity leave (that concurs with Jenna Fischer’s real-life pregnancy), like last week. It’s so good to see Dwight and Jim messing with each other again. And the Andy/Erin scenes were amazing, specially when Erin was drunk after seeing Andy’s new girlfriend. Awesome. I can take every Michaelless episode, but don’t give any more Pamless episodes, please.

  24. So Jim and Pam were the heart of this show for how many years? Now they can’t even mention that they’ ve had a baby? Sadly this isn’t the show I fell in love with. Too much Andy being the exact Michael replacement.

  25. Loved tonight’s episode. I missed pam and can’t wait to see her back but it was another well written episode by mindy. Loved the black eyed peas reference/ryan’s nod. Another well written episode by mindy. Great Job

  26. One of the best episodes ever!!! Erin is really a great and lovely character! I HEART THIS EPISODE!

  27. So this was a really good episode even without Pam. Loved it. The best part definitely being the Jim and Dwight rivalry, i could watch those 2 go at it like that for hours. Dwight’s air guitar and the cold open were also great. There was A LOT to laugh at. Thank you Mindy!

    (And while i did find drink Erin pretty funny, it was a bit too much of her and the Andy/Erin focus for my liking, just imo)

  28. am i the only one who didn’t like this episode? i thought drunk erin came off as super annoying, i didn’t get the whole “christmas wishes” thing, and i don’t understand why robert california is always in scranton if he took over jo’s job of running the ENTIRE company. it would have made more sense to put him in a jan/ryan/charles kind of regional position. but, again, i seem to be the only person that didn’t like it, so…. i don’t know.

  29. I laughed so hard in this episode! Good one tonight! Thanks Mindy for writing up a great Christmas episode!


  30. Very entertaining episode. Only problem, the cold opening made no sense whatsoever. I’m an Australian viewer, so is there something I should be filled in on or was it like this for everyone?

  31. Solid Christmas episode; not the best one, but very good. A lot of great lines.

    I really think they should have mentioned Pam having the baby at some point in the last two episodes. They said she was on maternity leave, but that doesn’t mean the baby was born. It just seems odd that it didn’t even get a line. And Pam should have been on the show – either her voice through a call, or skype.

    Also, Dwight falling asleep at this desk and Jim writing on his forehead? Very unlikely he would go to sleep during a party when he’s been vigilantly trying to catch Jim in a prank.

  32. For those who still question why Robert California continues to appear in the Scranton office, it’s obvious that he has a huge ego and LOVES the camera…this was made apparent by his initial appearance in “Search Committee”.

  33. Ok. This was a good episode. I loved all the interaction between the cast. Dwight’s Trans Siberian music kept me laughing. However, I wonder if Cathy’s one line in Pam’s Replacement is all she is going to say for her appearances. Because, as far as I remember, Cathy hasn’t said anything.

  34. Jenna you are not alone. I didn’t like this ep either. The more time Erin gets, the less she appeals to me. And Erin drunk was annoying, I agree. Liked Dwight and Jim prank scenes. Andy is an exact Michael. I thought they were going to make him act different. Not many laughs last night.

  35. #38, you are not alone. I didn’t like this one at all. I just don’t like Erin and Andy and wish they would move away from the will they, won’t they. I feel no chemistry or heart with these two so it doesn’t work for me.

  36. I really liked this episode, but they really really really need to turn down the Erin/Andy thing.

    I also did miss Pam. They could have at least had her on the phone with Jim like they did when she went to NYC. Oh and I agree, where is the mention of the baby?

    Now that I think about it, Andy had his date, where was the State Senator?

  37. I was unimpressed. I was expecting a much more “Christmassy” Christmas episode. I didn’t even smile at the cold open! Drunk Erin dragged on too long and Andy’s girlfriend=zzzz. Oh and Pam had a baby yesterday and there’s no mention of it? Something’s off.

  38. Terrific episode by Mindy Kaling! Really enjoyed Ed Helms’ direction as well. The characters all seemed to really be themselves in this episode…no one was in any way out of character. We are still getting to know Robert California and it was nice to see Robert can be rather cuddly (at least when given a few drinks). All and all a great Christmas episode!!!

  39. A wonderful episode (Kevin was my favourite – he just knows how to celebrate Christmas). And a great night of television overall on NBC – I’m actually starting to feel Christmas-y!

  40. First episode this season to get a good laugh out of me. Thank goodness, I was really starting to get bummed. Better character writing this episode – most characters had a few lines (except Gabe, yay!) which has been rare this season. Loved the gift-giving scenes, and the guys rocking out to TSO brought the house down! I like drunk Erin MUCH more than strange, sober Erin. Cold open was a waste of minutes, but maybe if I watched some Lewis Black I would “get it” more. And I’m with y’all, it is a bit odd no reference of P&J’s new baby, but I suppose they can’t cram it all in. Hoping for better episodes like this for the rest of the season!

  41. Two solid episodes in a row. It seems like the momentum is building for the second half of the season to be much better than the first half.
    I still think that Robert California adds nothing to the show and should be replaced by David Wallace.

  42. My Christmas wish is that Mindy writes every Christmas episode. Every single member of the cast made me laugh tonight. Great Job.

  43. As a viewer, I found it pretty insulting that, after dedicating so many seasons to Pam’s personal growth and causing so many viewers to become invested in her character, they couldn’t even be bothered to mention that she gave birth. Really now? A 5.5 season long character arc, and the announcement of the birth of her second child is relegated to a blog that everyone forgot about two years ago?

    Also. Yeah there were some laughs, but it was flat. Pam and Michael are/were the emotional centers of this show, and episodes without either of them are not enjoyable. The current writers are clearly trying to push Andy and Erin as the new center, but why should I care? The show has given me zero reasons to care about these people.

  44. Loved loved loved the episode! I am starting to like Robert California a lot actually. Pam was sorely missed, but I thought it was cute that she was mentioned with Dwight “prank”-sending her flowers. And I agree that Mindy should write every episode!! I just have to be a dork and point out that Bryn Mawr College (where Jessica is the Assistant Cross-Country Coach) is nowhere near Scranton. It’s just outside of Philadelphia; a 2 1/2 hour drive from Scranton. They easily could’ve said that she was a coach for U. of Scranton, or another school that’s close by.

  45. Great episode–so much better than last week! Strong work by the whole cast, and I wish Mindy could write every episode.

  46. Chad Flenderman novel! Ha ha ha! What a great bit – I hope it wasn’t just a throwaway moment for Toby but something he’ll continue to discuss. There were so many hilarious small moments and lines in this episode – I was laughing my head off through the whole thing. I loved the great relevant humor,and thought this was a wonderful Christmas episode.

  47. @Janet Jim didn’t write IDIOT on Dwight’s forehead. Dwight did it so everyone would think Jim did it. Just like how Dwight spray painted his own car with Jim’s name on it. The fact that Jim never told Dwight that Andy called off the whole thing with their Christmas bonuses makes this probably the most genius prank ever!

  48. #41: Dwight wasn’t actually asleep at his desk… He wrote IDIOT on his forehead himself, and was trying to frame Jim for another prank (but unbeknownst to him, Andy decided NOT to mess with their bonuses so Dwight truly DID look like an idiot!)

    I liked that a Jim/Dwight prank (or… series of pranks) was once again central to an episode, and I’m really liking warehouse Val (it’s nice to have a new character who’s relatable and not super eccentric)

  49. On the fence with the episode! Drunk Jim and Pam from last year overshadows drunk Erin! Keep the Nate coming is all I can say!

    One question: Who’s the actress that played Jessica? Looks familiar… also Andy’s valentine from last year was to be played by an Office writer according to s7 DVD commentary…

  50. Best episode of the season by far! So funny! Mindy Kaling is the best writer, her episodes are always so funny! Everyone was really funny and the Dwight and Jim story was hilarious. Easily my favorite episode.

  51. Best episode in a really long time!! thumbs up for Mindy. I actually enjoyed it very much that Pam wasn’t there, because her character has turned predictable, insecure and boring lately.

  52. Great episode. Possibly Jim’s best prank ever. The whole cast just seemed to be ON FIRE – Meredith, Oscar, Stanley, Robert, Toby, Kevin, Kelly, Creed, and, of course, Dwight and Jim were all incredibly hilarious. If I had to rank the Office Christmas episodes this would come in 2nd to Secret Santa (also written by Mindy Kaling). So far, this season has followed the pattern of last season: the first few episodes were good, but they got a bit weaker after that, only for the last 2 episodes before Christmas to be great. 10/10 which I didn’t think to be possible without Michael. Mindy Kaling needs to write more!

  53. @55 Abbey, I think they intentionally picked a more distant location to explain why she hasn’t been around the office yet.

  54. It might be possible Pam hasn’t given birth yet. Some mothers go on maternity leave before they actually have the child, especially if there’s potential complications. Plus Jim’s little speech with Cece’s picture, I feel like he’d have mentioned he had TWO kids had Pam given birth.

  55. Very good (not great)episode with some laughs, but a few lackluster moments, too. The orchestra song felt so out of place IMO, but in a weird way, I still liked it. Beyond that, I agree Pam’s character has weakened over the years. Likewise, they should slow down Erin and Andy. That’s all opinion. Except for one thing: JIM’s BEST PRANK EVER? Not telling Dwight something is his best ever? Did you miss the magic beans? The CIA? The Benihana? Anything before s.6?

  56. Best Christmas episode! With the best Halloween episode as well this season is on track to be the best.

    They really need to add Ellie to the main cast.

    I definitely agree that Mindy is a great writer. Carrie is very good too.

  57. Good episode, but it seems like they cheaped out. No hour long Xmas episode, and did anybody notice the lack of snow outside?

  58. Easily one of the best office episodes of all time for me. I would have given it a 10 out of 10, but it was only a half hour :( should have kept every deleted scene.

  59. I miss Pam! TO is not the same without her. JAM are the heart and soul of the show!
    I hope the Andy/Erin “tension” dissolves soon. They are not the new JAM. Michael was right to set up Kevin and Erin, they are as alike as Michael and Holly! Erin and Kevin are best in small doses. Though I like Andy as RM, I’d like his screen time to be scaled back a tad to allow other characters to shine.
    Personally I’m rooting for team Dwangela. I hope they reunite soon.

  60. In spite of missing Pam, this was a funny episode. I loved the little throw-away lines from the ensemble. Like Oscar listing all the things he needs in order to bartend! Hilarious! Or Kevin with his complicated oatmeal request.(Sounds like something one of my kids would ask me for!) Robert California’s comment about the BEPs was funny, but then it became even funnier when we see Ryan taking it in as if it was an epiphany. Another great Mindy Kaling written episode.

  61. What a great episode!! With one of the best pranks ever. And i laughed a lot.

    I will say i hope they tone down the whole Erin and Andy thing, they tried, it didn’t work. No chemistry there. There doesn’t have to be another will they won’t they love story on the show. Keep Andy and Erin apart and i have no problem with them at all.

  62. It was ok. I really liked the anti-pranking as I’ll call it. I can’t fathom why they didn’t bother to mention Phillip being born. The blog was released Thursday saying she was in the hospital two days. So at the very latest he was born Tuesday. But the math works much better if he was born between Gettysburg and Mrs. California. And Jim said “maternity leave”. Where I work she’d have to already have the baby to take maternity leave. She could be on some other type of leave if she were still pregnant. Add that you can’t conceive in February and deliver in December. Even as late as after Gettysburg is difficult to believe. Need Pam back ASAP.

  63. No chemistry between Erin and Andy? Why would you say that? Chemistry does not have to be boring. Awkward chemistry is more fun. Bring it on!

  64. The Xmas song that Dwight played was theeeeee sh*t. Toooooo baaaaaaad. sing that aloud while listening. already got myself the song.

  65. I missed Pam. Stanley’s ranting and raving in the cold open was pretty funny. The anti-pranking thing was a nice subplot. Meh…

  66. “No chemistry between Erin and Andy? Why would you say that? Chemistry does not have to be boring.”

    Ummm, because they don’t and have never had any chemistry? You’re right though, chemistry shouldn’t be boring. Unfortunately, Andy and Erin together define boring.

  67. LOVED Robert California in this one – first episode I thought his character was exactly right. Jim/Dwight antics are always awesome…in fact, the only complaint I have is that the drunken confrontation went on a little too long. Other than that, far and away my favourite of the season. I’m in a really Christmassy mood now. :)

  68. robert – regarding gestation… yes you can absolutely conceive in february and deliver in december. babies can be overdue. exactly 40 weeks from 2/14/11 is 11/21/11, but many women can go up to 2 weeks “overdue”, which pushes (no pun intended) the pregnancy into december. a good friend of mine conceived shortly after valentine’s day this year, and she gave birth to her baby on december 5.

    just sayin’.

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