Writer: Jonathan Hughes, Director: Randall Einhorn
Summary (NBC): Michael thinks he impressed Jo only to discover someone else in the office caught her eye. Meanwhile, Dwight makes trouble on Jim’s first day back from paternity leave. Andy and Erin have an interesting first date. Guest stars: Kathy Bates, Zach Woods.
The Office St. Patrick’s Day extras
The Office St. Patrick’s Day rating
In a poll conducted March 11-15, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.94/10
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The Office St. Patrick’s Day quotes
Michael: Green M&Ms! Nature’s Viagara!
Michael: It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.
Dwight: Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass have been away on maternity leave.
Dwight: Getting hooked on Mega-Desk was my own damn fault. But … I don’t care about assigning blame. All I care about is Mega-Desk. That is all I care about. Getting. More. Mega-Desk.
Jo: My dogs love peein’ in that snow. Makes me think they’re on to something.
Michael: Good morning, honey pile.
Jo: We don’t get much coal down in Tallahassee. I mean, just alligators and some of the worst Chinese food you’ve ever tasted.
Michael: I don’t care if you’re a loser or you practice bestiality. If Jo likes you, you are in. And I am in.
Andy: Erin Go Bragh!
Erin: Andy Go Bragh to you!
Dwight: They say that no man is an island. False. I am an island, and this island is volcanic. And it is about to erupt with the molten hot lava of strategy.
Pam: I get the sense that she’s very ironic.
Jim: Oh, it’s tough being here for a lot of reasons.
Dwight: I thought my mother was my father and my wet nurse was my mother.
Dwight: Turned out fine for me but Mose, same story, different ending.
Kevin: Jo, I have an idea for suntan lotion soap.
Michael: Darryl. Mellow. Soulful. Smart for warehouse.
Michael: You know what, we’re going to tape that on the refrigerator in the kitchen.
Michael: In the spirit of fool disclosure.
Michael: Jo likes Michael, Jo invites Michael to house, Jo doesn’t like Michael anymore, mm.
Jo: How many knocks does it take to get you to do some work?
Jim: I’m not surprised that Dwight’s using my baby to steal my desk. I’m a little surprised that it’s working.
Andy: She’s still going to like me in a week. Right?
Jo: You’ll probably feel better once you get some pants on.
Michael: Does her family owe your family something, in terms of a past injustice?
Darryl: Now Mike, I have to ask you to leave, so that I can learn about this tiny television.
Jo: There’s chattin’ time and there’s workin’ time, and I’m still on workin’ time.
Michael: No, no, no, that’s super clearish.
Packer: What’s up, butt plug?
Packer: I’ve boot and rallied twice.
Packer: Hike up your skirt and pull out your tampon, borrow some balls and come meet me!
Packer: Maybe next queer!
Erin: I’m in my jammy jams.
Andy: That’s okay, I’m in my worky works.
Jo: You do it by working hard. Or marrying rich. And I did both.
Gabe: I will date when I’m dead!
Michael: As the Irish poet Bobby McFerrin said, “Don’t worry, be happy.”
Michael: What the hell’s going on back there?
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