3.18: Cocktails
Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
Written by: Paul Lieberstein
Summary (NBC): Michael and Jan go public with their relationship during a party at their CFO’s home. At the party, Jim meets Karen’s ex. Meanwhile, the rest of the office decides to go to happy hour for drinks. Directed by JJ Abrams.
Icon courtesy of _klotera at LiveJournal.
Tidbits
- Reviews: TV Guide | Entertainment Weekly
- How to play Up Jenkins
- Buy Cocktails at the iTunes Store
Favorite quotes
Michael: A lot of people think that magic camp is just for kids. And that’s why so many other people in my class were kids. Self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s really for anybody with a dream and a belief in magic, and a little extra time after school.
Michael: And now, Michael the Magic, will attempt to escape from extreme bondage.
Michael: Separately, on an unrelated note, if you happen to find a small brass key …
Michael: C’mon guys, early worm gets the worm.
Jim: Another worm? Like, are they friends?
Michael: Pam, would you smell my breath?
Pam: No. No.
Dwight: Let me smell.
Michael exhales loudly.
Dwight: Good, not great.
Michael: Tonight is so special because my boss’ boss’ boss, the CFO, not his initials, common mistake, is having a little shindig for all the managers in the company, and Jan and I are going as a couple, for the first time. So it’s kind of our coming out party, really. And that is why tonight is so special.
Michael: Jimbo, last chance carpool.
Jim: Why don’t I wanna go … didn’t expect to need a reason. So let me think here … I don’t know any of these people. It’s an obligation. I don’t like talking paper in my free time, (softly) or in my work time. And … did I use the word pointless?
Michael: Hey-wo, you!
Jan: Let’s just blow this party off.
Michael: That’s what she said!
Jan: Okay, let’s just go a motel and, like, rip into each other like we did on that black sand beach in Jamaica.
Pam: Hey. You have to come to stuff with me. I’m serious. If you’re going to be my boyfriend, you have to do boyfriend things.
Pam: I have decided that I’m going to be more honest. I’m going to start telling people what I want, directly. So, look out world, ’cause ol’ Pammie is getting what she wants. And don’t call me Pammie.
Dwight: You’re dressed exactly like the servants.
Dwight: Crisis averted.
Pam: That duck is so cute!
Michael: Actually, it’s polite to arrive early. And smart. Only really good friends show up early. Ergo de facto, go to a party early, become a really good friend.
Michael (whispering): It’s been sitting in my car all day. Sun beating down on the mayonnaise … just … you never know.
Pam: Kevin, you and Stacey set a date yet?
Kevin: Yeah.
Kelly: Omigod, when is it?
Kevin: It’s complicated. I would appreciate some space on this.
Kelly: You should get a round, Ryan.
Dwight: Oh you know that line on the top of the shrimp? That’s feces.
Jan: It releases the company in the event that our relationship in your opinion or in reality interferes with work. You get a copy, I get a copy, and a third copy goes to HR.
Michael: Awesome. I’m going to frame mine. I could frame yours, too.
Jan: You realize this is a legal document that says you can’t sue the company?
Michael: Over our love.
Jan: I never told you that I love you.
Michael: You don’t have to, Jan. This contract says it all.
Jan: I am taking a calculated risk. What’s the upside? I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self-loathing. Downside, I date Michael Scott publicly and collapse into myself like a dying star.
Jan: Why is this so hard? That’s what she said. Oh my god. What am I saying?
Michael: I love this woman!
Dwight: Do you ever watch Battlestar Galactica?
Party guest: No.
Dwight: No? Then you’re an idiot.
Michael: Rachel, boy, you clean up good.
Michael: Jan and I are lovers. I feel so good to finally say that out loud.
Karen: Yeah, I’m the only one left. Everybody else was either fired or quit. And there’s one in anger management.
Dwight: What’s the square footage?
David: About 5,000.
Dwight: Does that include the garage?
Michael: Dwight, that’s not appropriate.
David: I don’t know.
Dwight: It’s a common question.
Michael: David, how much did this house cost?
Dwight: Cool, let’s start with the banisters.
David: This was a gift from Lee Iacocca. 20-year old single malt Scotch.
Michael: Here’s to Mr. Iacocca, and his failed experiment, the DeLorean.
Michael (coughing): Do you have some ice?
David: Sure.
Michael: How ’bout some Splenda?
Roy: 1, 2, 3, up Jenkins!
Kevin: Good thing you didn’t listen to me.
Ryan: Yeah, close one.
Roy: I can read you like a book.
Pam: Oh yeah?
Roy: You can’t keep anything from me.
Creed: I run a small fake ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the sheriff’s station.
Dwight: These studs are way too far apart.
Dwight: Are those real pearls?
Karen: Well if you were wondering why his wife was staring daggers at me, it’s because I kind of saw him for a little bit when they were separated.
Michael: Wow, this one really smells like vanilla.
Michael: You would not believe how low this girl can limbo.
Michael: Why are we going in the bathroom? I thought this is where you liked your privacy.
Jan: Shut up.
Michael: What has gotten into you? No, no, no, no!
Jan: What?
Michael: Come on, let’s go back to the party.
Jan: Come on, wait, let me just do my dress.
Michael: Don’t take that — no! Stop it. Stop it. Jan, no, no, no, no!
Jan: Michael!
Michael: No means please don’t.
Jan: Slam me up against the wall, right here.
Michael: I’m not going to slam you against anything.
Jan: Oh please, I want you so –
Michael: You’re acting inapproriate.
Jan: I’m acting inappropriate? Forget it, get out of my way.
Pam: Hey, don’t you have a daughter?
Toby: Yes.
Dwight: Oh good, you’re up. Hey who makes this chair?
David’s son: I don’t know, it was here when I was born.
Dwight: Hmm. I want one. Really good solid construction. It’s comfortable. What is this? Oak?
David’s son: I don’t know.
Dwight: What do you know?
Jim: You stay here and have fun, ’cause I’m gonna go out back and shoot hoops with David Wallace.
Karen: Okay! Oh, don’t mention that you and I are dating, ’cause I think he may still have feelings for me.
Jim: Wallace? What the hell, have you dated like every guy here? (Karen laughs.) Wow. Okay. You got me.
Karen: I so got you.
Jim: So none of them?
Karen: Of course not. I mean, you’re kind of like, my first.
Jim: Really?
Karen: Omigod, it’s so easy …
Jim: Okay.
Karen: … it’s not even fun.
Karen: Hey Jan.
Jan: Not too good.
Michael: Rachel thinks that I brought homemade potato salad. And I just picked it up at the supermarket. It’s funny, I wish I could make potato salad that good. It’s just potatoes and mayonnaise. There’s something wrong with Jan.
David: What’s with Jan and Michael?
Jim: I don’t know. Where to begin …
Dwight: The chimney’s in decent shape. Not great. I found some termite damage in a crawlspace and some structural flaws in the foundation, so … all in all, it was a pretty fun cocktail party.
Roy: What?
Pam: I want us to make it. I want a fresh start.
Roy: That’s awesome. That’s what I want.
Pam: Okay, but in order for us to make it, there can’t be any secrets between us.
Roy: I didn’t do anything, ask anybody, I totally could have, but I didn’t at all.
Pam: Just listen. Remember that casino night, about a month before we were supposed to get married? I kissed Jim.
Roy: What?
Pam: He told me how he felt, and I guess I had feelings too, and we kissed.
Roy: Jim came on to you?
Pam: Just listen.
Roy: No, I am listening. That’s the problem, I’m listening!
Pam: Don’t yell!
Roy: Don’t yell?!
Pam: This is over.
Roy: Yeah, you’re right. This is so over. You kidding me, Pam? Come on!
Michael: Our first fight. If this is about what happened in the bathroom, there was no place to cuddle.
Jan: I feel sick.
Michael: You didn’t have any of the potato salad, did you?
Jan: You know, we were good when we were just running around. You know? In secret, it was wrong, and it was exciting, and maybe it was a mistake to take it public.
Michael: Well, if that’s the way you feel, my lady, then you have hurt me greatly.
Jan: Michael, please don’t cry.
Michael: I want the house, Jan, I want the picket fence, I want the ketchup fights, and the tickling, and the giggling.
Michael: I love you, Jan.
Jan: Okay.
Dwight: Don’t break up, you guys. You’re great together.
Roy: I’m gonna kill Jim Halpert.
Rating
Pages: 1 2
This was a fun one to see again. I loved Michael’s little monologue in the doorway where he initially talks about wishing he could make homemade potato salad, and then says, “something’s wrong with Jan.” That was one of the sweetest Michael moments and so well acted. I also noticed watching this for the second time that the Karen joke just did not work so well or elicit a very good response from Jim. It just wasn’t compatible with his more innocent, G-rated sense of humor. I didn’t catch how weird and flat that turned out the first time I saw this episode.
654 | What's the dealio? Thu. Aug. 9, 2007 at 10:20pmgood episode, with Michael asking how much money the house cost. hilarious!! and Dwight in the kids room and checking the banister haha!
lol at Jan with “That’s what she said!” haha
OMG the Roy crashing the bar!!! that was scary :(
653 | becky Thu. Apr. 26, 2007 at 9:46pmI thought “Love Today: Office style” was well done. All of you seem to have a lot of fun both at the office and making this video. I wish the office I am apart of would change.
652 | Robert Anderson Thu. Apr. 5, 2007 at 3:18pmThe christmas card thing is probobly on a deleated scene. Just wait for the DVD to come out and you can see.
651 | iHaveA_Dundie Sat. Mar. 24, 2007 at 11:30amThat would have made some nice continuity. “Question. Did you receive the Christmas card I sent out?” Maybe there’ll be an outtake.
650 | NoGould Thu. Mar. 22, 2007 at 2:22pmSorry for potential duplication, but I can’t read 686 posts! :D
649 | CFO (not my initials) Thu. Mar. 22, 2007 at 1:15pmDoes anyone else think it’s a bummer that the writers didn’t have Dwight mention the Christmas Cards when he met the CFO? It would have been perfect!
aww its so cute how Michael is in love with Jan! I love him as a character, and Steve does an amazing job because it doesnt seem like Steve has anything in common with the character he plays.
648 | Mrs. Michael Scott Thu. Mar. 22, 2007 at 6:55amWell, that’s just it. I think that was a revelation to Jan, that Michael’s not just about their physical relationship. He’s actually in love with her. Which is way more than she was looking for with him even though it’s what she was looking for with Gould in the marriage.
647 | NoGould Wed. Mar. 21, 2007 at 7:27pmi think it was a…”i want that to” face
646 | assitant to the sensei Wed. Mar. 21, 2007 at 10:06amI agree with “NoGould”, what was that face Jan gave to Michael? We’ll just have to wait I guess.
645 | Mrs. Michael Scott Tue. Mar. 20, 2007 at 10:37amWhat was with the look that Jan gives Michael when he said he wanted the picket fence, ketchup fights, etc.? Was that maybe a revelation to Jan? These month long hiatuses between new shows is a killer. I need resolution!
644 | NoGould Tue. Mar. 20, 2007 at 8:32amwell of course there trying to increase the drama, there are certain things we need to know…i think there still doing a great job of making this show..it only gets better in my eyes.
little michael scott’s running around…yikes!!!
maybe dwight needs to do a new health plan for corporate and see if jan is on the pill.
643 | assitant to the sensei Sat. Mar. 17, 2007 at 10:56amI am getting tired of watching Pam and Jim go back and forth but every show needs that couple who are so in love but cant seem to get together.
Anyways, I def. love Michael and Jan (they are cute together) even though Jan seems to be in it less than Michael wants her to be. I cant believe she hasnt told Michael if she loves him (haha so sad and he keeps saying it to her). I also read on here that someone thinks that Jan feeling not so good in the car could be refering to her getting pregnant and I would absolutely love that. Michael would make a Great father and funny/nice husband to Jan. He loves her so much!!!
and Dwight, well hes Dwight!
p.s. I absolutely love this show!
642 | Mrs. Michael Scott Sat. Mar. 17, 2007 at 9:45ami feel like the show is getting more and more unrealistic. i mean i remember back in season two when the camera wouldn’t catch a lot of things and we’d slowly realize what happened. nowadays, the camera seems to be everywhere. i feel it’s ridiculous that they caught the whole michael and jan conversation in the bathroom. and also felt it was ridiculous that the camera would catch roy saying that he’s gonna kill jim. i think the writers are just trying to up the drama.
641 | jack m. fan Fri. Mar. 16, 2007 at 10:22pmi love this show
640 | assitant to the sensei Thu. Mar. 15, 2007 at 8:59pmFinally some mention of Andy, i was getting anxious man
639 | Big Turkey Wed. Mar. 14, 2007 at 11:07am“On the subject of Pam, I really think this outing to Poor Richard’s exposed to Pam what happens when she takes the opportunity to speak her mind. Sure, she may get her lite beer and all the little things, but I think Roy’s reaction showed her an ugly side of being “ol’ Pammie”, and reminded her of why she was so passive in the first place. So based on this episode, I wouldn’t count on Pam speaking her mind, especially her feelings, for the rest of the season.”
I disagree that Pam will take a step back in her new assertiveness. Sure, the Roy situation was ugly but she also saw a lot of positive events when she was upfront and honest. I think that’s enough to encourage her to continue. In fact, I think what happened with Roy only emphasizes to her that she was right in being forward about her feelings. If she hadn’t, she’d continue being duped by Roy.
Pam has always had this assertiveness inside but, in the past, Jim was the only catalyst to bringing it out(as in their many pranks.) Pam is just realizing that she can be that way without Jim.
638 | Jake Sat. Mar. 10, 2007 at 12:41pmI agree with mungbeans…it’s also great when he joins in with the thrashing you hear him yell “jet skis”
637 | cherz Fri. Mar. 9, 2007 at 10:10amWhile Roy’s sudden freakout in the bar was a rather uncomfortable and unusual situation for the show, I thought it was fantastic when his brother, completely unaware of Roy’s reasoning behind the tantrum, totally joined in the destruction. I seriously think that was the funniest part of the episode, expertly hidden in an explosive situation.
636 | mungbeans Thu. Mar. 8, 2007 at 11:10pmi think Jan was nauseous because of the potato salad… It’d be pretty damn funny if she was preggers though. She would fall in love with Michael through that experience, because even though he’s a dorky pain in the ass, he’s got a lot of heart and would make a good daddy and husband!
635 | lauren Tue. Mar. 6, 2007 at 2:46pm