The Office: Doomsday, 8.06

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The Office: Doomsday

Writer: Daniel Chun, Director: Troy Miller

Summary (NBC): Dwight starts a system to find mistakes in the office — Dwight tries to help the office’s efficiency by installing a Doomsday device that will get them all fired if they make too many mistakes.

The Office Doomsday extras

The Office Doomsday rating

In a poll conducted November 3-7, 2011, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.16/10

See all The Office Season 8 ratings.

The Office Doomsday quotes

Manually transcribed by tanster. :)

Stanley: Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

Andy: Who’s your favorite Iron Chef?

Dwight: As with all my dreams, I’m guessing it was about my fear of immigrants.

Robert: And you can’t have a favorite Iron Chef. It depends entirely on the secret ingredient. Sometimes I feel you don’t know food at all.

Val: Are you really this lazy?

Dwight: I should have used a shorter string.

Andy: You’re the deuce I never want to drop.

Andy: Go do the voodoo that you do so well.

Gabe: There was attraction in at least one direction.

Gabe: I don’t want a bunch of bureaucratic red tape wrapped around my jock.

Toby: Do you know her last name yet?

Toby: She’s going to be screaming her own last name?

Dwight: The Accountability Booster! Five strikes in a day equals a home run. One home run, and you’re out.

Dwight (reading Jim’s email): “Robert’s favorite song, Creep by TLC, Creep by Radiohead.”

Dwight (reading Oscar’s email): “There’s no way he hasn’t strangled at least one stripper.”

Dwight (reading Kelly’s email): “He eats his yogurt like he is punishing it for disappointing him. P.S. We should kill him.”

Kelly: You are a psycho who is ruining our lives.

Dwight: They’re making me out to be a Bond villain. I like to think of myself as a brilliant scientist who will stop at nothing to remake the world.

Gabe: I will be milking that hard.

Gabe: The Michelin Man called. He wants his cummerbund back.

Oscar: There’s only one computer that I trust, and it’s powered by Thai food and Spanish reds.

Dwight: How about “Scranton Strangler 666”?

Mindy: What’s Dwight’s mother’s name?
Jim: Hedda.

Gabe: Don’t bring me any of that caramel soy latte crap, okay? I want a decaf frappuccino.

Erin: You’re a real crumb bum, you know that?

Dwight: You can’t just change the rules because you don’t like the outcome.

Oscar: Dwight, be human for once? Shut down the machine?

Dwight: Good luck finding a new job, idiots.

Andy: Your breasts are enormous. That could help us.

Erin: He’s at some club where you either eat squash or play squash.
Jim: I’ll try both.

Dwight: What does it look like I’m doing? Digging a grave for a horse.

Dwight: If you hit another horse, you’ve dug too far.

Pam: Oh wow. I forgot how pretty your house is.

Darryl: When are they going to do a labradoodle that’s just lab?

Angela: Where were you two hours ago, Beautiful Mind?

Pam: Pobody’s nerfect, right?
Dwight: Did you just have a stroke, Pam?

Pam: You know what would go so great with this cabbage pie? Milk.

Dwight: Sive drafely.

Robert: Do you find one-day only Jet Blue sales to Buffalo interesting?

Dwight: I’m going to have to work with them forever, aren’t I?

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