The Office: Golden Ticket, 5.19

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The Office Golden Ticket

Writer: Mindy Kaling, Director: Randall Einhorn

Summary (NBC): Michael puts “golden tickets” into packages of paper for clients to redeem for discounts. Andy, Jim, and Pam give Kevin differing advice on wooing a woman.

The Office Golden Ticket rating

In a poll conducted March 12-16, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.33/10

See all The Office Season 5 ratings.

The Office Golden Ticket quotes

Michael: Buddha this bread for me, won’t you?

Jim: The KGB will wait for no one.
Dwight: It’s true.

Michael: It’s probably the best idea anybody has ever had.

Michael: It is my responsibility, as manager of this branch, to profiligate great ideas.

Kevin: I’m a textbook over-thinker.

Andy: You can’t let a girl feel good about herself. It will backfire on you.

Darryl: Were the boxes near each other?
Michael: Irrelevant.

Michael: What is a pallet?

Pam: He’s not back from the civil rights rally.

Pam: “An Obama fashion show.” Whatever that … is.

Pam: “Trapped in an oil painting.” I’m going to save that one.

Michael: It is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist.
Creed: That’s not why.

Pam: He’s having a colonoscopy.

Michael: Why do you have a diary?
Dwight: To keep secrets from my computer.

Andy: Don’t touch her, don’t talk to her, don’t look at her.

Michael: I want you to fall on your sword for me.

Michael: I have an idea for a fancy men’s shoe store called Shoe La La.

David: This is huge.
Dwight: That’s what she said.

Dwight: Apology rejected.

Jim: This meeting sounds like it’s Wonka fans only.

Dwight: Horse Boat. A canoe built around your horse so you can go from riding to water travel without slowing down. Horse Boat!

Michael: I do want the credit without any of the blame.

David: Pam, do me a favor, don’t send me those notes. I am gone.

Kevin: Boobs.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.

112 comments

  1. HILARIOUS!!

    When Michael and Dwight were fighting with the diaries made me laugh and when kevin said “boobs” i almost peed my pants. BEST SHOW EVER

  2. The best episode of the season, in my opinion. I love that the plot was so workplace-centered, and the dynamics with Michael and Dwight were hilarious. Loved the subplot with Kevin – the last scene was so cute, and loved the JAM advice-giving conflict! This was the Office we all know and love — genuine, life-like, and laugh-out loud funny!

  3. The cold open was great! The episode was top form all the way through. Great work writers, actors, and all other Office workers!!!

    Best lines:

    Michael: Why do you keep a diary?
    Dwight: To keep secrets… from my computer.

  4. I think Kevin’s huge smile at the end, coupled by a simple “boobs” comment, may rival the best moment of this season (IMO, the JAM proposal) for me. I just… I loved every moment of it.

    Dwight was amazing, Jim was awesome, I wanted to kill Michael… All around phenomenal episode for me!

  5. I thought this was a great episode.
    The cold open open was hilarious and I loved Kevin asking the girl out on a date.

    I can’t wait for next week’s episode!

  6. Now THAT was a good office episode. Some excellent quotes and a legitimate office situation! My favorite parts were Michael reading the procedure of a colonoscopy off the internet to David and Dwight’s “that’s what she said.” I really enjoyed David in this episode. I feel that this season the writers have made some of the characters not very believable (Angela) and David is consistently the most believable character so seeing him have such a large role in this episode was refreshing. Top 3 for the season!

  7. That was a fantastic episode! Pam filling up her notepad during the conference call/ confession was pricelessness mixed with adorableness.
    Pretty much everything was in the office, centered on work, with minor deviation. This episode felt like ‘The Office.’ :)

  8. I thought it was a great episode, with a classic Office vibe. Kevin’s line about being a textbook overthinker was probably my favorite line of the show. Also, loved Pam’s list of excuses for why Michael is out of the office. I’m going to have to remember “trapped in an oil painting” next time I want to get out of something. I hope we get to hear her use that some day.

  9. I agree with everyone else…this episode was great!
    This was the best episode of the season for me. Good to see the show back in top form.

  10. Mindy Kaling is the queen of the universe. First “The Injury”, and now the only episode of season 5 so far that I would honestly rank among the season 2 greats. Today is a great day to be an Office fan.

  11. Great episode. Dwight and Michael were awesome. Loved the KGB joke. Another fantastic episode to add to the ever expanding list. Can’t wait for next week.

  12. Mindy’s scripts are always my favorites. I loved Jim’s “ding-dong” instead of “knock knock!” That cracked my whole family up. Michael can be such a doucher. I absolutely loved Dwight in this one.

  13. What a great episode! The only thing, and this is one miniscule thing, is that I wish we had seen more talking heads from the other actors. All in all, this episode was awesome, and I’m so glad Kevin’s found his new love! Awwwwww! Andy was also just hilarious, as was Willy Wonka Michael. Mindy Kaling and all the Office writers, you’ve done it again! Wonderful job! :)

  14. #13 – When he slapped him (be it Michael to Dwight or Jim to Dwight) he said “KGB waits for no man.” He didn’t wait for him to finish saying, “KGB who?”

  15. Such a great episode!
    Best part: Michael’s face when he realizes that Dwight is getting the Willy Wonka credit.

  16. Was anyone else’s broadcast not in widescreen? It seemed like they didn’t force a ratio like they usually do and a lot of the time people were cut off while talking. Especially while everyone was trying to give Kevin tips.

    I mean usually the show starts and I can see it switch to a letterbox ratio but this time it stayed fullscreen and stuff was cut off.

    Aside from that, awesome episode.

  17. 25 -KGB was the Russian police force under Stalin that went around and killed people. (someone correct me if I’m wrong, I haven’t looked at my Modern Euro notes since the AP exam last year…

  18. Hm…I’m torn. The overall plot was pretty so-so, but the individual lines were brilliant. I loved the KGB bit, and JAM’s, “Do guys really do that?” “Guys with girlfriends don’t” lol. The cold open was…kinda weird, but as I said, I LOVED the end tag. Shoe La-La almost had me on the floor. So, so-so plot, but countless great little moments. I gave it the same rating I gave Blood Drive, 8.

  19. Michael denying that the Golden Ticket was his idea as the camera slowly panned to his Willy Wonka hat was one of the funniest moments of the entire season for me. Brilliant!

    Awesome episode all around. Yay, Mindy! :)

  20. Great episode! So many priceless lines. It’s one of the first in a while that I actually want to go back and watch again.

  21. One of my favorite parts was when it was Andy, Jim and Pam were talking against each other and Andy saying, “Something that two hot people in a perfect relationship wouldn’t understand!” or however it went. That just cracked me up.

  22. From the commercials and synopsis, I honestly wasn’t expecting much from this episode. I was pleasantly surprised. I absolutely loved the plotline, probably because it felt like a legitimate office situation that was slightly exaggerated for TV drama. It worked brilliantly. The Michael and Dwight interactions were oddly sweet, but their relationship has always been an odd one.

  23. Does anyone have verbatim what Kevin said to Lynn at the end when he asked her out? It made me laugh so much!

  24. Also love how the KGB talk with German accents around Dunder Mifflin!

    Ahhh, love it!

  25. Pretty good episode I thought, but did anybody else think the whole bit with David was going to be a prank on Michael? It just seemed so staged to me–I thought they were trying to get a confession out of Michael. Other than that, there lots of good parts scattered throughout!

  26. The TWSS moment was spot on – nice to see David Wallace’s reaction.

    The rest….felt like a cartoon. These characters don’t even seem “real” anymore. Watch a season 1 or 2 episode, and then watch a season 5 episode. Doesn’t even feel like the same show. AT ALL.

  27. I loved this episode. Mindy does it again! :D

    Also, I seem to be falling more and more in love with Dwight against my will.

  28. “Why do you have a diary?”
    “To keep secrets from my computer.”

    Probably one of my favourite Dwight lines EVER.

  29. Bravo Mindy, Bravo!! This was a fantastic episode. This would be one of those great episodes that I would choose if I could only take one to play for someone to show why this show is so great. Great writing, well edited, well paced, and awesome laugh out loud moments!

    Kevin and David Wallace- Nothing but amazing!

  30. I love Mindy Kaling.
    Haha, this episode just hit it right on the dot.
    I especially loved the ending tag. Can’t wait to geek out with my friends about this episode.

  31. Awesome episode!
    I think what I liked best was how un-obvious the humor was…sometimes, I’d just smile at something someone said, and then I’d think to myself, ‘wait…what did they just say?!’ and start busting out laughing!

    Like Andy’s little ‘golden’ things rant…THAT was gold!

    And I have to say, great job John Kransinki tonight! Even though he didn’t have a huge spotlight in this episode, his acting was phenomenal! Rewind and pay attention to the episode…he put some extra spunk in Jim! I like it :)

  32. My initial reaction to this episode: what the h*** was that? followed by hysterical laughter. I thought it was edgy, tense and funny at the same time. Some really good laughs in this one. But I have to view it another time to absorb it more.

  33. what did dwight and jim yell in the different language at the beginning?? it sounded german. but kgb is russian i thought.. and what did they say??

  34. I agree with Vidsub — this really did feel like a Season 2 or 3 episode. And it was wonderful. Mindy, you rock, you writer grrl!

  35. This was one of my favorite episodes from the season! I think it went back to the classic humor/pranks of the first few seasons…

    I was laughing the whole time! Especially when he’s saying, “Why would you think I had anything to do with this?” and then the camera closes in on his hat, his face was priceless! :)

  36. Loved Kevin in the PLOD as well as Jim, Pam, Kevin, and Lynn in the elevator. It was really a wonderful episode.

  37. Wow. Apparently, my view differs greatly. I usually defend the Office at all costs, but this is probably my least favorite episode ever. I felt like an outsider who stumbled upon to this show for the first time, and couldn’t understand the characters. It just felt like a completely different show that I am no longer connected with.

  38. This was The Office that I fell in love with in season 2. Great episode all around, my favorite in a long time.

  39. Another GREAT ONE! That makes 5 or 6 in a row! I hope I don’t jinx it when I say The Office is BACK!

  40. I always love when Michael butchers a word; this time it’s profiligate instead of proliferate. Also got a kick out of Michael’s Willy Wonka suit :)

    Other highlights:
    -Andy, Jim, Pam talking head
    -Wallace’s reaction to TWSS
    -Dwight sitting in Michael’s chair & the camera panning back showing Michael
    -Michael calling Darryl an idiot & Darryl responding with “Start over.”
    -Michael reading a description of a colonoscopy to Wallace
    -ShoeLaLa
    -Kevin FTW!

  41. @53

    Dwight: “The KGB will ask the questions.”
    Jim: “The KGB will wait for no one.”

    both in bad Russian accents.

  42. I’m pretty sure my favorite part of this whole episode was during the cold open when the camera cut to Jim for about 1 second and we saw his look of pure ELATION at the fact that Dwight just slapped Michael across the face. He looked like a dog who just heard a can of food being opened.

  43. Great episode. Michael made me squirm and that is what I love about The Office.

    Also, I loved Andy tearing up after he saw Kevin talking to the woman. I missed Andy, great to have him back.

    Yeah Office!

  44. Mindy Kaling keeps up her streak of writing my favorite episodes…I loved it!

    And Michael Scott makes the greatest Willy Wonka ever!

  45. @michael scarn – Dwight’s line was “The KGB are the ones who ask questions.” Jim’s line was “The KGB waits for no one.”

    I loved the cold opening. It was definitely one of my favorites, especially this season. After Jim slapped Dwight and Michael laughs, did anyone else hear Pam’s laugh? I may have heard nothing but it really sounds like her for a second as I’m sure others were laughing off screen.

  46. My favorite part was when Jim,Andy, and Pam are all arguing about Kevin and Andy just goes in to his rant about his burnt heart with bbq sauce on it.Poor Andy is still so hurt.
    I also loved Creed’s simple “that’s not why” about the carnations, and when Darrell tells Michael to “start over” when Michael calls him an idiot. Good stuff.

  47. I loved it, here was my only issue, and I’m torn as to whether it’s right or wrong.

    This season Michael’s personality has been so up and down – one minute he’s hanging up on David Wallace and stealing customer contact lists (both seemingly weird for Michael), the next he’s the same loveable guy who wants to be friends with everyone and thinks of them as a family (ie endearing michael in the deposition). He wouldn’t even let Toby get in trouble when he planted drugs on him, so would he really go so far as to let Dwight get fired?

    Maybe it’s just part of an arc…building Michael up to be more than the goofy, DM-loving guy we used to know? Does anyone else notice this about Michael this year?

  48. I had more laugh-out-loud moments with this episode than any other this season! What I love about Mindy’s writing is that on the surface, Michael is acting like a jerk trying to weasel out of the blame, but you realize it’s from extreme insecurity, because his life is positively empty without DM.

    Plus, as a huge Wonka fan myself, the analogy to the kooky Gene Wilder character (NOT the creepy Johnny Depp version) was priceless.

    Plus, the Kevin/Andy/JAM moments were a riot. Mindy is back!

  49. I just wanted to give a tip of the hat to Randall Einhorn for his direction – part of what I love about The Office is not just the antics, but the reactions of the people in the office to the antics. He did a fantastic job of slowing things down so we could enjoy people’s reactions this week. The look on Darryl’s face when Michael asked what a pallet is was priceless.

  50. “did anybody else think the whole bit with David was going to be a prank on Michael?”

    I did. I was sure that’s what they were setting him up for.

    Michael and Dwight tackling each other is a little much for me. Not realistic at all.

    Not the best episode, IMO. A real downer after a great episode last week.

  51. Sheer brilliance!! Loved loved loved this show. Hilarious from the open straight to the finish. Best show by far this season!!

  52. my favorite quote in that episode wasn’t up there, but it was the aside with Jim, Andy and Pam when Andy goes, “and two hot people with a perfect relationship would not understand that!”

    i just thought it was awesome lmao

  53. Unbelievably brilliant. I was literally giddy for thirty minutes. From the knock knock, er, ding dong (!!!) joke, to Wonkafied Michael Scott, to Darryl’s “Start over,” to Michael’s aghast face at Dwight receiving praise, to everything else. It was as close to a perfect episode as you can get. Bravo to all involved.

    Best line: “The meeting sounds like Wonka fans only. He’s never seen the movie.” I’ve ribbed people third party in that passive way so many times and Jim did it magnificently. Close second for Michael’s, “They are announcements, you just don’t care about what’s being announced.”

    Best little moment: Dwight’s walking shoes. So obscure and so downplayed, but so Dwight.

  54. This episode was amazing!!! I loved every minute of it. Even Michael dancing in the warehouse in the Willy Wonka getup had me rolling.

  55. #53 michael scarn-

    They both spoke in English, albeit with an accent. Dwight said “We will ask the questions!” and Jim said “The KGB will wait for no one”.

  56. Loved it. Probably best of the season so far. Mindy is a great writer!! I loved the “To keep secrets from my computer” So Dwight!

  57. Overall, I enjoyed the episode. One of my favorite lines was when Stanley (I think) suggested Michael jump off the building since that almost did happen in Season 3’s “Safety Training.” Even though Michael’s good ideas don’t always come out as planned, at least his heart was right and he was giving it an honest effort this time around.

  58. Oh man!!! This was a sweet episode. I laughed so hard..
    “Boobs.” – LMAO
    He just said “boobs”, for heavens sake. How can this not be the funniest show around?
    And the German-accent on the KGB?? Hilarious
    Loved when everyone congratulated Dwight on the Golden Ticket idea; he even got some sugar from Pam!
    Oh man, i’ll shut up now

  59. My favorite part (and I can’t believe no one has mentioned this yet) was when Jim announces that his client found a golden ticket, and Michael rolls out of his office Willy Wonka style. And then he stands right next to Jim who is still on the phone, and makes more Charlie and the Chocolate Factory references.

  60. 69 – Erin, loved that part! That somersault would’ve gotten a D+ in my grade school gym class.

  61. Classic episode!!!
    Michael acting out with that 5 year twinkle in his eye makes my life.
    And it was all worth the weird looks from people as i tried to comtain myself from bursting into laughter as I was watching it on my iPhone while riding the subway.

  62. Pam’s little laugh when Jim slapped Dwight during the cold open took me back to the first episode, when she laughed (more emphatically) at the stapler-in-the-jello gag.

  63. This was a great episode. I just broke out laughing when Jim tells Michael that all 5 golden tickets went to the same company, priceless. I want to know just how smart Michael is, becuase time and time again he proves himself to be dumber than before.

  64. Though I enjoyed the episode, I’m very displeased with Michael’s character arc (or lack thereof) this season. He’s always been a dolt, but at least in seasons 1-3 (and a few episodes in 4) he was a well-meaning dolt whose heart was (mostly) in the right place. He had moments of anger, but those edges were softened by the show’s close.

    This season, though, there have been too many episodes where Michael is petty, vindictive or downright mean and there’s no resolution. It’s distracting because it’s completely out of character. Michael Scott’s one of my all-time favorite TV characters, so this is very disheartening. I hope the upcoming shows dispense with Mean Michael.

  65. Funny episode. I laughed out loud when Michael was trying to get Dwight to take credit for the idea and Dwight said he did not eat candy growing up so he would not watch a movie that “fetishized” it. He did not watch movies either.

  66. Kudos to Mindy! This was such a funny episode. The plot twist was perfect. I never saw it coming. TWSS. I always love this show, but this episode had me laughing so much I know that I missed a lot of content. I’ll have to watch this many, many times.

  67. Great, really entertaining episode! The dynamic between Michael and Dwight was reminiscent of Drug Testing with a good twist. Poor David Wallace, thinking there was finally some useful (if trained and restrained) thinking outside the box skills within the Scranton branch, only to be deflated once again. Andy Buckley does such a fantastic job in that role!

    Kevin was far and away the best part with his palpable stress over Jim’s conservative steady approach, Pam’s advice to be warm and not go too slow, and Andy’s bitter guidance on controlling (and those differing opinions were so fitting for each of the characters!)

    And a shout out to trapped in an oil painting! I keep secrets from my computer! The many, many toilet related inventions! That stuff had me nearly in tears!

  68. #71, Yes, I totally thought David was trying to entrap Michael by making him think the ticket idea was good so he’d admit what he did. David just seemed so over-the-top happy after being so angry. Kind of odd.

    My favorite part was also the KGB.

  69. Upon second viewing I noticed that Michael foreshadows his Toilet Buddy invention when proclaiming he is like a net to filter out his staff’s ideas. Awesome.

    And Wallace’s, “I…am going back to New York,” followed by that little beat was priceless. A perfect read.

  70. My favorite part of the entire episode was Michael’s reaction to discovering someone has found a golden ticket. He rolls out of his office, then, my favorite line: “Ooohohoo! La di doo! Do to pa ta! Tell me! Was it, a spoiled little girl with big lips, or an odd little boy….. with a cowboy obsession? Invite them on the tour!”

    MICHAEL SCOTT IS MY LIFE!!!!

  71. Another thing – I noticed that Kevin was drinking out of his photo mug. I just love little details like that – especially when they recall prior episodes. :)

  72. Awesome episode! Way to go Mindy!

    I enjoyed seeing that Andy is working through his demons with the demise of his relationship with Angela (his discouraging advice to Kevin).

    Nice to see Kevin falling in love. After Stacey he needs some loving care. Too funny when he was “saying exactly what’s on my mind” and it was going great until “boobs” slipped out. Funny.

    Jim, Dwight, and Michael all providing lots of good humor. I will sit down and watch this one again tonight.

  73. I just watched the episode again and noticed Michael’s board in the conference room spelled MGM (marketing greatness Michael.) Was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory an MGM movie?

  74. I really felt that this was the best episode so far this season. The writing/comedy was spot on. Does anyone think that Wallace is trying to set up Michael to get rid of him? I recently watched the UK version, and David(their version of Michael) is terminated. Could this happen to Michael?

  75. This episode was hilarious!!! shoe lala: the store for shoes for a wedding, the day your child is born, and everyday. lol!

  76. Schrutedlt22 said:
    “Though I enjoyed the episode, I’m very displeased with Michael’s character arc (or lack thereof) this season. He’s always been a dolt, but at least in seasons 1-3 (and a few episodes in 4) he was a well-meaning dolt whose heart was (mostly) in the right place. He had moments of anger, but those edges were softened by the show’s close.

    This season, though, there have been too many episodes where Michael is petty, vindictive or downright mean and there’s no resolution. It’s distracting because it’s completely out of character. Michael Scott’s one of my all-time favorite TV characters, so this is very disheartening. I hope the upcoming shows dispense with Mean Michael.”

    I completely agree. When he tried to blame Dwight I literally yelled at my TV, “HE WOULDN’T DO THAT!”. I didn’t care for this episode.

  77. This was one of the funniest episodes of the season.
    Ok what am I thinking right now?
    Um… nacho chips.
    No! I was thinking about how skin is the largest organ of the body.

    Well done, Mindy! Well done.

  78. I have to disagree with Jess and SchrutedIt on this one. I thought Michael was very in-character this episode. Remember the oven mit incident in “Christmas Party”? Remember how he reacted to Kevin’s skin cancer scare in “Michael’s Birthday”? We haven’t seen this side of Michael for a while, but we’ve seen it before. As much as Michael tries to insist that he is for his people, he really has very little regard for anyone but himself. That is part of what’s fun about the character though – he has these two conflicting pieces of his personality and you never quite know whether his empathy or his selfishness will win out.

  79. Did anyone else notice Dwight’s Nazi uniform coat?? Also, “trapped in an oil painting” is another Roald Dahl reference from his book, The Witches. Funny that Michael would say that without knowing about the book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory…by Roald Dahl.

    Great job, Mindy!

  80. Great episode. I loved it when Dwight said he’d write Jim up for insubordination after suggesting Dwight shouldn’t fall on his sword for Michael. LOL.

  81. Schrutedlt22/Jess agreed with my point on Michael’s character arc. I was waiting for a response, and #103, you hit the nail on the head. Well put.

  82. I have been reading the coments here, and I am going to agree with Jessie on this, becuase while we have seen some different parts of michael this season, in “Golden Ticket” he is acting much like he did way back in season 2. I also just realized how long ago the first episode was. Going on 5 years… WOW.

  83. I also have to disagree with Jess #101. Michael would certainly blame Dwight. In “Drug Testing” in season 2, Michael used Dwight’s clean urine so he could pass his drug test. Dwight then felt so guilty that he quit from being a volunteer sherriffs deputy. I think that this is a similar scenario to where he blamed Dwight for the Golden Ticket idea.

  84. According to Dunderpedia when Michael and Dwight were walking a sign saying Keyser Valley was there, and it’s a real place in Scranton. Little details like this make this show awesome.

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