The Office: Golden Ticket, 5.19

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The Office Golden Ticket

Writer: Mindy Kaling, Director: Randall Einhorn

Summary (NBC): Michael puts “golden tickets” into packages of paper for clients to redeem for discounts. Andy, Jim, and Pam give Kevin differing advice on wooing a woman.

The Office Golden Ticket rating

In a poll conducted March 12-16, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.33/10

See all The Office Season 5 ratings.

The Office Golden Ticket quotes

Michael: Buddha this bread for me, won’t you?

Jim: The KGB will wait for no one.
Dwight: It’s true.

Michael: It’s probably the best idea anybody has ever had.

Michael: It is my responsibility, as manager of this branch, to profiligate great ideas.

Kevin: I’m a textbook over-thinker.

Andy: You can’t let a girl feel good about herself. It will backfire on you.

Darryl: Were the boxes near each other?
Michael: Irrelevant.

Michael: What is a pallet?

Pam: He’s not back from the civil rights rally.

Pam: “An Obama fashion show.” Whatever that … is.

Pam: “Trapped in an oil painting.” I’m going to save that one.

Michael: It is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist.
Creed: That’s not why.

Pam: He’s having a colonoscopy.

Michael: Why do you have a diary?
Dwight: To keep secrets from my computer.

Andy: Don’t touch her, don’t talk to her, don’t look at her.

Michael: I want you to fall on your sword for me.

Michael: I have an idea for a fancy men’s shoe store called Shoe La La.

David: This is huge.
Dwight: That’s what she said.

Dwight: Apology rejected.

Jim: This meeting sounds like it’s Wonka fans only.

Dwight: Horse Boat. A canoe built around your horse so you can go from riding to water travel without slowing down. Horse Boat!

Michael: I do want the credit without any of the blame.

David: Pam, do me a favor, don’t send me those notes. I am gone.

Kevin: Boobs.

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112 comments

  1. HILARIOUS!!

    When Michael and Dwight were fighting with the diaries made me laugh and when kevin said “boobs” i almost peed my pants. BEST SHOW EVER

  2. The best episode of the season, in my opinion. I love that the plot was so workplace-centered, and the dynamics with Michael and Dwight were hilarious. Loved the subplot with Kevin – the last scene was so cute, and loved the JAM advice-giving conflict! This was the Office we all know and love — genuine, life-like, and laugh-out loud funny!

  3. The cold open was great! The episode was top form all the way through. Great work writers, actors, and all other Office workers!!!

    Best lines:

    Michael: Why do you keep a diary?
    Dwight: To keep secrets… from my computer.

  4. I think Kevin’s huge smile at the end, coupled by a simple “boobs” comment, may rival the best moment of this season (IMO, the JAM proposal) for me. I just… I loved every moment of it.

    Dwight was amazing, Jim was awesome, I wanted to kill Michael… All around phenomenal episode for me!

  5. I thought this was a great episode.
    The cold open open was hilarious and I loved Kevin asking the girl out on a date.

    I can’t wait for next week’s episode!

  6. Now THAT was a good office episode. Some excellent quotes and a legitimate office situation! My favorite parts were Michael reading the procedure of a colonoscopy off the internet to David and Dwight’s “that’s what she said.” I really enjoyed David in this episode. I feel that this season the writers have made some of the characters not very believable (Angela) and David is consistently the most believable character so seeing him have such a large role in this episode was refreshing. Top 3 for the season!

  7. That was a fantastic episode! Pam filling up her notepad during the conference call/ confession was pricelessness mixed with adorableness.
    Pretty much everything was in the office, centered on work, with minor deviation. This episode felt like ‘The Office.’ :)

  8. I thought it was a great episode, with a classic Office vibe. Kevin’s line about being a textbook overthinker was probably my favorite line of the show. Also, loved Pam’s list of excuses for why Michael is out of the office. I’m going to have to remember “trapped in an oil painting” next time I want to get out of something. I hope we get to hear her use that some day.

  9. I agree with everyone else…this episode was great!
    This was the best episode of the season for me. Good to see the show back in top form.

  10. Mindy Kaling is the queen of the universe. First “The Injury”, and now the only episode of season 5 so far that I would honestly rank among the season 2 greats. Today is a great day to be an Office fan.

  11. Great episode. Dwight and Michael were awesome. Loved the KGB joke. Another fantastic episode to add to the ever expanding list. Can’t wait for next week.

  12. Mindy’s scripts are always my favorites. I loved Jim’s “ding-dong” instead of “knock knock!” That cracked my whole family up. Michael can be such a doucher. I absolutely loved Dwight in this one.

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