The Office: PDA, 7.16

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The Office: PDA

Writer: Robert Padnick, Director: Greg Daniels

Summary (NBC): It’s Valentine’s Day in the office and the public displays of affection between Michael and Holly are making everyone uncomfortable. The aftermath of a bottomless champagne lunch causes complications for Jim and Pam. After Gabe designs a romantic treasure hunt for Erin, Andy tags along.

The Office PDA extras

The Office PDA rating

In a poll conducted February 10-14, 2011, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.72/10

See all The Office Season 7 ratings.

The Office PDA quotes

Manually transcribed by tanster :)

Card: Congratulations, Darryl. Let’s get wasted.

Michael: It goes to show that everything you want in life, you get. And you can’t work for it, it just comes to you.

Gabe: I dominate Valentine’s Day. I practically make romance into a science.

Erin: Omigosh, it’s a romantic scavenger hunt!
Gabe: Oh close, it’s a romantic treasure hunt. A scavenger hunt is where you find items from a master list. This is where you follow the clues that lead to a prize. Common misuse. Good luck!

Gabe: The puzzle is the clue.

Pam: What else was there?
Jim: Bottomless champagne.
Pam: Yes. Never found that bottom, did we?

Andy: I accidentally did his sudoku.

Jim: All right. I will fax over it to you. Woop. I will fax over to you.

Dwight: Okay, my name is J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-Jim Halpert and I will fax it into you, under you, I will fax it under you, oh excuse me, I just p-p-p-p-p-pissed my pants.

Dwight: I will not be your valentine.
Jim: Aww nuts.

Kevin: I enjoy watching them. Because it makes me horny.

Andy: We were the only two white people there.
Erin: Aww, cute.

Gabe: I hear them kissing all the time. It’s this horrible plipping sound. You know, it’s like Chinese water torture. Like it’s coming from my own head.

Holly: I cannot keep myself from Michael. Everything he does is sexy. He has this undeniable animal magnetism. He’s a jungle cat. The man exudes sex. He can put both his legs behind his head.

Michael: It is quite apro-propriate.

Jim: Boom! Face!

Gabe: Perfect example, look at Jim and Pam. They don’t touch. They don’t kiss. You would hardly even know that they are husband and wife.

Kevin: Booby honking.
Gabe: Yeah, booby honking, sure.
Kevin: Butt honking.
Gabe: Butt honking. Yeah, all the honkings.

Michael: Whispering and tickling have their place in business.

Dwight: Michael? Confession. I have done PDA in the office. I’ve had intercourse in the office.

Kevin: As has Kevin.
Angela: With who?
Kevin: She goes to another school.

Michael: We are going to designate one of our closets as a hook-up zone.

Michael: We’re going to have three closets. One for each base, no homers.

Dwight: And what is the hook-up zone policy on masturbation?
Michael: Pro.

Michael: I love working at Dunder Mifflin. A division of Taliban Enterprises.

Gabe’s song: The temp at night, the temp at night…

Michael: I don’t sit on your lap because it’s comfortable. I sit on your lap because I like the way your thighs feel on my butt.

Michael: Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet. And this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

Holly: Do you mean you love me like you love me – love me?
Michael: I love you – love you.
Holly: You love me – love me. I love you – love you.

Michael: I am really disappointed in the office’s policy on PDA at this moment.

Michael: Yeah, whatever, no big deal. Just the hottest girl in the world loves me.

Ryan: Just try to put everything back where you found it. Text me when you’re finished.

Pam: We have something those other people don’t have. Which is a home. And a bed.
Jim: And a shower.

Michael: I don’t know what your body feels like. ‘Cause I can’t touch it.

Gabe: No one is a bigger fan of sexual touching than me.

Gabe: I can think of three explanations. One, you’re taking MDMA. Street name, Ecstasy. I’ve done it, and I know the feeling. Number two, you’re desperately trying to fit in a whole relationship before Toby comes back from jury duty and Holly has to go back to Nashua. Or three, you’re at an age where your sexual climaxes aren’t as powerful, so you need to overcompensate with foreplay, taboo behavior…

Holly: I’m not saying it won’t be hard, but we can make it work. That’s what she said.

Michael: It’s like a time bomb. It’s ticking down. When it goes off, no more kissing, no more hugging. Sexual time bomb.

Michael: “Boner Bomb” starring Jason Statham, or we go against type with an Eisenberg or a Michael Cera. Saving the world has never been this hard.

Dwight: Have you talked to her about her feelings? Women really go for that crap.

Dwight: Kevin, do more stupid faces.
Kevin: Which one? I have a lot of stupid faces.
Michael: Do the monkey face!

Michael: Throw your poop.
Dwight: Hurl your feces!

Erin: B-9. Like benign tumor.
Andy: Maybe it’s more like, be mine.

Michael: When we get home, we are going to make love to, and with, one other.

Kevin: Suck it, Oscar, this must kill you.
Oscar: I just told them to do it!

Jim: No. We took a walk.
Pam: We took a walk.

Dwight: My perfect Valentine’s Day? I’m at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the 50 restaurant reservations I made over six months ago.

Ryan: Anybody can be Prince Charming one day a year, with the dinner and the flowers and all that. But you know what impresses me? When a guy can do that no days a year.

Kelly: Flowers, diamonds, three-course meal, violinist comes to my table to serenade me…

Kevin: Pizza, soda, the moon, someone to share it with…

Michael: What are our plans for tonight?
Holly: Wicky-wicky-wicky-wicky.

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