The Office: Sex Ed, 7.04

Thursday, October 14th, 2010 | 121 comments


The Office: Sex Ed

W: Paul Lieberstein, D: Paul Lieberstein

Summary (NBC): Michael, believing he has herpes, contacts all his ex-girlfriends, including Jan and Holly. Andy tries to play on Erin’s compassionate side by holding a sex education meeting for the office. Guest stars: Melora Hardin, Amy Ryan, Linda Purl, Amy Pietz, and Nancy Carell.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.



In a poll conducted October 14-18, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.52/10

The Office Sex Ed quotes

Man: No quiero decir mas.

Dwight: Donde are you from?

Dwight: Poor hornet.

Dwight: When did the phrase “do or die” become so corrupted?

Michael: Good morning, Erin. Any mustaches, I mean messages?

Michael: There are many reasons a man would wear a fake mustache to work. He is a fan of the outrageous. He loves to surprise!

Michael: It’s a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time and she rocks harder than anyone alive.

Pam: It’s just good to catch a Michael train of thought early before it derails and destroys the entire town.

Kevin: You have a penis?

Michael: If you’re guessing 46, just say 46.

Angela: This is what you get when you treat your body like an outhouse.

Andy: The number one sexually transmitted disease… is ignorance.

Dwight: What port? The Jan port? The Holly port?

Dwight: You need to notify her that she is crawling with herpes.

Dwight: I’m just a normal guy who enjoys revenge.

Michael: H-I-R-P-E-E-S.

Holly: This is Holly.
Michael: No, this is Holly.

Michael: Were they in the missionary position?

Andy: Hot pizza, check it and see, I got a whole bunch of pepperoni…

Holly: You romanticize things.

Holly: You cried at that tagline for a movie you made up.

Michael: He had no arms or legs. He couldn’t see, hear, or speak. This is how he led a nation.

Michael: Maybe we were more than we were.

Dwight: He forgot to mention the herpes.
Michael: It didn’t come up organically.

Dwight: Is there an operating theater that’s open to visitors?

Andy: What, ’cause he’s black?
Jim: Nope. It’s ’cause it’s genitalia.

Michael: Between the sheets, we were like Jordan and Pippen.

Jan: No, I’m the princess. And the queen.

Michael: I used to think that she was the one. Or at least a “the one.”

Creed: The feeling of pure risk.

Dwight: Today is about herpes. Who gave it to you, who has it, and who is going to pay.

Darryl: What’s the safest way to go skiing? Don’t ski.

Andy: I’m not going to use my penis, Oscar. It’s not exactly hard right now anyway.

Meredith: Give it a rest, Pencil Dick!

Gabe: Nothing would make me happier than to hand you the hand of the hand once in my hand.

Michael: I’m between specialists right now.

Dwight: Excuse me. Someone died in the upstairs bathroom, didn’t they?

Darryl: Are you crying?
Andy: No, I’m just sweating.

Darryl: Be your best self.

Holly: I can’t come to the phone right now, but please leave a message at the sound of the tiny truck backing up.

Michael: I don’t feel for them anything like what I feel for you.

Michael: I don’t know why you downgraded what we had, but I did not make us up.

Michael: You may have given me a sexually transmitted disease. Herpes duplex.

Dwight: I’m going to need a list of every man you’ve ever had sex with. I’m talking train stations, mens’ rooms…
Michael: Flower shops, fireworks celebrations…
Dwight: Fence with a hole in it…
Michael: Moonlit gondola, carriage ride through Central Park…
Dwight: The woods behind the liquor store, the swamp behind the old folks home…
Michael: Electric car dealership…
Dwight: The Democratic primary…

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  1. 121. Brandon  

    @Tobeter Surprisingly, I think you and I were the only ones to notice K-Strass making an appearance on The Office! This has been extremely under-reported, which is understandable because it’s hard to recognize him without his yo-yo. I did a bit of research, and according to his Twitter page, “Nate” will be appearing again soon: link

  2. 120. Tiffany  

    @118 – OMG, that would be a show unto itself! Mind-bending and hilarious and awesome.

  3. 119. Mabby  

    LOVED IT! I think Kelly had the best line of the show. “Like Jim and Pam, whaaaaaaaaaaaat?”


    Daryl’s retort was great too, “I’m sure they don’t regret having that child, let’s move along….”

  4. 118. Samuel L Chang  

    Worst cold open ever. The rest of the episode wasn’t that great either. The only redeeming part was Michael’s voicemail to Holly at the end. I loved the first 3 episodes but this was a major downer for me.

  5. 117. Nydia  

    How cute would M/Jassy be?

  6. 116. Adrienne  

    I guess it was a pretty good episode but I´m also getting kind of tired of having Andy and Andy/Erin force fed on us. Do they really have to pair off every single character on the show? Jim and Pam were a hit, I like Kelly and Ryan, and I´ll even buy Dwight and Angela, but that´s about it. Looking forward to more screen time from Jim, Ryan, and Creed! always more Creed.

  7. 115. Mike  

    Beautiful thing seeing the princess queen again. Hope she and Mike take another run at it now that she’s got her head back in the game. Seems like they’re working overtime to downgrade them though.

  8. 114. Asturd  

    Just loved this episode, everything about it. Head and shoulders above almost every episode last season and I even have it as a top 10 on my list. This is shaping up to be a great season, can’t wait for more!

  9. 113. Cris  

    I loved the “No, I’m the princess. And the queen.” quote! It reminded me of Michael’s “Ryan is book smart. I’m street smart. And book smart.” (The Fire). Great episode! Andy is awesome.

  10. 112. Jim  

    Ya i totally agree with you Tanster. This was a great episode!I love When Dwight helps Michael!

  11. 111. Shannen  

    I really enjoyed this episode. I love that Andy is being showcased more. I really think he might be the new boss (or wishful thinking on my part). That sex ed meeting was very Michael like! lol

    Solid ep, but my favorite is still Andy’s Play.

  12. 110. Jim  

    Man, this episode is getting a lot of mixed reviews. I thought it was really funny, and i loved Dwight in this episode.
    What did you think Tanster?

    [from tanster: i love it when dwight tries to help michael with a task. it reminded me of when dwight and michael hung out waiting at david wallace’s house trying to save the branch. clueless but with good intentions. :) ]

  13. 109. Marie  

    It was great seeing Michael’s ex lovers again; crazy Jan singing to adorable little Assy, Carol and Helene.

    I did however not like how Holly blew Michael off. I want her and Michael to get together so that he could finally start the family he always wanted. Holly is Michael’s Pam to Jim. They are soulmates, no matter how long she’s been dating A.J.

  14. 108. Thomas R  

    “Holly didn’t even open the classifieds.”

    Actually I think they did say in “Employee Transfer” that they talked about getting jobs in the other’s towns. Scranton is presumably better than it was when my Aunt visited there, but in Fall of 2008 I don’t think it was exactly crawling with decent jobs. Still sometimes I did get the sense the relationship meant more to him or at least that she assumed it being so short it shouldn’t be that important.

  15. 107. Tobeter  

    Was I the only one that recognized the guy in the cold open as ‘Kenny Strasser’ the guy who pretended to be a yoyo master and pranked several morning TV shows throughout the Midwest?


  16. 106. Cinema Goddess  

    There was a lot of build-up for this episode but I was kind of disappointed. The whole “Sex-Ed” thing was way over the top and like several others have commented, I am hoping that the focus will move from Andy to some of the other characters. I also thought it was weird when Jan called her daughter “Assy.” What kind of a nickname is that for a child? I did enjoy her singing though.

  17. 105. Mathews  

    hi from the uk here. been following this site for a few years, lurking around, first time posting!

    despite the change of pace in this episode or maybe because of it, i rarely laughed and was massively disappointed. this was probably the first episode where i didn’t really care what happened to michael or any of the cast. it felt completely lacking in heart.

    some of the lines were good sure, but you need the tension to make any of it worthwhile. rehashing michael’s old relationships was uninteresting and a bit desperate, not to mention the cold open and andy.

    it just all feels tired and any emotion is transparently manufactured to the point where it’s hard to care. last season did have some fantastic eps and laughs, so hopefully they’ll rein in the quality and rely on a nice mix of subtle and classic michael+dwight antics :)

  18. 104. Josh Hayes  

    Season 7 is off to a great start, which is a relief considering how lackluster I felt season 6 largely was. I know some feel that the relief is just due to lesser seriousness, but it isn’t. For the first time since season 4 and the Michael Scott Paper saga of season 5, I’m seeing cohesive episodes- but more importantly- they’re funny and I’m getting a clear picture of the direction the season is moving in. It seems that they have an organized agenda vs. a boatload of random “stuff” (ex: the unused Ryan/Dwight storyline to bring down Jim last year).

    All that said and to end my ramble… I felt this episode was hilarious. Nepotism was a fine premiere, Counseling was good, and Andy’s Play was unique. Not gut-bustingly funny, but a fun watch. This episode, Sex Ed, had it all. It would fit right in there with a season 3 episode. The only other time I said that in the past year and a half was The Delivery.

  19. 103. tanster  

    Hey everybody,

    I chatted with a producer from The Office this afternoon, who confirms that yes, that was indeed Amy Ryan’s voice on the telephone!

    I can tell you firsthand from visiting the set, every phone call is always the real deal with the real characters/actors. :)

  20. 102. Ann Marie  

    I agree with those who want more Jim.

    And please give Andy something else to do besides trying to win Erin back. Andy’s fallen in love too quickly too many times for me to believe he’s really in love with Erin, or for me to root for their relationship. (Andy tried to date Pam, asked Angela to marry him way too early, and remember Stanley’s customer who he also he was instantly in love with?) I’m just really done with Andy & Erin.

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