The Office: Stress Relief, 5.14-15
Sunday, February 1st, 2009 | 222 comments
W: Paul Lieberstein, D: Jeffrey Blitz
Summary (NBC): After Dwight’s fire safety seminar goes awry, he must make amends to the stressed-out office. Michael tries a number of ways to get his employees to relax before discovering that he is the number one stressor at work. So that people won’t feel afraid of him, he insists on a no-holds-barred roast of himself. Also, while watching a pirated movie, Andy is convinced that Jim and Pam are film gurus. One-hour long, follows Super Bowl. Read more about this episode here.
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Favorite quotes
Dwight: It’s my own fault for using PowerPoint. PowerPoint is boring.
Dwight: Today, smoking is going to save lives.
Angela: Did you bring your jerky in again?
Michael: Stay f*cking calm!
Dwight: Have you ever seen a burn victim?
Oscar: Stay alive, I’m getting help!
Angela: I only weigh 82 pounds!
Angela: Save Bandit!
Dwight: Use the surge of fear and adrenalin to sharpen your decision-making!
Dwight: It’s not real, Stanley. Don’t have a heart attack!
Michael: Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley!
Dwight: A lot of ideas were not appreciated in their time.
Michael: Electricity.
Dwight: Shampoo.
Dwight: I did not kill anyone. Stanley was attacked by his own heart.
Michael: I’m not a mind reader, David.
Michael: We should take a part of his pay and donate it to the charity of your choice. Something that Dwight doesn’t like.
Dwight: PETA.
Dwight: I am planning a bomb scare that should really get the blood pumping.
Michael: An office is for not dying.
Michael: An office is a place where dreams come true.
Stanley: If I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die. I’m going to die.
Michael: No rest for the sick.
Stanley: I feel like I’m working in my own casket.
Michael: C’mon, Stanley! You’re losing you!
Michael: No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Kevin. You don’t do anything.
Michael: I will divide and then count to it.
Creed: You were in the parking lot earlier! That’s how I know you!
Creed: He has no wallet. I checked.
David: Can you tell me why you had to cut the face off the dummy?
Michael: We start with the dummy, and we learn from our mistakes, and now Dwight knows not to cut the face off of a real person.
Andy: Hope you brought your appetitos, m’lady, m’tuna.
Pam: Jim’s been great. But I’m going to need to buy my dad a robe.
Andy: Jim and Pam are like, movie geniuses. They’re catching things that are totally going over my head.
Dwight (reading statement): “I state my regret.”
Phyllis: You almost killed Stanley.
Dwight: Yeah right. I filled him full of butter and sugar for 50 years and forced him not to exercise.
Dwight: Sign it! Sign it now!
Michael: My god, if you’re wearing a dress, please keep your knees together, nobody wants to see that, ohm …
Michael: That one makes me think of death. It’s kind of nice.
Michael: Racism is dead, Stanley.
Michael: Oscar? Would you reach over and touch his thing? That’s what he said!
Kevin: Michael, I think YOU’RE what’s stressing everybody out.
Michael: You never expect that you’re the killer. It’s a great twist. Great twist.
Michael: Those shoulder pads are really boss, man.
Michael: And I looked so good in a perm and shoulder pads.
Michael: But now ‘boss’ is just slang for ‘jerk in charge.’
Michael: Who here has the Comedy Central Roast Channel?
Oscar: I consider myself a good person. But I’m going to try to make him cry.
Michael: I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this.
Michael: Lower the mike for the midget!
Angela: If you ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott.
Angela: I don’t normally enjoy making people laugh.
Meredith: Michael, you are the reason I drink. You are the reason I live to forget.
Michael: Nope. Friends only. Friends only!
Jim: The quote was “Cut off your nose to spider face.”
Dwight: You pathetic, short little man. You don’t have any friends or any family or any land!
Pam: If it were an iPod, it would be a Shuffle.
Andy: What I hate about you, you really suck as a boss …
Michael: And my thing isn’t tiny, it’s average, so …
Dwight: He’s either deeply depressed, or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain.
Creed: What’s a text?
Sam: Lily! Push the reverse button! Reverse the button!
Pam: When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that. I guess it also means that sometimes love affairs look different to the people inside them.
Michael: You slept with so many guys, you’re starting to look like one.
Michael: Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom, roasted!
Michael: Andy, Cornell called. They think you suck. And you’re gayer than Oscar! Boom, roasted!
Rating
In a poll conducted Feb. 1-5, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.89/10
Photos
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Did anyone else notice after the first meeting where Dwight says “Well, I guess we papered over that pretty nicely.” Anyone? Cuz Dunder-Mifflin is a PAPER COMPANY :D bah ha ha. Favorite episode of the show, hands down
Where’s Angela? There you are. I didn’t see you behind that grain of rice. Boom, roasted.
I, for one loved the pirated movie. Mainly b/c it gave Andy such an awesome way to shine. “This muffin is bad”. It also was a great parody to me of “serious” films that I usually find ridiculous.
A little moment that I only noticed the second time I watched it. David Wallace says something about the CPR dummy costing thirty five hundred dollars. Michael replies, “wow, five thousand three hundred dollars” Wallace gives a classic double take. A very small moment, yet classic.
Oh, okay. Thanks anyways!
Tanster, do you know when the “Stress Relief” Q&A with Paul Lieberstein is going to go up?
[from tanster: no, haven't received the answers from paul yet.]
I have to add that the scene of Angela throwing her cat up in the ceiling was brilliant!
I thought Dwight’s behavior, the effects of it, and his meetings with David Wallace were hilarious! That plastic mask was truly horrific! I loved it!
I also really enjoyed the ridiculous and totally inappropriate movie with Cloris Leachman and Jack Black. It was so funny!!
While I thought the episode was decent (and I haven’t been that impressed with this season so far) I want to know what was up with the Pam’s Father/Divorce story arc. Was this put in to kill time or foreshadowing or what? Is it me or does it seem like they are just trying too hard lately?
Wonderful episode, but… why wasn’t Dwight fired for almost causing a co-worker’s death and causing general terror in the office? Is it because David Wallace thinks Michael is some sort of “secret genius” and doesn’t want to mess that up?
This episode was at least my favorite episode of any T.V. show ever. It was brilliant. The opening scene couldn’t have been more perfect. John and Jenna were amazing and I loved Michael feeding the birds that “flew west for the winter”.
That was the best episode from season5! The Panic was fantastic, i had to stop playing the video, to laugh. (Bandit falls down, oscar stuck in, kevin broke the machine :D:D) and I loved Andy’s songs (What i hate about you, stayin alive)
Great episode! Did anyone else notice that Michael skipped Phyllis when he was roasting everyone? I wonder why…
I loved this episode soooooo much!!! Opening was hilarious, i keep saying Boom Roasted every chance i get, Jam was amazing as always, but my favorite part was Creed saying “What’s a text?”
I guess I am in the minority here. I thought this was a hit and miss episode. Everything with Andy and JAM could have been cut. It seemed to me that NBC just wanted an advertisement to say ‘Here’s Jack Black and Jessica Alba’. It doesn’t seem like it’s an idea where the office writers went to NBC and said “we need two recognizable names for this script we are writing.” The Roast, and Michael’s stress relief ideas were very funny. They could have shortened this down to a perfect half hour episode.
On the bright side, both Jenna and John show why they should be best supporting actress and actor.
This was probably the best episode this season! The quotes list needs more from Kelly. Her lines at the roast were amazing!
One of the best episodes in Office history. The opening scene was absolutely incredible. The CPR class had me laughing really loudly. The roast of Michael was spot on and his “boom, roasted” sequence at the end was classic. And, of course, the bittersweet moment with Pam and Jim. I am so happy 22 million people saw this show for what it is: the BEST show on TV.
Did anyone else notice that Jenna was wearing her UGG boots in the CPR conference scene? Thought that was funny
#197 Night Swept: I completely, totally, 100% agree with you!
I think this has probably already been mentioned, but I rewatched the opening scene and when they go through the kitchen Phyllis says she forgot her purse and Stanley yells “Leave it, woman!”
THIS WAS AMAZING!!! The opening was so intense. I think that was the best cold open I have seen EVER! Everything was funny, it wasn’t stressed. We had weird awkward moments, small plot development with Jim and Pam, that essentially brought us back to where we like them, there was a hilarious boot legged movie and you barely noticed the guests stars. It was just AMAZING!! I have nothing to say against this episode unlike some other ones this season. OH THANK GOD FOR RETURNING OFFICE AWESOMENESS! I HEART PAUL LIEB!