The Office: Baby Shower, 5.04

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The Office

Writer: Aaron Shure, Director: Greg Daniels

Summary (NBC): Michael practices for the birth of Jan’s baby by having Dwight go over possible birthing scenarios. Michael tells Holly that he will pretend to dislike her for Jan’s benefit.

The Office Baby Shower rating

In a poll conducted Oct. 16-20, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.74/10

See all The Office Season 5 ratings.

The Office Baby Shower quotes

Jim: Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight.

Jim: This baby will be related to Michael through … delusion.

Michael: Andy, would you like to have my baby?

Michael: Scream it out! Scream it out!

Dwight: Growing up, I performed my own circumcision.

Dwight: Do you have the Sharpie? Do you have the Sharpie?

Dwight: Butter. Newborns are slippery.

Michael: This is going to be the happiest day of my life.

Michael: Phyllis, did you get the live storks?

Angela: This is your boy bowl. With the name, “Chevy.”

Angela: Michael wrote down “Astird.”

Michael: Well you know what? Where’s my golden shower?

Phyllis: I’m no longer under Angela’s heel, and her little grape head is under mine.

Michael: Pump it!

Jim: Who’s Sarikaya Komzin?

Angela: I hope you two are very happy together. Pervert.

Michael: She is in the terminal stages of her pregnancy.

Michael: I am doing this to pay respect to her bloated feelings.

Stanley: You think my nipples don’t get sore, too?

Michael: I try to pick up and hold a baby every day.

Michael: If a baby were president, there would be no taxes, there would be no war.

Michael: It would be a better screenplay idea than a serious suggestion.

Michael: I’m fine, weirdo. Such an HR weirdo.

Dwight: $1,200 is what I spent on my whole bomb shelter.

Jim: The song is about losing your virginity next to a church.

Jan: Oh yeah, the afterbirth floats.

Creed: Must be like the tide at Omaha Beach.

Jan: Remind me to talk to you about Astrid’s 529.

Michael: I usually love babies, but when I held Astrid, I just felt … shortchanged.

Darryl: You want to hold me, and see how you feel?

Holly: Oh, I think she’s on a sales call. Waah. More paper. Waah.

Michael: She smells like old tomatoes. And dirt.

Dwight: I like to call this, The Bumper Test.

Jan: There’s one more thing you can do for me. Don’t date Holly.

Michael: I didn’t feel much when I held Astrid. But I got a good feeling from Holly.

Icon by pessimistreader.

269 comments

  1. HILARIOUS!

    Loved the scene between Andy and Angela, CLASSIC! It was one of the best episodes so far, except for the Jim/Pam storyline.

    “I need to talk to Holly about her hygiene. She smells like dead tomatoes and dirt.”

  2. Ahhhh I really liked this episode ^^ I went from laughing to feeling bad for Michael to marveling at Dwight’s determination to test/destroy Jan’s 1,200 dollar stroller. This episode had a little bit of everything =) Awesome.

  3. I can’t stand Jan (“DON’T DATE HOLLY.” WHAT?!), but I loved all the character growth Michael experienced here. I absolutely adored the emotions between him and Holly!

    The editing in the epilogue was amazing. I couldn’t help but smile.

  4. Hmmm…very interesting episode. Some of the best lines were quick and if you blinked, you missed them.

    I think my fave was Creed’s comment about Jan’s birth process being “..like the beach at Normandy”.

    LOVED the ending with Jim and Pam – how many of us have been in that situation?

    L-O-V-E-D the Michael/Holly moment – that was fantastic!

    btw – Melora has a great voice!

  5. Loved everything about this episode! Though Jam had an “off” day, the ending was adorable. Jan’s singing was priceless and Michael and Holly are SO CUTE!

  6. Great episode!!!

    Was one of the babies which Michael holds Mr Trouble (Regis’s grandson – Mike Schur’s son)?? I wonder how many of the other babies belong to employees or cast members!?!

  7. It felt good to laugh out loud! I feel that this one was definitely season 2 caliber, something that I haven’t been able to claim about an episode in quite a while!

  8. This episode was so much funnier than last week’s. I was happy to see Dwight up to his crazy antics again. I enjoyed him testing the durability of the stroller.

    I really thought that Michael was going to kiss Holly at the end; I really wanted him to, but the hug was very sweet nonetheless.

    Also, what a rough day for Jim and Pam. Every couple has their bad days. The ending between them was sad, but I’m sure they’ll be back on track in no time. I really wanted see their reactions to each other messages.

  9. My favorite of Season 5 so far. I loved the “Astird” bit, Michael and Holly, seeing Michael holding all those babies, and how Jim and Pam, who are obviously very in-sync, felt very out-of-sync. Such a sweet ending. I wish I could’ve looked at all the baby pictures carefully…Phyllis was adorable! Too bad Astrid couldn’t deliver that “baby daddy” feeling.

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