The Office: Christening, 7.07

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The Office Christening

Writer: Peter Ocko, Director: Alex Hardcastle

Summary (NBC): Pam and Jim’s baby, Cece, gets christened and Michael invites the entire office to celebrate.

The Office Christening extras

The Office Christening rating

In a poll conducted November 4-8, 2010, Tallyheads rated this episode: 5.58/10

See all The Office Season 7 ratings.

The Office Christening quotes

Kelly: I heard your mama has more bacteria per square inch than a toilet seat.

Dwight: Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in Transylvania? ‘Cause of the euro.

Dwight: If Sabre really cared about our well-being, they would set up hand de-sanitizing stations. A simple bowl at every juncture, filled with dirt, vomit, fecal matter.

Dwight: I don’t know why everyone doesn’t do this. Maybe they have something against living forever.

Ryan: I hope you brought your pipes. We’re about to smoke the opium of the masses.

Michael: It’s not a day for just Jim or Pam or the baby or me. It is about us all. And I thought we should all celebrate my joy, and our, and all of our joys.

Andy: Does the Nard Dog want nard pups? Yeah, I want a big ol’ litter of nard pups, all jumping around sucking on the teat. Put ’em in a box, give ’em to my neighbors. Yeah, I want kids.

Michael: I got an offer that you can’t refuse. Scooch over.

Michael: Scooch. Before I shoot you in the head.

Michael: You have great seats. Enjoy the show.

Michael: Cece is turning out to be a little b-i-t-c-h.

Ryan: I’ve heard of that place. If you go to Cabo San Lucas, all the prostitutes are from Cabo Corrientes.

Toby: Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

Jim: Cece, no! No no no, not on the dress! Cece stop!

Ryan: For all their generosity of spirit, they password-protect their wireless?

Michael: I am feeling this. Call it the holy spirit or the passion of the Christ, I am lovin’ these people!

Pam: We’re going to need a loaves and fishes kind of miracle to feed them all!
Angela: Jesus is not your caterer.

Michael: No I insist. After me.

Stanley: This is not the meal I was promised.

Kevin: Sometimes, Michael. Sometimes.

Ryan: Teach for America girls are way hotter. But they’re nuts!

Stanley: I would run to Mexico if that’s where the sandwiches are.

Dwight: You want to know my 11th commandment? I will not be undersold. I am ready to love thy neighbor with these kind of discounts.

Andy: What if the moon was your car and Jupiter was your hair brush?

Jim: I think that was Sconesy Cider. Noted baptism reception critic.

Michael: Let’s go help Africa. Let’s go build an airport. We’ll start small. We’ll have a carwash. We’ll send some cheerleaders to regionals.

Darryl: We are hanging out. Right now. You want some more of this?

Michael: These are church-going people. And they know how to party.

Michael: You’re mean. You’re mean girls. Like the movie “Mean Girls.”

Michael: If you don’t stop worrying so much about what you’re going to put in your gullet, you’re going to die in about a month!

Michael: Tell them that I died and I turned into an angel.

Erin: I wish I had a job that I could just leave.

Andy: Save me an aisle seat, Michael! I’m coming!

Michael: Everybody thinks that I am crazy, and that tells me that I am the sanest person I know.

Toby: Why you always got to be so mean to me?

Andy: Do you smell like a weird, warm cheese?

Jim: Stop that tiny blonde woman! She stole my baby!

Jim: Travel safe, Angela.

Kevin: What kind of a person steals scones from a baby?

Michael: You guys are young, that’s great. You want to give back to society, I’ve done that. I need to take.

Michael: Go save the world. We’ll keep an eye on America for you.

Michael: It is so nice to be back in a country that has movies.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.


  1. Am I the only one who thinks this goes a little too far? What does this have to do with the office..

  2. Even as a devout Catholic, I am not offended at all with Dwight using this prime opportunity for self promotion…It’s who he is.

    I actually laughed out loud here in the office after watching it.

    Props to Dwight!

  3. So funny! People need to stop being so uptight! I’m not sure if some people have ever watched The Office but a lot of episodes don’t have to do with “the office”. Can’t wait til Thursday!

  4. Jasper, I think you just may be alone in that thought. It’s not about the “office” building; it’s about the characters we love. :) That was “so Dwight.” I can’t wait for this episode!

  5. I don’t know why I am saying this but I hope there is more Ryan in this one. I recently saw “Manager and Salesman” from season 6 and he is a damn funny guy. I always feel like he never has enough lines.

  6. LOVED the Arcade Fire shoutout! Unfortunately, that’s about it. Michael and Andy getting on the bus to Mexico was in the realm of Michael kidnapping the pizza kid and Angela licking her cat as far as over the top and lazy writing is concerned.

  7. The baby they have playing Cece is adorable. Other than a couple of good one liners this was not too enjoyable for me. It’s a shame because I was so excited this week for this one.

  8. Terrible, terrible episode tonight. The only funny part was the cold opening. I wasn’t offended for any religious reason, the episode just felt slapped together with no real plot, at all, and Michael and Jim were way too over the top.

  9. Wow. Years of Ryan being an obnoxious jerkface and I’ve always loved him, but it finally happened. He finally got on my nerves tonight.

    Why Peter Ocko? Why?

  10. Funny episode! While watching tonight I got a pang of sadness in watching Michael. I’m gonna miss him when he really does leave. Regardless, that was a great performance by Steve tonight! I really hope he gets the Emmy this year!!!

  11. I really enjoyed seeing Ryan get more screen time. Overall, weakest episode for me so far. Vaguely reminded me of “Phyllis’ Wedding” but I’m glad Michael didn’t go THAT far.

  12. Other than the cast trying to figure out the wireless password, I thought this episode was two thumbs down.
    Not a lot of bright spots. Hopefully this is just a small speed bump in what has been a great season 7.

  13. Worst episode of the season. Not really all that funny, and Michael getting on the bus got kinda pointless….oh well, the rest of the season’s been good.

  14. I enjoyed it. It wasn’t the best episode ever, but it was far from the worst.

    It kept me entertained and that’s all I can ask for :)

  15. This season gets worse every episode. After all these seasons this episode was my last. The writing is lame. The acting is non-existent. There is no plot. It’s not funny. . . and I’m sick of Andy’s stupid vocals.

  16. Worst episode of the season, hands down. No plot whatsoever-just random moments which themselves could have been a plot, but together were just bizarre.

    The godparents are people Jim and Pam have known for maybe a year, tops? Not Jim’s brothers, Pam’s sister, her best friend Isabel?

    Way too many sitcom-y moments. The old person loses the baby. Too many guests show up and there’s not enough food. Cece has to wear another outfit for her christening. Has the Office devolved to that?

    How did Michael get on the bus with no problems? I have never heard of a single service trip where the participants did not have to pay and prepare way ahead of time.

    In general, nothing made sense, nothing was developed, and what was I guess supposed to be funny (Toby? Did not get the point of his vignette) fell very flat. I did not have huge expectations for this one-as opposed to my other non-favorite of this season, Sex Ed-but I hate to see the Office sink this low.

  17. As someone who routinely eats out of trash cans and dumpsters, Dwight’s rant in the cold open was too startlingly similar to my own ranting… I am always unnerved when I discover I share something in common with Dwight.

    Commercial’s over, back to watching the episode!

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