The Office: Branch Wars, 4.10

Thursday, November 1st, 2007 | 320 comments


The Office

W: Mindy Kaling, D: Joss Whedon

Summary (NBC): When Karen tries to woo Stanley away from Scranton, Michael fights back, dragging her ex, Jim, into his war. Meanwhile, the existence of a “Finer Things Club” further disturbs Dunder Mifflin’s calm. Directed by Joss Whedon.

Icon courtesy of pessimistreader.


Favorite quotes

Michael: Most of the time, I will be with Ryan. Or Darryl.

Stanley: I don’t understand why sleeping at your desk is better than you not being here.

Michael: You completely misinterpreted my tone.

Michael: Clearly, Karen is trying to get back at us because Jim dumped her.

Michael: You cannot take the hilarious black guy from the office.

Michael: The smile. Those big, watery red eyes. I don’t know how George Bush did it when Colin Powell left.

Michael: Mo money, mo problems, Stanley. You of all people should know that.

Oscar: Besides having sex with men, I would say The Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me.

Michael: Fillipellers, how they hangin’?

Michael: You may have Toby.

Michael: Toby is the worst. That was a bluff.

Michael: Do you like magic?

Michael: I’m going to grant you three wishes — to move to Scranton, to have a great job, and to be my best friend.

Ben Nugent: Aren’t you the guy that hit the woman with your car?

Michael: Scranton is not lame. Scranton is the cool, fun branch. We’re like Animal House.

Michael: We’re getting crapped on. Word is our branch sucks.

Michael: I have no words.

Dwight: I guess there’s no sales call today.

Jim: We’re going to Utica?

Jim: I’m not gonna go further piss off my ex-girlfriend.

Dwight: Yeah c’mon. It’ll be so badass.

Jim: So the deal was, Dwight doesn’t blow anything up, and I wear a costume. And a mustache.

Michael: So why did you and Karen break up? Was it the sex?

Jim: Why don’t we play that alphabet game that you were talking about?

Michael: Dwight, are you peeing?

Dwight: Hey! You’re making me spray!

Dwight: I think I cut my penis on the lid.

Andy: Pam, these finger sandwiches look finger-lickin’ delicious, Pam.

Andy: The Finer Things Club is the most exclusive club in this office. Naturally, it’s where I need to be. The Party Planning Committee is my backup, and Kevin’s band is my safety.

Andy: Why can’t I be in the club?

Michael: Afro wig? Do you want the Afro wig?

Jim: This is the dumbest thing we’ve ever done.

Phyllis: Someone needs to clean it. It smells like popcorn.

Andy: I’m gonna miss you, man. You’ve been like an uncle to me. Like a kind old Uncle Remus.

Jim: You really don’t need to be updating me as much as you’re updating me.

Dwight: Hello, we’re warehouse workers. Would you like more proof?

Dwight: The eyes are the groin of the head.

Michael: I’m losing control of my bladder!

Michael: Take her to a motel. Make love to her, Jim.

Michael: Just climb on top of her and think about Stanley.

Michael: Jim, if this is it for me, promise me something. Host the Dundies.

Karen: Seeing him climb out of a PT Cruiser in a lady’s warehouse uniform … felt pretty good.

Dwight: Then we will burn Utica to the ground.

Michael: Fly away, sweet little bird. Fly away and be free.

Michael: Pam, I’m going to need some help writing a want ad.

Michael: “Wanted. Middle-aged black man with sass. Big butt. Bigger heart.”

Stanley: How on earth did Michael call my bluff? Is he some sort of secret genius? Sometimes I say crazy things.

Jim: Angela’s Ashes. Top o’ the mornin’ to it. Frankie’s prose is finer than a pot of gold. Say I.



Find a summary of Season 4 ratings here.


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  1. 320. Proposed  

    who else thought jim was just so sexy in that irish accent? say i!

  2. 319. Agent Michael Scarn  

    My favorite part of this episode was when Michael called Karen, Filapellers, and then asked her how they were hanging. I almost fell out of my chair.

  3. 318. ShruteBeets  

    This wasn’t Karen’s last appearance, right?
    I hope not. I love bitter, immature, can’t control herself, cry for weeks, Karen.
    Was that too hard?
    That’s what she said!!!

  4. 317. Pu'u  

    The teapot callback was GREAT!

    It was extra funny for me to see the teapot being used; all I can think about is Dwight shoving it up his nose.

    “…beat the traffic, uhhm…”

  5. 316. Terrarium  

    Am I the only one who thinks Karen looks like a gypsy?

  6. 315. FancyFeast  

    “Jim, if this is it for me, promise me something. Host the Dundies.”

    LMAO! My favorite quote from this episode.

    I wish they would do another Dundies episode. I want to see drunk Pam again.

  7. 314. Tammy  

    I’ve been reading everyone’s comments on this episode, and I’d like to know where is all the love for Pam and Jam???? Jam fans have wanted these 2 together forever. Now that they are, it seems that it’s not good enough. I think Jim and Pam are perfect together this season.

  8. 313. FancyFeast  

    #330 I agree, just because Pam is only a receptionist does not mean she does not have a lot of knowledge on different subjects.

    A lot of people are over-qualified for their jobs. I once worked with a woman who could be a historian because of so much information she knew. But she was a telephone operator.

  9. 312. HinduHalloween  

    I’m surprised folks think Pam isn’t really into the Finer Things Club. I think she is, very much so. Pam has been the “arty” type since high school, according to Booze Cruise.

  10. 311. New York Sushi  

    For those wondering how Toby happened to be in the FTC, I assume it’s because he gets to hang out with Pam sans Jim. Hope springs eternal.

    I wasn’t feeling the A and B stories, but I loved every word that came out of Stanley’s mouth, right up to the uncharacteristic chuckle when he considered whether Michael was a secret “genius.”

  11. 310. Kristincredible  

    Thanks for pointing that out,Greg!
    Those subtle little things are what make this show great.

  12. 309. Greg  

    Did anyone happen to pick up on which tea pot Pam was using to serve tea during the Finer Things Club scenes???

  13. 308. Clea  

    I actually don’t think Pam finds the club goofy at all…which makes her much more difficult to relate to than she used to be. I guess her confidence has done a lot for her. If you compare her ability to discuss artwork in “Business School” with the insight displayed in “Branch Wars” it’s a pretty pronounced difference.

  14. 307. Hers was bigger  

    Pam is and has always been intelligent. The difference is that she has newfound confidence and is no longer afraid of speaking her mind on a variety of subjects, including (but not limited to) her relationships, office politics, art and literature. In any case, although many people seem to think that Pam takes FTC seriously, she’s really too smart for that. I think she sees it as a fun outlet, but she knows that being part of an office club is pretty goofy. Note how she says “it’s very exclusive.” Pam isn’t a genius, but she’s a critical thinker and a sane mind in an office full of insanity.

    As far as being just a receptionist, I’m sure many of us have met people that are far too intelligent for their current paychecks or positions in life.

  15. 306. Clea  

    #322: I completely agree. Although I get that Pam has grown as a person, people don’t usually become intellectual all of a sudden. I find it harder to believe that the Pam who analyzes literature and knows that Forster made “brave” choices would still be working as a receptionist after all these years…

  16. 305. Hers was bigger  


    I think that seeing Jim so down is very telling. People have mentioned this in their comments, but Pam has grown a lot. Now it might be Jim’s turn. I just hope he never quits DM, although that feels like what I would do in his situation. He doesn’t like selling paper, and he’s not interested in a promotion. However, he’s really good at what he does, it just comes naturally for him. Maybe he’ll catch on to that and actually care…about paper?

  17. 304. Kell  

    I actually read all 326 posts, whew! To reply to some of them…I think the FTC was at lunch (and therefore believably held at the office). Wearing the “costumes” for the “panty raid” is so Michael. He IS over the top…all the time, that’s his personality.

    I laughed a lot at this episode. At first I couldn’t get into the FTC, but the more it was featured throughout the episode, the more believable it felt. I loved Jim’s confrontation with Karen and the fact that she said, “You’re still doing this kind of thing?” about the prank. She didn’t want to participate in Jim’s pranks in Scranton and that drew him closer to Pam.

    I agree with a lot of comments that they need to do some episodes IN the office. Every episode this year has some sort of off-location stuff in it. It would be great to have something happening in the office with all the characters present (think The Alliance from Season 1…hilarious).

  18. 303. two thumbs  

    Put Jim, Michael, and Dwight in a car together and I just start to laugh immediately! Dwight and Oscar had some of the funniest one-liners ever in Office history.
    For those of you who didn’t like this episode, watch it again. For me, The Office gets better and better on repeat viewings. And the deleted scenes are very funny and telling!

  19. 302. janey  

    #355 – Pam mouths “sorry” to Oscar/Toby

  20. 301. Steve  

    What does Pam say at the very end of the show? She is saying something inaudible to Oscar when Jim gets called out by Toby and Oscar.

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