The Office: Dinner Party, 4.13

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The Office Dinner Party

Writers: Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky
Director: Paul Feig

Summary (NBC): Pam and Jim go to Jan and Michael’s house for dinner. When Andy and Angela are also invited to dinner, Dwight’s jealousy gets the best of him.

The Office Dinner Party extras

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The Office Dinner Party quotes

Michael: Do you have plans tonight?

Michael: These people are my friends, and I care about them!

Michael: How about you, Pam, mi casa, a little dinner, dancing, drinks?

Michael: You said you didn’t have plans.

Dwight: Michael, what time should I be arriving?
Michael: Dwight, it’s couples only. And besides, I only have six wine glasses.

Dwight: Does it bother me that I wasn’t invited to Michael’s dinner party?

Jan: This will be great to cook with.

Michael: Make yourself to home.

Michael: Totally your call, babe.

Jan: So sorry about this god-awful carpet.

Michael: As you can smell, there’s a lot of different odors going on in here.

Pam: So you have an office and a workspace.

Jan: I cannot create in the same space that I conduct business. I’m sure that you’re the same with your doodles!

Michael: Bond! James Bond Fire!

Jan: These walls used to be white. Like an asylum.

Michael: Guess what. White and eggshell white are exactly the same color.

Pam: What a cute bench.
Michael: Thanks! That’s my bed. Jan has, uh, some space issues so I crawl up on that puppy.

Jan: He fits perfectly!

Michael: I finally broke down and bought myself a plasma TV.

Michael: Voila. Right into the wall.

Michael: Sometimes I will just stand here and watch television for hours.

Michael: I think that is either pine or Nordic cherry.

Jan: It was between the neon beer sign and the Dundies.

Andy: What’s up, Tuna? We gonna have some tuna for dinner?

Angela: What am I supposed to do with this?

Jan: The osso bucco needs to braise for about three hours. Everything else is done.
Pam: Three hours from now, or three hours from earlier, like four o’clock?
Jan: You know, Pam, in Spain, they often don’t even start eating until midnight.
Michael: When in Rome …

Michael: Here’s to good friends.

Michael: Kinda sorta an oaky afterbirth.
Jim: What was that?

Angela: Sometimes I think she holds on to faxes.

Pam: I don’t care what they say about me. I just want to eat. Which I realize is a lot to ask for. At a dinner party.

Pam: Why didn’t you just say Forty Niners quarterback?

Michael: My-my-my-my turn!

Jan: Could you just simmer down.

Jim: Michael and Jan seem to be playing their own separate game. And it’s called let’s see how uncomfortable we can make our guests. And they’re both winning.

Jim: Pam, see you at home. Thank you so much.
Pam: Oh Jim, I don’t think you’re going to abandon this party here all by itself.

Pam: You can buy new stuff, but you can’t buy a new party.

Jan: No names, no rhyming, no soundalikes!

Michael: Rhymes with Parnold Schporzenegger.

Jan: Michael ran through the sliding glass door because he thought he heard the ice cream truck.

Michael: I shouldn’t say that jokingly because she will sue me. She loves to sue! She loves lawsuits.

Michael: That door was extremely clean, and it looked invisible.

Michael: She is the devil! I’m in hell! I’m burning. Help me!

Jan: You should see our bathroom after Michael takes a bath. Whew!

Pam: Not ever, not now, not then, not now, not ever, ever.

Michael: Have a hand.

Michael: For only $10,000, you could become a co-owner of “Serenity by Jan.”

Michael: Dwight brought glasses and a … person.

Michael: Snip, snap, snip, snap, snip, snap!

Michael: You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person!

Michael: I bought this condo to fill with children!

Jan: Let’s have a [bleep]in’ kid!

Jan: I hate my life.

Dwight: Great turkey leg.

Angela: I hate beet salad.

Angela: The thought of popping one of your beets in my mouth makes me want to vomit.

Michael: I can’t prove it, but I think she might be trying to poison me.

Pam: If she was going to poison the food of someone at that table, wouldn’t it be me? Michael’s former lover?

Michael: You know I have soft teeth.

Dwight: It’s purely carnal, and that’s all you need to know.

Jim: Would you write down your email, because I have just so many questions.

Michael: B.F.D. I’m a screenwriter.

Michael: Man, I would love to burn your candles!
Jan: You burn it, you buy it!
Michael: Oh good, I’ll be your first customer!
Jan: You’re hardly my first.
Michael: That’s what she said!

Michael: That is a $200 plasma screen TV you just killed!

Police officer: Not now, Dwight.

Michael: My girlfriend threw a Dundie at my TV. Plasma.

Pam: This is the best burger I have ever had, babe.

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