The Office: Secret Santa, 6.13

Thursday, December 10th, 2009 | 168 comments



W: Mindy Kaling, D: Randall Einhorn

Summary (NBC): Michael is outraged when Jim allows Phyllis to be Santa at the office Christmas party. Jim and Dwight try to get everyone into the holiday spirit despite the uncertainty with Dunder Mifflin. Meanwhile, Oscar has a secret crush.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.

The Office Secret Santa trivia

  • Watch the Secret Santa producer’s cut with additional footage!
  • Photos | Promos | Clips
  • From an April 2011 interview with Entertainment Weekly, The Office writer/producer Mindy Kaling chooses Secret Santa as her favorite Michael Scott episode: “My favorite moment is a scene in ‘Secret Santa’ (season 6), where Kevin sits on Michael’s lap. Michael has been angry and hurt all day that Phyllis got to be Santa, so against everyone’s wishes, he dresses up as a competitive Santa. Forget that Kevin, a grown man, is earnestly telling Santa all the toys he wants — it’s Steve’s reaction. When Kevin unburdens himself on Michael’s lap, Steve’s voice changed to this distressed, guttural mumble, showing the instantaneous agony he was in. This was literally a laugh out loud moment, because you can see me laughing in the background, completely breaking character.”

The Office Secret Santa quotes

Dwight: My diabolical plot is on hold for Christmas. My heart just melts with the sound of children singing.

Dwight: I’m just tired. The days are short. I don’t know. Maybe I’m depressed.

Dwight: We are unveiling an artificial tree. That will never die. Like the spirit of Christmas.

Stanley: We’re supposed to applaud you for taking a giant diaper off a fake tree?

Dwight: This was a successful unveiling! Go back to work!

Erin: My cat killed a turtle dove. The French hens have started pulling out my hair to make a nest.

Andy: Is it my fault that the first eight days there’s basically thirty birds?

Phyllis: I believe I have the right temperament and the figure to do the job well.

Phyllis: It’s been a long journey … but … I’m Santa Claus!

Creed: What if you’ve been really, really bad? More “evil” than strictly “wrong”?

Dwight: I had the exact same idea for catching Osama Bin Laden.

Dwight: He would assemble it to find himself … in jail!

Pam: Is it funny? I thought it was more interesting … than funny.

Pam: Oscar and the warehouse guy. Go Oscar! Go gay warehouse guy!

Michael: It’s insane! A woman Santa? Where does it stop?

Michael: I have a bunch of letters cut out of magazines in my desk. You can use those.

Michael: It’s a good thing Russia doesn’t exist anymore.

Michael: Why pay more to sit next to old Tranny Claus over there when you can on my lap?

Michael: Sit down on my lap and there will be no doubt! No, it’s not, like penis-wise.

Michael: I am so sorry that Phyllis hates you. And hates your body.

Kevin: Nobody’s ever let me sit on their lap before.

Michael: Okay, you know what you get? You get a thousand helium balloons attached to you so Santa doesn’t have to go through this again.
Kevin: Awesome.

Phyllis: Don’t make me get Bob involved.

Jim: You can’t yell out “I need this, I need this” as you pin down an employee on your lap.

Michael: With two Santas in the room, things get ruthless.

Kevin: Michael, I had you. I just want to try Phyllis.

Stanley: Well, unless the missing piece is a gun, you don’t have a gun.

Michael: It’s not like I’m asking people to buy me diamonds and broach pendants.

Michael: When you need my help because I am ruining everything, don’t look at me.

Pam: Oscar’s pâté is great. I could eat it all day, every day. How come the good ones are never straight, right?

Pam: Yes, they’re the only two gay guys I know. But they should be together.

Dwight: We don’t have a North Pole branch. Idiot.

Michael: It’s space garbage. Dwight’s going to be able to build himself a friend.

Michael: You’re going to h-e-l-l, double hockey sticks.

Michael: That’s fantastic. You can make another dress that goes past your feet.

Michael: His last name is Christ. He has the power of flight. He can heal leopards.

Michael: Phyllis, a woman, has uslurped my role as Santa.

Michael: Earlier today, this office needed a Santa. And then it needed a second Santa. And then it needed a Jesus. And now, it needs a Michael. And that’s one suit Phyllis cannot fit into.

Michael: That was a different guy. That was Jesus. Jesus sort of ruined the party. Hurt, petulant Jesus.

Michael: It’s fun to stay at the …
Dwight: Where. Holiday Inn.

Michael: You know what. Christmas isn’t about Santa or Jesus. It’s about the workplace.

Michael: And Stanley … you’re our mailman.

Michael: It’s hard for me to imagine a scenario where Meredith Palmer keeps her job but David Wallace does not.

Michael: I use my little girl voice. Bada bing, bada boom.

Meredith: How about us? It’s Meredith. By the way, your wife is a very lucky woman.

Dwight: I can use this for so many nuts! Macadamias, brazil nuts, pecans, almonds, clams, snails.

Michael: I would like an Xbox and a TV that’s compatible with an Xbox. And I’m sorry.

Michael: Oh god. Get a room, Santas.


In a poll conducted December 10-14, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.567/10


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  1. 168. Trent  

    i was re-watching this episode recently and during the part where kevin is sitting on michael’s lap, the whole cast is trying so hard not to laugh lol

  2. 167. Brittany  

    Hmm, I didn’t hear that, I’ll have to watch this episode again. Though, it does sound like David was just saying No, NOT(as in not fired) and then congratulations. But, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

  3. 166. LittleTuna  

    The way I understood it, when David says “No, NOT, congratulations” he’s saying that no, the branch wasn’t canned, and congratulations that they still had jobs.

  4. 165. ChristmasGoose  

    Did David really say, No, NOT congratulations. If so, then this arc could be different than most of us thought.

  5. 164. Arlie ♥ Jim  

    Did anyone else notice that when Michael says “So we’re not fired?” David replied, “No, NOT congratulations…” and trails off? The first time I watched it all I heard was the congratulations part, but when I saw the producers cut I heard what he said and thought, “Wait, what? What is that all about?!” I can’t wait to see where all this goes!

  6. 163. MrsEmilyKrasinski  

    Yes, Angela/Darryl FTW! I loved that they were being all cuddly at the end. I think it’s adorable. I hope they get together.

  7. 162. Brittany  

    -Asturd, Hey! You noticed the subtle Darryl/Angela moments, too? That’s a relief, I thought I might be reading into it too much, but if more than one person noticed it, then who knows?

  8. 161. Asturd  

    Loved the episode! Not offensive at all and full of laughs. I see a romance brewing between Angela and Darryl. And Andy was awesome at the end, won over Erin for sure! Can’t wait to see the new owners and what their characters are like. Good job keeping us guessing for this long amount of time how things are going to develop. Can’t wait!

  9. 160. ScubaCreed  

    Yeah, so I was a like a week late on this episode due to a business trip, but it was well worth the wait. So many quality moments and it ended on happy note. I love awkward Office, but this had a nice overall Christmas vibe to it. Also I had 12 years of Catholic school and I thought Michael’s petulant Jesus was hilarious! And “he heals leopards.”LOL. Also, for those who were upset about the lack of JAM, I figure they have been going light on JAM recently since Pam is due in February. Obviously, the few episodes leading up to and including the birth of JAM baby will be JAM heavy, and on the gooey “oh my gosh we’re having a baby” stuff too. I think it’s good they tried to give it a bit of break at the right time in the season.

  10. 159. Chris  

    Michael declaring Toby as the Antichrist was absolutely priceless. This, in addition to Phyllis’ threatening remark made to Jim, were among my favorite moments.

    I was surprised to read that many viewers did not care for this episode. I personally found it to be refreshing, particularly as we now have a bit of an idea in regards to the future of Dunder Mifflin and a change in its corporate structure.

  11. 158. Koos  

    This episode was fantastic. I loved that everyone received appropriate gifts (except for maybe Erin) and there were so many great lines. I agree with those who say that we needed a break from Jam anyway…loving Arin. Am I allowed to call Andy and Erin that haha

  12. 157. eastcoast_girl  

    Great having a funny Christmas episode. I also liked having some shock value added back into the show, in the form of clueless Michael playing Jesus. Lately the show had lost some of its edge for me, in having moments where my mouth literally falls open. Bravo Mindy Kaling!

  13. 156. Guido  

    Deck the halls with crappy gifts

  14. 155. Chevy  

    I don’t know if you can see it in the actual episode, but the Christmas card from Benihana Christmas (where Michael superimposed his face over Carol’s husband’s) is on Erin’s desk. I thought that was a nice touch. :)

  15. 154. cdv  

    I too was completely offended at Michael portraying Jesus and am glad to see I wasn’t the only one. I’m afraid you lost another fan with this episode. I can respect that people have different beliefs but I don’t go around making fun of them. To me, Jesus Christ is someone I take very seriously and I hope that The Office writers will consider that portraying Him in any form can be offensive to Christians.

  16. 153. Brittany  

    I loved it when Angela applauded Michael for dressing up as Jesus because I had started to applaud him a few seconds before when he said Jesus was the real meaning of Christmas(being a Christian I was thrilled . . . .until he said Jesus ruined the party, to which I complained a few moments before Anglea. . . .scary, Angela and I thinking alike, oooh, shudder. :)

  17. 152. Jan, really  

    Finally had time to watch the episode…worth the wait. What I need now are screen grabs. The Christmas episodes have a reputation for some sly set dressing. Who can forget the two blue ornaments hanging from Jim’s desk lamp from Christmas past?

    I want to know why the Merry Christmas banner got tagged with “Santa hates tears.” Also, something looked odd about the stuffed Santa in Michael’s office. Did anyone else notice any visual gags?

    On an unrelated note, for those of you unfamiliar with the origin of the old expression “loose as a goose,” let’s just say Erin’s car would be a mess.

  18. 151. Cayce80  

    To 133 “nv”.

    HA! I thought the same thing for a bout a split second! So glad I’m not the only one with a pervy mind. Office, what have you done to me?!

    I couldn’t even comment on my niece’s first band photo in which she’s holding her trumpet without thinking of a TWSS moment. My comment to her photo went as follows:
    “Aw, such memories. There’s a photo of me just like this at age 11 except that I’m holding a french horn in my hand. (That’s what she said).”

  19. 150. Cayce80  

    I LOVED this episode! It’s so fun to have another great Christmas episode. Moroccan Christmas was okay, but I missed the whole Christmas vibe from previous seasons. So this was refreshing.

    I loved Dwight’s line about having the same idea for Osama Bin Laden and how he’d piece together his gift to find himself in jail. I laughed out loud several times in this episode. It reminded me of seasons past, which is always a good thing.

  20. 149. busted, I'm your secret Santa  

    So I just tonight got around to watching this episode online because my DVR didn’t record it on Thurs. night. Let me just say – WELL worth the wait!! Quite possibly my favorite Christmas episode of the series! Every character contributed amazingly. I think Erin showed some character development in this episode -she actually got frustrated and a bit weirded out by Andy’s gifts and confronted him about it. But the ending…very cute :) Loved Michael as Jesus, Pam’s ever growing belly, Michael’s salty attitude during present opening, him spilling the bad news (a Michael Scott classic), everyone’s moment of celebration in Michael’s office, Kelly’s reaction to her New Moon poster (laughed out loud – my mom is a Twihard), Dwight and his toy, Green Day karaoke – I loved how they used a random GreenDay song as background music for cute little moments and it just worked somehow….ahhh just everything! This is a great episode to leave off on until January :) I’d give this episode a solid A, but “I forgot there was a such thing as an A-plus-plus.” :)

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