Writer: Amelie Gillette, Director: David Rogers
Summary (NBC): After Dwight gets assigned a special project at Sabre headquarters in Tallahassee, he and Andy try to decide which Scranton employees get to go with him. Meanwhile, Pam returns from her maternity leave.
The Office Special Project rating
In a poll conducted February 9-13, 2012, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.82/10
See all The Office Season 8 ratings.
The Office Special Project quotes
Manually transcribed by tanster :)
Dwight: You just had our baby. Our collective, Dunder Mifflin family baby.
Angela: Not everyone needs some long, luxurious, Parisian maternity leave.
Angela: Really? I feel like this big rhinoceros.
Pam: You’re allergic to walnuts, right, Kevin?
Kevin: Extremely. But I’m going to fight through it.
Pam: It’s okay, Angela. I have mommy brain, too.
Angela: Babies sleep a lot, Pam. If you feed them enough.
Angela: I wouldn’t know. I’m watching my weight.
Dwight: You can’t tantalize me.
Dwight: If you make me head of sales one more time, I swear.
Dwight: The Schrutes have a word for when everything in a man’s life comes together perfectly. Perfectenschlag. Right now, I am in it. I am so deep inside of Perfectenschlag right now. And, just to be clear, there is a second definition, perfect pork anus, which I don’t mean.
Andy: Did you know frogs can hear with their lungs? And that flamingos can have orgasms that last thirty minutes?
Erin: We’re pin twins!
Erin: When I saw it in CVS, it made me gag, too.
Darryl: I can’t tell if it’s a “we’re just friends” beanie, or a “I’m hot, you’re hot, let’s get popping” beanie.
Darryl: We’ll get to the meaning of the beanie.
Dwight: Pam, pack up your post-natal swimwear, make it a one-piece or this offer is rescinded.
Pam: I’ll fly anywhere for some good barbecue.
Dwight: No plus ones. This is for competent workers only.
Darryl: Super comfortable. Like sweatpants for my head.
Darryl: Wow. It’s like the Nation of Islam down here.
Val: I like to knit. Don’t hate.
Nate: “I’m glad you’re in my life. Happy Valentine’s Day.” Oh, Darryl.
Pam: Two question marks is kind of aggressive. You know, it’s like whaa-what?
Andy: Can I interest you in someone less essential? Like a Creed or a Meredith?
Dwight: Andy just gave me a chain with three weak links. Have you ever tried to use a chain with three weak links? I have. And now I no longer own an Arctic wolf.
Kelly: You want to call someone that texted you? You want to drive him away?
Kevin: Sometimes Batman’s got to take off his cape.
Angela: My baby is not a monster!
Dwight: Be proud of your enormous monster baby.
Stanley: Every shirt that I have that isn’t a work shirt is a Tommy Bahama. I’m the only person in this office that watches Burn Notice.
Dwight: That’s all Baltzer Glattfielder had. And now no one eats owls for Thanksgiving.
Dwight: PowerPoints are the peacocks of the business world. All show, no meat.
Andy: : It’s almost like we’re not all experiencing the same winter.
Dwight: I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to clear your head any more than it has been already. I think you need a workplace where the burdens of everyday life keep you tethered to reality.
Jim: Is it too dark to say that Cece is having an operation?
Jim: Do you shower at night or do you shower in the morning? ‘Cause I want to shower when you’re showering to save some water.
Jim: Is that the buzzer from Taboo?
Dwight: Shut up, maggot!
Dwight: How many of you have seen the documentary, Deliverance?
Dwight: You want to spend the rest of your life changing your husband’s colostomy bags?
Nate: They’re Nate coupons. Or Na-pons.
Darryl: Your mom’s name’s Brandon?
Darryl: I figured out where I stand. This is a love beanie.
Erin: I’m going to Florida. And I’m not coming back.
Dwight: Under the right manager, that’s not a bad team. Perfectenschlag.
Cathy (on the phone): All expenses paid. Yeah, Jim’s going to be there. That marriage is not good. Nobody knows better than me. Definitely we will. It’s three weeks in Tallahassee, what else is there to do.
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