The Office: The Delivery, 6.17-6.18

Thursday, March 4th, 2010 | 178 comments


Part 1: W: Danny Chun, D: Seth Gordon
Part 2: W: Charlie Grandy, D: Harold Ramis

Summary (NBC): Pam’s contractions begin but she and Jim are determined to wait it out as long as possible so they can have more time at the hospital. Meanwhile the rest of the office tries to distract Pam from the pain with food and entertainment. Michael anxiously waits for Pam and Jim’s baby to be born. Back at the office, Erin makes Andy jealous when she has lunch with Kevin. Guest star: Linda Purl.

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The Office The Delivery trivia

The Office The Delivery quotes

Dwight: My cousin came down with a case of that nasty new goat fungus.

Dwight: I need a baby. I’ll never outsell Jim and Pam without one.

Dwight: I’ve been noticing a gaping hole in my life. Sometimes I wake up cradling a gourd.

Kevin: I cooked my way through Julia Child’s cookbook, and now I’m halfway through the Twilight cookbook.

Kevin: I thought that maybe we should do something special for early dinner. One last Ultra Feast.

Jim: I do not plan on helping unless it’s a boy.
Pam: I cannot wait for that joke to be over.

Michael: Contraptions! She’s contrapting.

Pam: You know the baby’s not going to live here, right?

Jim: It wasn’t conceived here. Burning Man. Port-a-potty.
Michael: Ew! Yuck! TMI. How was it? I don’t want to know. Tell me later.

Michael: Weird I.T. nerd. Don’t get revenge on me, nerd.

Dwight: Bear my child.

Dwight: If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything.

Dwight: Let’s meet at 4pm in our old meeting spot and bang it out.

Jim: She’s the quarterback. I’m just the left tackle who happened to get her pregnant.

Andy: Word of advice. Speaking as a former baby.

Kelly: Omigod, Pam. You are a woman warrior.

Phyllis: I can put on lipstick the way Molly Ringwald does in ‘The Breakfast Club.’

Andy: I can do ‘The Evolution of Dance’ dance.

Dwight: Child will be breastfed by the mother for exactly six months, then weaned on to a nutrient-rich winter vegetable mash provided by the father, Dwight Schrute, hereafter referred to as Morpheus.

Kevin: For the love of God, Pam, do it for Ultra Feast!

Michael: Nobody touch Pam’s nipples! Think of Pam’s nipples as Toby’s grundle.

Meredith: I have a shirt like that in my car!

Kevin: Stick spicy food up her butt!

Jim: Oh and by the way, I hate that you’re helping her with this right now. Totally.

Jim: I’m not crazy. She’s crazy. I’m not crazy. She’s crazy.

Angela: No Star Trek names.

Michael: Too bad you didn’t have sex like 7-1/2 hours later. But you had to have the afternoon delight.

Michael: What? You want to eat cat food with Kevin and not go to the hospital?

Michael: What is October Feast?

Jim: We’re going to have a baby today. A really awesome baby.

Pam: I don’t want to have my baby here!

Dwight: You call the ambulance, I call the cops.

Michael: Should I bring a dictionary to the hospital?
Oscar: The hospital will provide dictionaries. Bring a thesaurus!

Michael: Wish me luck!

Dwight: Michael! Michael! This is where I saw that deer last week.

Dwight: I love escorting people. In fact a few years back, I put an ad in the paper starting an escort service. Got a lot of responses. Mostly creeps. Made a few friends.

Pam: Jim, I don’t want the first thing the baby hears to be the ‘Eight Mile’ soundtrack.

Michael: Do you want your kid to come out a lawyer? Right?

Michael: Where’s my little niblet?

Michael: I gotta go wash my eyes.

Michael: That kid is going to have a lot of hair.

Pam: You want to count her fingers and toes again?

Jim: Her name is Cecelia Marie Halpert, she’s 7 pounds 2 ounces, 18 inches, mother and daughter are doing great.

Jim: I am a diapering master. I have done little else in the past two months. There is nothing I cannot diaper. Go ahead. Try to think of something. I dare you.

Michael: Love you … as a friend.

Michael: The odds of them getting together were insurmountainable.

Michael: Who wants to live in a world where Stanley has two lovers and you don’t have any?

Meredith: I am never getting married. Like Clooney.

Michael: I am going to fill that empty hole in your body with another person.

Nurse: Oh good. You know everything.

Pam: She’s really tentative about latching. I want to keep her self-esteem up.

Michael: You gotta let the cookies cool before you pop them in your mouth.

Michael: Kevin has an enormous heart. Literally. He has an elephant heart.

Erin: Did you grow up around here?
Kevin: No.
Erin: So, you must have grown up around somewhere else?
Kevin: Yes.

Clarke: Actually, I’m the consultant. Got milk?

Pam: Come here, sweetie… oh my god! Wrong baby!

Jim: Can we get a late checkout?

Dwight: I couldn’t find your iPod.


In a poll conducted March 4-8, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.97/10


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  1. 178. Gina Meyers  

    Yes, I am the one that actually wrote the Twilight Cookbook. It does exist, and The Office is such a funny show!

  2. 177. Becky  

    @ 139 – I hated “Murder,” “Niagara,” and “The Lover.” I guess it’s a matter of opinion or at least a matter of character interpretation and sense of humor.

    Personally, I LOVED seeing Jim get upset and “frazzled.” It was great. He never loses his cool and it makes the relationship seem realistic. It shows they’re real people.

    Michael’s lines were spot on – “You had to have the afternoon delight, I understand!” BRILLIANT!!!!! It’s exactly what he would say in a situation like that.

    Andy talking about “Butt Mudd Brooks” was hilarious and perfect. ALL of Kevin’s lines were absolute brilliance. I felt like this episode was a perfect depiction of who all these characters are, and how they react under pressure. LOVED IT 10/10

  3. 176. Judy  

    What was the car Jim and Pam were driving in the hospital episode?

  4. 175. jazzfan  

    Whoever wrote that third deleted scene should be awarded some sort of TV “Pulitzer.” I’ve always had a sneaking suspicion that Jim and Pam are real people, and now I’m sure of it. *standing ovation*

  5. 174. jambaby  

    my favorite part was when they were wrapping the baby in the blanket and jim goes she’s really strong! careful, you’ll break her!….. great episode :)

  6. 173. eastcoast_girl  

    Good episode. I’m glad we’re seeing Dwangela again. I wish the writers would kick up Michael’s love life a notch too. Oh, and I hate the name Cecilia, but it’s better than Astrid.

  7. 172. FlonkertonChamp  

    and who thinks that jim and pam will get pregnant in season 8? why do i think this? jenna’s getting married… she may very well have a baby herself. (which would thrill angela, because she wants their kids to be bff.)

  8. 171. FlonkertonChamp  

    maybe jenna’s fiance played the lactation consultant because he’s the only person who’s actually allowed to touch jenna’s breasts.

  9. 170. Amanda  

    I knew that was Jenna’s fiance when he walked in! I was like “He looks really familiar”. How awesome for them to include him in it. Great episode.

  10. 169. nick beckett  

    good episode. Just that. I was expecting more…

  11. 168. Nicola  

    I agree with 168, overall the crazy experience of having your first baby was well portrayed. However the “breastfed the wrong baby” and “male lactation consultant” jokes hit the wrong note for me. They just wrecked the previously subtle and perceptive tone.

    I’m British and I have found American women are incredibly dedicated to breastfeeding, especially when it has to be combined with work outside the home. Kudos to all of you!!

  12. 167. AmandaJ  

    Having had three babies myself, I just felt that this episode had been written by people with direct experience of the first few days in a new baby’s life. The whole breastfeeding confusion, trial and error plot was spot on.

    You rarely see birth and new parenthood so true to life in a comedy…

  13. 166. LOON  

    200 word maximum!The Knox grad is Amy Rieckelman. Her scenes as Annie, Rolf’s girlfriend, were mostly cut, along wit the Rolf character hinself. Just a couple of shots of the 2 of them working in the kitchen. She also ran the saw as they ripped up the cabinets.

  14. 165. Jill  

    The nurse was so spot on. I’m still laughing thinking about her lines. And John’s freak-out with the books (“6 minutes – different, but not really”).

  15. 164. Ernie  

    Most of the episode was not funny. They need to stick to 1/2 hour episodes. I quit watching 45 minutes in. This is “The Office”, not “She’s having a Baby”.

  16. 163. Sarah  

    @ 163, I checked and the Knox grad was not Isabel, she is played by an actress named Kelen Coleman. I am not sure who she ended up playing…

  17. 162. June  

    159. Little Tuna — Erin was naming triple crown winners.

    160. floppyhair — I think she played “Isabel” the bridesmaid that Dwight hooked up with in ‘Niagara’ and kicked in the face during the wedding dance.

  18. 161. Gretchen  

    I haven’t read all 160+ comments, so I don’t know if anybody mentioned the fact that Rolf was helping Dwight remodel the kitchen?

  19. 160. Shane  

    Loved the episode! I know there are haters all over the web, but I seriously think the show is absolutely brilliant. John Krasinski did an AMAZING job in this episode. Well worth the wait!

  20. 159. floppyhair  

    Sorry if anyone asked this already, but who was the “Knox Grad” who was supposed to be appearing as someone’s “girlfriend”? The link was posted a few days ago…

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