The Office: Couples Discount, 9.15

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The Office: Couples Discount

Writer: Allison Silverman, Director: Troy Miller

Summary (NBC): Erin is nervous for Andy’s return — the office pairs off into pretend couples to take advantage of a Valentine’s Day discount at a local mini-mall. Erin assures Pete she will break up with Andy when he returns, but he has good reason to doubt her. Jim and Pam share a meal with Brian, the documentary’s sound man.

The Office Couples Discount extras

The Office Couples Discount rating

In a poll conducted February 7-11, 2013, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.35/10

See all The Office Season 9 ratings.

The Office Couples Discount quotes

Pam: And poof, he disappears.

Erin: I really want to have fun today, because tomorrow is going to be a nightmare.

Erin: I’m breaking up with him. Bam, Andy! How ya like me now?

Dwight: I really like Andy these days. He’s pretend, and he does exactly as I tell him to. All that will change when Real Andy comes back tomorrow. Unless he comes back as Pretend Dwight. In which case, we’re in for an epic, confusing showdown.

Kevin: I guess it’s goodbye chunky lemon milk.

Meredith: Let’s get some booze and some cocaine and just blow it out. No consequences.

Phyllis: You could probably just bring whoever it is you use to kill your loneliness.

Stanley: I’ll pretend to be your husband. I’m already sick of you so it’ll seem realistic.

Angela: They have a nail salon there, where I get my feet detailed. They use a watch repair kit.

Kevin: I’ll be your foot buddy!

Nellie: Clark, you will be my fake boyfriend so I can get the discount.
Clark: That’s what I do.

Nail salon lady: Your boyfriend, he look like a pretty girl.

Nellie: Now that you are developing, we should go and get you a training bra.

Nellie: Turns out, I can’t even be in a pretend relationship.

Pam: My dad can’t hear a thing, you could boom his whole life for him.

Dwight: You’re back. And you’re disgusting.

Andy: I guess I can cancel my order from, because the loafers have arrived!

Erin: I am really, really bad at breakups. Technically, I’m still dating my first grade boyfriend.

Dwight: Hey Burning Man, if it’s not selling out too much, you might want to throw on a tie.

Erin: He only emailed me four times.

Andy: Coolio? Are. We. Coolio?

Dwight: Two seconds of the Turd Dog, and he loses the biggest sale this branch has ever seen.

Clark: Do you have any idea what I had to do to get that sale from Jan?

Kevin: He just waltzes back in here like he owns the chunky lemon milk!

Dwight: And instead of a wolf, I cried, genetically engineered monster wolf.

Meredith: Meredith Palmer ain’t never been called no narc. Floozy, yes. Alky, check. Einstein sarcastically, you bet. But never, no narc. Vomit Mop, sure. Floor Meat, that’s me. Flesh Hoover, aye.

Pete: Why does no one stop her?

Andy: Let’s get back to busting some paper rhymes.

Jim: Who knows less about his marriage than the sound guy?

Phyllis: We started selling balloons.

Clark: Kathy Ireland signed on as the official spokesbabe of Dunder Mifflin.

Andy: Go, Kathy! She’s like 50.

Erin: You retweeted me a lot, to be fair.

Andy: If you fake it, I won’t be able to tell the difference. So I’ll feel good.

Pam: I think that you should stay and I think we should fight.

Jim: Alright, put your dukes up, Beesly.

Erin: And just so you know, I was worried you were dead. You were gone for three months!

David: Hey, Andy. Still here. What was that about three months?

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