The Office: Couples Discount, 9.15

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The Office: Couples Discount

Writer: Allison Silverman, Director: Troy Miller

Summary (NBC): Erin is nervous for Andy’s return — the office pairs off into pretend couples to take advantage of a Valentine’s Day discount at a local mini-mall. Erin assures Pete she will break up with Andy when he returns, but he has good reason to doubt her. Jim and Pam share a meal with Brian, the documentary’s sound man.

The Office Couples Discount extras

The Office Couples Discount rating

In a poll conducted February 7-11, 2013, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.35/10

See all The Office Season 9 ratings.

The Office Couples Discount quotes

Pam: And poof, he disappears.

Erin: I really want to have fun today, because tomorrow is going to be a nightmare.

Erin: I’m breaking up with him. Bam, Andy! How ya like me now?

Dwight: I really like Andy these days. He’s pretend, and he does exactly as I tell him to. All that will change when Real Andy comes back tomorrow. Unless he comes back as Pretend Dwight. In which case, we’re in for an epic, confusing showdown.

Kevin: I guess it’s goodbye chunky lemon milk.

Meredith: Let’s get some booze and some cocaine and just blow it out. No consequences.

Phyllis: You could probably just bring whoever it is you use to kill your loneliness.

Stanley: I’ll pretend to be your husband. I’m already sick of you so it’ll seem realistic.

Angela: They have a nail salon there, where I get my feet detailed. They use a watch repair kit.

Kevin: I’ll be your foot buddy!

Nellie: Clark, you will be my fake boyfriend so I can get the discount.
Clark: That’s what I do.

Nail salon lady: Your boyfriend, he look like a pretty girl.

Nellie: Now that you are developing, we should go and get you a training bra.

Nellie: Turns out, I can’t even be in a pretend relationship.

Pam: My dad can’t hear a thing, you could boom his whole life for him.

Dwight: You’re back. And you’re disgusting.

Andy: I guess I can cancel my order from, because the loafers have arrived!

Erin: I am really, really bad at breakups. Technically, I’m still dating my first grade boyfriend.

Dwight: Hey Burning Man, if it’s not selling out too much, you might want to throw on a tie.

Erin: He only emailed me four times.

Andy: Coolio? Are. We. Coolio?

Dwight: Two seconds of the Turd Dog, and he loses the biggest sale this branch has ever seen.

Clark: Do you have any idea what I had to do to get that sale from Jan?

Kevin: He just waltzes back in here like he owns the chunky lemon milk!

Dwight: And instead of a wolf, I cried, genetically engineered monster wolf.

Meredith: Meredith Palmer ain’t never been called no narc. Floozy, yes. Alky, check. Einstein sarcastically, you bet. But never, no narc. Vomit Mop, sure. Floor Meat, that’s me. Flesh Hoover, aye.

Pete: Why does no one stop her?

Andy: Let’s get back to busting some paper rhymes.

Jim: Who knows less about his marriage than the sound guy?

Phyllis: We started selling balloons.

Clark: Kathy Ireland signed on as the official spokesbabe of Dunder Mifflin.

Andy: Go, Kathy! She’s like 50.

Erin: You retweeted me a lot, to be fair.

Andy: If you fake it, I won’t be able to tell the difference. So I’ll feel good.

Pam: I think that you should stay and I think we should fight.

Jim: Alright, put your dukes up, Beesly.

Erin: And just so you know, I was worried you were dead. You were gone for three months!

David: Hey, Andy. Still here. What was that about three months?

Icon provided by pessimistreader.


  1. Anyone know what happened to the episode that Zap2it was predicting that was called “Andy’s Return”. Did they rename it?

  2. I don’t think Erin is gonna break-up with Andy, because I hate to see him miserable without her love. I always want him to be happy. Besides, she’s just hesitating.

  3. Hi Tanster:
    Just wanted to let you know you have two eps listed on “upcoming episodes” for Jan 31st. Are they planning a back-to-back ?

  4. I hated the Brian thing to begin with, and now he’s going to have more than one appearance? Ugh.
    If ANYTHING is even implied between him and Pam, I’m done.

  5. My guess is that Brian is going to act as some kind of mediator, saying something along the lines of that he’s seen Jim and Pam go through so much all these years and that he knows they can make it through.

  6. I think Andy is the one who gets fired in this episode and that is why Erin can’t break up with him. I mean, the guy has hardly been at work the past two seasons.

  7. Everyone is assuming so much. It probably just means he’s gonna start discussing ending the documentary. He’s gonna be like with you leaving the company soon Jim, we think it’s probably time to start wrapping it all up.
    I mean Jim is the most reasonable person to talk to about it since Michael is gone.

  8. Has it officially been revealed that the person who gets fired isn’t Andy though?

    I wasn’t guessing it would be Andy, but Pete’s “good reason to doubt her” has me curious.

    Also, since the 15th episode was originally going by the name “Andy’s Return,” I’m wondering if this is still Andy’s first episode back, with him showing up at the end maybe?

  9. Aw, poor Andy. Perhaps he comes back from his voyage a changed man, hence Erin’s doubts? And who breaks up with someone on Valentine’s Day?!

  10. So because there are two episodes going out next week, the Valentine’s episode falls a week early, with the next episode going out on Valentine’s night? That doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense. I can’t imagine any scenario in which Jim and Pam would share a meal with Brian on Valentine’s Day, and the documentary crew film it unless things are so bad between them at this point that it’s easier to have someone else there as a buffer, and for the film crew’s point of view, they are so worried about them that they get Brian to stage an intervention. Otherwise, it doesn’t make sense after all these years to suddenly have a member of their crew being part of the documentary.

  11. Again, do not forget the documentary is coming to an end this season. They might be discussing it on air ( since he already appeared on Cam) to close the documentary. Who are the best most sane people to talk that over with? Jim and Pam.

  12. @ 16 Limey – I am also curious as to what Andy has discovered during his time away, and remember the email he sent Erin many weeks back: “Going to stay away a bit longer and try to figure this whole life thing out”.
    Should be interesting to hear what he has to say and how (if) he explains leaving her behind. Maybe he’ll be the one initiating the official break-up, taking Erin by surprise when she was so flustered to find a way to break up with him.

  13. What if Andy comes back a nice guy? Did some soul-searching and understands his issues? Not sure anyone’s brought that theory up yet…

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